Parody of I've Never Been To Me
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A parody of I've Never Been To Me, first recorded by Randy Crawford and then by Charlene (who, opposite to David Learner a.k.a. Pickle, worked in a UK sweet shop before making it big as a performer). Original lyrics; official audio
Hey people, young people, starin' at your screen
You're a discontented student and a regimented teen
I've no doubt you weren't about in 1989
But I'm glad I was, and it's all because, TV back then was divine
Ooh I've been on tours down the corridors
Where the poison bats bring new doom
Heard the voices and questioned choices teams made in their clue rooms
I feared for Mellisandre, and feared Morghanna, on Ross's quest to collect FREE
I've seen a pair of dice
Watching Knightmare Series 3
Please people, young people, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why the TV's worse today
There's so little new to see, no power to surprise
Don't you want to know of the children's show that enthralled ten million eyes?
Oh I've seen Medusa and a Confuser
Who scared the goblins away
I found it daunting when deadly hauntings
Would hang around the wellway
I've been addressed by Treguard and had my day marred
By Mogdred's demonic glee
I've seen a pair of dice
Watching Knightmare Series 3
Hey, you know when Knightmare was? It was Fridays
A fantasy they created about people and places and a kid that can't see
And what Series 3 is?
It's that brittle maybe of hoping
And it's that loss, reality dawning
Adventures worth having, though they made no knights
That's truth, accepted
Sometimes I feel I'm smartin' for teams like Martin's
Whose quests were almost complete
Oh they knew no beetles but their defeat'll stay with me as a feat
I spend my life deploring
The strife so boring
That we've had since on TV
Hey people, I miss the pair of dice
Rolled in Knightmare Series 3
[Fading out]
Saw one elf-maiden who took a blade an'
Attacked an ogreish foe
I miss the pair of dice, Knightmare Series 3
I've watched a viking who had no liking
When magic made a boy grow
I miss the pair of dice, Knightmare Series 3
Heard jokes from jesters
And roars from Festus
And Merlin spell ENERGY...
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