Knightmare logo
  • Characters
    Powers that Be Opposition Unaligned
  • Dungeon
    Handpainted CGI Locations
  • Backstage
    Experiences Interviews History How Knightmare was made Convention
  • Fanzone
    Online Coverage Articles Magazines Fan projects
  • Series
    Series 2 Series 3 Series 4 Series 5 Series 6 Series 7 Series 8 Geek Week International Knightmare VR Series 1
  • Events
    Pre-2021 2021 2022 2023 2024 2025 2026
Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
Collapse
  1. Home
  2. Jester's Corner
  3. U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when...

U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Jester's Corner
325 Posts 57 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • D
    D
    Drassil
    Senior staff
    wrote on last edited by
    #305

    Completely OT and unfair, but I laugh whenever I see the abuse of the english language in the thread title from someone who, admittedly over 12 years later, is an english teacher

    Fixed. By another English teacher.

    As I see it, one member was showing appreciation of another member's deliberate yet ironic use of textspeak. Not sure anything needed fixing there, especially not nine months after Rachel's comment.

    Haha! Sorry for bumping this thread by the way I first saw this when I was 16 and I'm 28 now. I missed all these old classic threads

    That is nothing to apologise for, Glenn. You didn't really bump the thread as such: it was a side effect of you adding to it. The heyday of the forum's great humour threads may have passed, but at least us old-timers can look back on them together and still contribute when a new idea does pop into our heads. I'm glad you came back.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • D
      D
      Drassil
      Senior staff
      wrote on last edited by
      #306

      Cedric* swaps his quarterstaff for a crossbow and takes up hunting. Eventually he sets his sights on getting the head of a lion, only to be thwarted when it shoots laser beams at him.

      *Played as ever by a dentist.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • D
        D
        Drassil
        Senior staff
        wrote on last edited by
        #307

        Following a CITV competition, the ferryman of the Dunswater is named Beau T. McBoatvisage.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • P
          P
          Picklemyfav
          wrote on last edited by
          #308

           Fear is seen through the eyeglass gloating - and holding a white fluffy kitten

          Laughing at that one so hard..... i now have hiccups..... but then Lord Fear is an animal lover i am told.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • P
            P
            Picklemyfav
            wrote on last edited by
            #309

            [*]majida lives in a teapot instead of a bottle

            ]

            And i can just picture Treguard having guests over and picking up the wrong teapot to pour. Majida will crack up at him.

            [*]someone puts in a 'DISMISS' spell for the dungeoneers to use for a laugh

            I'm laughing so hard at that one. Still got hiccups.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • P
              P
              Picklemyfav
              wrote on last edited by
              #310

              So there stands Corbiss the Bemuser. Wary of the Angelic Eagle, "inundated with questions, questions, questions", hoping somehow to keep his allotment without losing the plot.

              After evading a flying piece of Igneous, the Angelic Eagle has fled, leaving only a feather behind. (Some say the eagle sought refuge with another wall monster, Granitas, who has returned to the dungeons after running an anti-Corbiss restaurant in Islington.) Corbiss the Bemuser turns the feather into a quill by using it to write a parchment to the new T. Bag (an empowered sister to Tallulah and Tabatha, thought to be named Theresa), urging her to consider the plight of the leopard when choosing her footwear. But after spilling ink over the parchment and finding his blotting paper inadequate, Corbiss abandons it and leaves for an engagement. Later, one of his ogres arrives and condemns the "****ing useless blotters" as he deals with the spillage. Whether he is happy to clean up Corbiss' mess, or doesn't even realise he's doing it, is unclear.

              Where did Corbiss go? Concerned for the structural integrity of the dungeon chambers, he attends a cube solidarity rally. He is later questioned about it by an elf of Elvandis (referred to by the tongue-tied as "Elvan-Davis") who brings news to knights. During this interview, Corbiss insists, "I don't do malice." A sorceress from Knightmare Series 4 would later remark, "I'd like to see him try!"

              As the interview concludes, the ogre arrives with a slice of Series 8 Life Force Pie (Corbiss felt sorry for it) and a cup of stinkwort tea. But he trips on another stray piece of Igneous and the contents of the tray go all over Corbiss. Blaming the equipment, the ogre rages about "****ing useless platters".

              "You could have done with protection against the platter," the cheeky elf says to Corbiss. "Where's a tray guard when you need it?"

              Pickle and Majida use the different helmets of justice and remake Robot Wars by building their own robots using said helmets and fighting each other. Skarkill gets invited to Lord Fear's castle for tea and finds out about Pickle and Majida remaking Robot Wars. Lord Fear decides to build a robot too as does Skarkill. Treguard decides to act as referee.

              After Pickle beats everyone else in the fight by running around and knocking all other fighters into the pit. The gang sit together and watch Robot Wars the new series on bbc 2.

              After the show ends Pickle asks Treguard and Lord Fear. "When is Knightmare coming back on?" They both reply. "I don't know. Still waiting on the phone call from Tim."

              While Lord Fear is at Treguard's castle Lissard has a little song and dance wearing a overly long robe of Lord Fear's. He has found a long blond wig and has decided to wear it with the robe. Corbiss the Bemuser comes in and remarks "that is a pretty lady" before grabbing Lissard on the chest causing Lissard to cry out. "Get off me you idiot i'm a guy."

              Corbiss the Bemuser decides to leave the castle.......... before Lissard lets Lord Fear know what happened......... but Lord Fear has just got the text from Lissard........ so Corbiss the Bemuser is being hunted down by Lord Fear as we speak......... Will he escape?

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • P
                P
                Picklemyfav
                wrote on last edited by
                #311

                Pickle has a university degree

                Pickle has got three university degrees and a HNC.

                He has a degree in spellcasting. One in joking about and winding people up. And one in midwife skills for some weird reason. His HNC is English. The language and how to teach it. He is studying for a HNC in media and one in toy making. He is getting a NC in maths as well.

                On meeting Lord Fear, he is drunk and offers to show you his little pet dragon

                Lord Fear is very friendly to folk when drunk. The problem is mainly that he can't pour the tea or cut a big slice of chocolate cake when drunk. He loves chocolate cake. Only saves it for honoured guests... if you're very lucky.... you might get a bit.

                The pet dragon likes to sit in people's laps and he has caused six fires today already. His name is Trident and he is a right fire breather when he gets excited. He hates having baths. Sometimes sand just doesn't get the mucky dragon clean.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • D
                  D
                  Drassil
                  Senior staff
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #312

                  Brother Mace makes a joke in Latin, then immediately drops his mace and walks off.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • Z
                    Z
                    zzt
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #313

                    ...Sly Hands gets his name legally changed to "Ben", dons the classic helmet, and goes on a quest for the Shield.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • P
                      P
                      Picklemyfav
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #314

                      ...Sly Hands gets his name legally changed to "Ben", dons the classic helmet, and goes on a quest for the Shield.

                      that's a good one..... i'm laughing so much at that one....... I might get hiccups again.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • P
                        P
                        Picklemyfav
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #315

                        You know someone's been messing with the dungeons when Lord Fear and his minons get Christmas presents from Santa Claus........ then Lord Fear tells a shocked Treguard that Santa Claus is his uncle.

                        Treguard is very shocked that both armies have got Christmas presents from Santa Claus this year.

                        Treguard is even more shocked when both armies have Christmas dinner at Lord Fear's castle without fighting........ They normally fight every year.

                        A christmas one for you all. lol.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • P
                          P
                          Picklemyfav
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #316

                          So there stands Corbiss the Bemuser. Wary of the Angelic Eagle, "inundated with questions, questions, questions", hoping somehow to keep his allotment without losing the plot.

                          After evading a flying piece of Igneous, the Angelic Eagle has fled, leaving only a feather behind. (Some say the eagle sought refuge with another wall monster, Granitas, who has returned to the dungeons after running an anti-Corbiss restaurant in Islington.) Corbiss the Bemuser turns the feather into a quill by using it to write a parchment to the new T. Bag (an empowered sister to Tallulah and Tabatha, thought to be named Theresa), urging her to consider the plight of the leopard when choosing her footwear. But after spilling ink over the parchment and finding his blotting paper inadequate, Corbiss abandons it and leaves for an engagement. Later, one of his ogres arrives and condemns the "****ing useless blotters" as he deals with the spillage. Whether he is happy to clean up Corbiss' mess, or doesn't even realise he's doing it, is unclear.

                          Where did Corbiss go? Concerned for the structural integrity of the dungeon chambers, he attends a cube solidarity rally. He is later questioned about it by an elf of Elvandis (referred to by the tongue-tied as "Elvan-Davis") who brings news to knights. During this interview, Corbiss insists, "I don't do malice." A sorceress from Knightmare Series 4 would later remark, "I'd like to see him try!"

                          As the interview concludes, the ogre arrives with a slice of Series 8 Life Force Pie (Corbiss felt sorry for it) and a cup of stinkwort tea. But he trips on another stray piece of Igneous and the contents of the tray go all over Corbiss. Blaming the equipment, the ogre rages about "****ing useless platters".

                          "You could have done with protection against the platter," the cheeky elf says to Corbiss. "Where's a tray guard when you need it?"

                          Pickle and Majida use the different helmets of justice and remake Robot Wars by building their own robots using said helmets and fighting each other. Skarkill gets invited to Lord Fear's castle for tea and finds out about Pickle and Majida remaking Robot Wars. Lord Fear decides to build a robot too as does Skarkill. Treguard decides to act as referee.

                          After Pickle beats everyone else in the fight by running around and knocking all other fighters into the pit. The gang sit together and watch Robot Wars the new series on bbc 2.

                          After the show ends Pickle asks Treguard and Lord Fear. "When is Knightmare coming back on?" They both reply. "I don't know. Still waiting on the phone call from Tim."

                          While Lord Fear is at Treguard's castle Lissard has a little song and dance wearing a overly long robe of Lord Fear's. He has found a long blond wig and has decided to wear it with the robe. Corbiss the Bemuser comes in and remarks "that is a pretty lady" before grabbing Lissard on the chest causing Lissard to cry out. "Get off me you idiot i'm a guy."

                          Corbiss the Bemuser decides to leave the castle.......... before Lissard lets Lord Fear know what happened......... but Lord Fear has just got the text from Lissard........ so Corbiss the Bemuser is being hunted down by Lord Fear as we speak......... Will he escape?

                          Corbiss has just been caught by lord fear ......the good news is that Lord Fear just wanted him to say sorry to lissard....... then lissard had to say sorry to lord fear for wearing his robe with a blond wig.....

                          lord fear then makes a public apology to any watchers who caught lissard dancing or singing.... he says he is not that cruel.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • D
                            D
                            Drassil
                            Senior staff
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #317

                            Two dungeoneers try to ride on Smirkenorff at the same time. United airwans remove one of them by force, drawing blood. The incident becomes known as The Red Draggin' and The Haul of Folly.

                            Mellisandre creates realm peace by giving Fatilla a Pepsi.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • D
                              D
                              Drassil
                              Senior staff
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #318

                              Smirkenorff narrowly avoids a mid-air collision with a stormgeist holding a spyglass in its mouth.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • D
                                D
                                Drassil
                                Senior staff
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #319

                                Skarkill defeats Pixel by holding up a pin cushion.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • D
                                  D
                                  Drassil
                                  Senior staff
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #320

                                  A catcombite uses a floating sword as a toothpick.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • D
                                    D
                                    Drassil
                                    Senior staff
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #321

                                    Series 7 Quest 7 is remade by Christopher Nolan as a film, Level, in which the Dungeoneer uses a potion to experience events in reverse and defend the realm from a violent future.

                                    Lissard's in it but I don't know what he would call himself.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • D
                                      D
                                      Drassil
                                      Senior staff
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #322

                                      A vindictive Pickle alleges that Treguard used Knightmare Adventurers Club subscriptions to pay for the Series 8 antechamber redesign.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • D
                                        D
                                        Drassil
                                        Senior staff
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #323

                                        Several spyglass scenes are preceded by Hordiss trying to sell dungeoneers life force insurance. He invites them to summon him and promises them a free quill just for inquiring.

                                        Later, Hordriss insults Snapper-Jack and is attacked by his puppet snapdragon arm. Hordriss remains bitter about this until further notice.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • M
                                          M
                                          Mashibinbin
                                          Staff
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #324

                                          Several spyglass scenes are preceded by Hordiss trying to sell dungeoneers life force insurance. He invites them to summon him and promises them a free quill just for inquiring.

                                          Later, Hordriss insults Snapper-Jack and is attacked by his puppet snapdragon arm. Hordriss remains bitter about this until further notice.

                                          Hordriss remains bitter but uses the incident in blatant self promotion thereafter.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0

                                          Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.

                                          Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.

                                          With your input, this post could be even better 💗

                                          Register Login
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.

                                          The Team

                                          Join
                                          Submissions
                                          Contact
                                          KM Chat
                                          Privacy Policy

                                          The Site

                                          About
                                          Search
                                          Site Map
                                          Terms & Conditions
                                          Q&A

                                          Keep up-to-date with Knightmare news:
                                          Visit KnightmareTV on X Visit KnightmareTV on Facebook Visit KnightmareTV on YouTube Receive Browser Notifications See our RSS Feed
                                          © Copyright Knightmare.com 1999-2026. All Rights Reserved. Moral rights are asserted.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups