Mrs. Grimwold
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Yep you have to watch what you say nowadays as Festus might have escaped and be on the loose somewhere around here. Also remember that the walls have ears and certain individuals have close friends around hear. Now we don't want to go around upsetting any Ogres around here now do we.
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Look, I'm not evil, dearies. If you wanna see evil, take a look at ol' Mildread over there. I mean, she's got a cauldron and an evil name an' all, even if she can't cackle half as well as some of us.
Why shouldn't I shove a dungeoneer near Festus? If they come trespassing on Grimwold property, I think I've got every right. If I gets goblins coming to visit, should I welcome them and invite them all in to share me 'omemade quiches? We've got the deeds to this old wellway room of ours and all- and who do ya think built the wellway? Eh? You think kidsies came down and dug it out? No, Festus dug it while looking for an old bone 'e buried, and these brats come past expecting to sidesteppy sidesteppy down it for free, well I just don't think that's right.
And the map? I was trying to help, dearies. Us cackling crones are stereotyped like you wouldn't believe. I cackled once at my interview at the Level 1 Asda and I was out of the door. It's discriminin... disrinim..., it's unfair is what it is, dearie. 'Ow are we supposed to support a family on Grimmy's ogre-ing wage, eh? I'm at my wit's end what with Grimmy paying more attention to that wench Smelly Sandra or whatever it is, a massive multi-headed electronically barking canine that isn't really a canine and only I can see, and a Brollachan- well, heaven knows what that is but it wants knowledge and us Grimwolds just don't 'ave a lot of that. Bones we got plenty of, but we just can't convince it that we just don't know the meaning of life, the chemical structure of water or the real reason Mellisandre Messenger was asked to host Fort Boyard, so it keeps on askin' and askin'.
I'm so glad someone realises I'm a kind hearted soul, Arcengal. Now, if you'd just like to swap me that magic horn there for this map I've got... No, course yer can't see it before yer buy it.... Look, It's a map of Swindon, alright... well, I did hear Mogdred's taken up residence there, so it'd be ever so useful... oh, be like that, then- turn to yer left- just over here dearie, that's it, keep walking...
sound of electronic barking overlaid with mad cackling
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And I thought I was the only evil entity around here...
{Floats there, ominously...}
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there's a sure fire way to tell if an old women is evil or cruel.
"what is iodine used for?"
Pure evil- treating any kind of graze or cut
plain cruel- treating large cuts
sweet- oh i used to use that but it stings really badly so i'll go and get you an elastoplaste and a cookie
took chemistry as a child- it a halogen element that can be used in the production of aromatic nitriles.
Simple test.
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I always liked Mrs G, not only was she funny, she was also a great creation all round.
She was sadistic, no doubt, one minute friendly, next rather nasty.
Playing her in RPG5 was mucho fun
And I can bet Tom Karol was more than pleased with his role.Shame she did not carry on for S4 and beyond.
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Three wasn't it?!
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E's two-headed, which is better than being two-faced like that b**** Mildread. (I'll tell 'er where to stick her first place trophy from the pie making contest.) Used to av' three, but Grimwold- that's my 'ubbie, dearie, bit one of 'em off. We do now know it was down to the fact that 'is pie- the one I leaves for 'im in the kitchen- 'ad been stolen by none other than Smelly Sandra, or worrever 'er name is.
And 'e 'as 5 tails. And 'e likes barking. And e's behind you.
sound of electronic barking followed by chewing
Oops. Too late. Sorry, dearie.
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Gives a bone to Featus
I like two headed thingies... and I like things that bark or howl. So I like Festus. And what about Mildread imitating that dungeneers voice and trying to lead him on to that couldron... Now THATS evil...
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E's two-headed,
Lol, shows you how much I know about old festus doesnt it?
I'll shuddup now
Gives festus 2 big juicy bones, one for each head
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