What they say and what they mean...
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Reminds me of the old "What CITV presenters really mean" page on NKTP!
Series 4, Team 4 advisor whos name I can't remember now: "Simon, sidestep to your left"
What he meant: "Simon, sidestep to your right" (obvious one, really :p)
Majida: "Eeet's too deefeecult, ee can't even see what hee/shee's doeeng!"
What she meant: "It's too easy! Let's make it EVEN EASIER!"
CITV woman after the last episode: "If you'd like to take part in a future edition of Knightmare, please send an stamped address envelope to..."
What she meant: "Hahahahaha! Suckers!"
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What Gibbet said: "Who tairrrrned that light on? Ye're going tae pay for it now!"
What he meant: "Only two appearances in the whole series? Mutter... right... let's make the most of this... spellcasting, H-A-M-I-T-U-P!"
Yes, it's bad. But it's the best I can come up with for now. Looks like Drassil took all the best ones...
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I like it
I had an idea for play awhile play for ever (Means: Wait untill I find that Knightmare Chess board... you want the white or the black ones?)
but it's not too good
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How about this
What Mogdred says: Play awhile...Play forever!
What Mogdred means: Just as soon as I get this games cupboard open, we'll play Ludo.
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Gretel says: "I hope you could tell from my voice that I'm really pretty!"
She means: "For all you can see under that helmet I could be so incredibly hideous I'd lose a beauty contest to Mildread and Mrs. Grimwold... and probably Fatilla as well, but you'd damn well better agree with me or you'll be wiped out in a maximum of two rooms from now..."
Gretel also says: "Wheeeeeeee!" (accompanied by various girly squeaks)
She means: "What the hell am I doing? I must be getting on for 30 and I'm pretending to be less mature than the youngest of all these kids..."
Granitas says: "Olgarth is unfit for guard duty!"
He means: "For all you know I am Olgarth, Granitas doesn't exist and I'm playing a bizarre trick on you. You know, like when there was those two twin girls who both had boyfriends and decided to swap them for a week..."
Igneous says: "I am Igneous of legend. Thrrrrrrrrree rrrrrrrrrriddles have I, and trrrrrrrrruth I seek!"
He means: "My gimpy voice is really getting on your tits, isn't it?"
Cedric says: "Halt there, dogsbottom!"
He means: Pretty much the same as what Elita meant above.
Pickle says: "Oh no, master, it's Elita! She gives all elves a bad name!"
He means: "She dumped me last week and I'm still in a strop."
Brother Strange says: "I am a proverbial monk. I copllect proverbs."
He means: "On a basic monastery wage, i.e. nothing, I can't afford Pokemon cards."
Lord Fear says: "16 Million Colours, Stereo Sound, Auto Scan and remote surf across levels 1, 2 and 3."
He means: "Impressive, isn't it? Got it in Rumbelows' closing down sale, and it still cost me five grand. Put your slimy mitts on it, Lissard, and I'll turn you into fisherman's pie!"
(NOTE to historians: I have looked up the date that Rumbelows shut down, and it was 1995. But the joke was too good to waste.)
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I'll have a try at this
Smirkenoff says: 'I don't suppose you have any...dragon mints?'
Smirkenoff means: 'I don't suppose you have any...Wriggley's Mint Chewing Gum?'
Treguard says: 'Enter, strangers!'
Treguard means: 'Hurry up and come in you stupid fools!'
'Hordriss the Confuser'.
It means: 'Hordriss the Weirdo'.
I'll edit a few more in this post in a sec, just have to think of some more!
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Team Enters Block And Tackle
Trguard: Danger Team, Dont linger Here 'Cause Nothing Is Quite As Stable As It Seems....
Means: Mwhahaha. You Failed To Answer The Riddle Given To YOu By The Not-So-Funny Weaping Door, And So You Will Perish Here For Being So Stupid Not To Know Who Created Underwear
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Treaguard to the first ever winning team:"I salute you, we all salute you."
Means: "Ok you stole the glory of being the only one to defeat the dungeon. Now get outta here!"
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Treguard says: "Think, team!"
Treguard means: "Listen to the clue I'm about to give you, team."
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Treguard says: "This is no game of numerous lives. Here you have only one."
Treguard means: "...Or sometimes two."
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Merlin says: "You will have to take the path without my help.... remember, others have done so and still survived."
Merlin means: "You've blown it. You're now in losing status. However it would look really bad if i personally terminated a dungeoneer, so i'm gonna lie to you and give you false hope. The goblins can finish you off in a few minutes time."
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