Reality TV shows
-
Grimaldine With Me. The wildly adored Series 7 character invites dinner guests to help him eat his five a day ("sometimes of the grape, always of the greens"), and tries ad libbing with his mouth full.
Time Turns, Team. Treguard and crew dig up relics of previous phases of adventuring.
How Mean Is Your House? The Opposition test the ruthlessness of their lairs on unwitting cleaning staff.
-
One Born Very Minute. Behind the scenes at Goody Midwife's maternity ward for pixies. Recommended viewing on mute with subtitles.
I've Insobriety, Yet Miaow To Fear. The Dungeon's alcoholic denizens camp out in Fetlock Jungle (yes, it's been reclassified) and must perform animal impressions for the Opposition to earn ale.
One's Bored Every Minute. Hordriss tries to cure his round-the-clock ennui with poetry, makeovers, pranks and narcotics.
-
Neddy Unsteady Cook: Cuthbert the Unsteady joins forces with the dashed fine steed to host a cookery show with a difference. Sadly this difference involves repeated and widespread food poisoning, and the series is axed. Neddy, humiliated, fakes his own death with the help of his most devoted fan: Treguard.
I Could Never Be Your Woman: Premake of There's Something About Miriam starring the future Mrs. Grimwold.
Flog Git: Lord Fear takes his most incompetent minions to an auction house to flog-as-in-sell them. If he fails, he flogs-as-in-whips them. After too many series, Lord Fear attempts to flog Neddy's 'corpse' (see above), prompting Treguard to intervene with a live horse warning. Then someone swaps the auctioneer's gavel with an Acme Persuader and it all gets a bit silly.
-
The Only Way Is Airsick: Smirkenorff and S6 girl Peggatty compete to see which of them can make a passenger vomit first.
Its success leads to a celebrity special in which Dickon from Knightmare competes against our own Billy: The Only Way Is Hares/Hicks.
-
The Chase: Starring the Automatum, an assassin, a goblin and Skarkill as the chasers.
-
Tumble (To Your Death). Blindfolded contestants perform gymnastic and circus routines: some death-defying, some not so.
The Singer Takes A Fall. Performers stand on Mellisandre's trapdoor while the watchers judge their vocal talent or lack thereof.
Treguard's Sprite Is Right. Dungeoneers guess the value of various clue objects while Pickle constantly interrupts with his own predictions.
-
Slog, Tarry, A. Boyd? New teams are given Quest 6 of Series 8 and must decide whether to make the effort to take on Level 2, linger on a specially extended Level 1 or repeat Dunstan & co's scandal. Hosted by the original Team 6 captain and short cut excuser Alan Boyd,* who repeatedly breaks the fourth wall to address the critics throwing themselves at it.
*Hands that feed me. I bite them. Talking of feeding...
The Great British Flake Off. Contestants have to bake pies, tarts, croissants etc. to feed Mary Rothberry as skin flakes away from her Life Force clock. Anyone who tries to get any mileage whatsoever out of the pun "soggy bottom" is instantly disqualified via fireball.
Time Turns, Team. Treguard and crew dig up relics of previous phases of adventuring.
I can't claim that this inspired David Rowe's current project but I'm pleased at the coincidence.
-
Slog, Tarry, A. Boyd? New teams are given Quest 6 of Series 8 and must decide whether to make the effort to take on Level 2, linger on a specially extended Level 1 or repeat Dunstan & co's scandal. Hosted by the original Team 6 captain and short cut excuser Alan Boyd,* who repeatedly breaks the fourth wall to address the critics throwing themselves at it.
*Hands that feed me. I bite them.
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login