Quotes
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"I sit here in my lonely cell and I contemplate the follies of the wide world. And I also drink a lot of ale." - Brother Mace
Exchange between Barry and Sylvester Hands:
"If you were strong, you'd be able to capture us both. This is a strength potion."
"Is it beer?"
"Well, more or less. Tastes like beer, anyway."
"Oh, no, I can't, I promised 'is lordship."
"No, there's no alcohol in it, so he won't mind."
"Well, if it 'asn't got any alcohol I'm not interested."
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Back in May I added a Knightmare page to a site called Wikiquote, a website listing, well, quotes. Feel free to add your own, though try and make the wording as accurate as possible:
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Pickle's 'Bog Off' to the watchers is a favourite of mine.
Totally unexpected and brilliantly said!
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"Welcome to one of Mogdread's little playpens, Dungeoneer. Play awhile...play forever! Mwahahahahahaha! Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!"
Top banana, that one.
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If you had to choose, what do you think was each character's funniest line in the show? (You can pick two, if you like - the wittiest line on paper, and the one that makes you laugh the most because of the way it's delivered or whatever.) Here are some of my choices...
CEDRIC
Best line: "Now personally, I can't stand rudeness!"
My favourite: "Stick it in your knapsack!" Only Cedric could make a gift sound like an insult.
SYLVESTER HANDS
Best line: "Oh, if it ain't got any alcohol I'm not interested."
For me, though, Sly's funniest moment is when he's making his excuses to Lord Fear for boozing on the job - the way he goes "I do lots o' walking!" in a really pathetic voice always cracks me up. g
SIR HUGH DE WITTLESS
Best line: "Opposition? Never heard of him!"
My favourite: possibly "Well, enough o' the girlish vapours, now let's get to the rescuin' part!" I love that scene with Gwendoline - the way he just slings her over his shoulder, kicking and screaming is pretty hilarious, especially as she was such a humourless character most of the time.
JULIUS SCARAMONGER
"January? Oh, come for the sales, have you?"
ROTHBERRY
"Information? I could probably give you some information, like, um, the melting point of some metals." Genius ad-lib!
RAPTOR
(Whispered in the dwarf tunnels) "Rhark - you stop playing with that. It be dead!" Generally Raptor just annoys me and I struggle to make out what he's saying, but that line greatly amused me when I noticed it.
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A line that I now always use in real life thanks to Lord Fear:
"Thank badness for that!"
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I'm planning to put up an "accumulated wisdom" page on my website, compiling some of the wisest truths ever uttered in the series.
Here's some quotes to be going on with...
"When the going gets cold, the tough get frozen."
"Life goes on... or not."
"You smell like something the cat brought up!"
"Any decision is better than indecision. Well, almost."
"There's only one way to get out [of a monster's stomach]. Well two actually, but we won't go into that!"
"Can you try giving a straight answer for once?"
"Maybe."
Funnily enough I had the same idea a while back. I came up with these ones:
"You can always trust something with its head missing." (Gundrada, Series 4)
"You can't sign a peace treaty with a Pooka." (Treguard, Series 7)
"If you invent something new, give it a really pretentious name - everyone goes overboard for it." (Lord Fear, Series
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