They would never say...
-
as the dungeoneer picks up the crown Lord F appears to gloat
Treguard: Extreme danger team! Fortunately you still have the revolver that Greystagg gave you, put it to use!
Lord F: (upon seeing the dungeoneer draw the gun) What the...?! Bang
-
Sidriss - "Oh, I know the answer to that one."
Teacher - "Well, Sylvester Hands, you've got 10 out of 10 in your spelling test."
-
Blocker: 'Password, please.'
Smirkenorff: 'Treguard, why is your sword called Wyrmslayer?'
Treguard: 'Er... well, you see... look, a puppeteer!' [runs off]
Malice: Morgie?
Morghanna: Yeah?
Malice: Can I, like, borrow your dress?
Morghanna: Which one?
Malice: The black one? You haven't worn it since, like, last year. And the head bit. Please?
Morghanna: Alright. But don't spill anything on it. Pause Why doesn't Mogdred ever call?
Dungeoneer: Spellcasting: P-I-C-K-M-E-U-P
Despair: sings Pick me up, before you go-go, don't leave me looking at you feeling so low...
-
The dungeoneer is using a spyglass. Lord F gives out the vital info then looks straight at Dungeoneer
Lord F: Stressed? Nervy? Irrittable? Tired of life? Winks Keep it up.
-
It's the winning quest of series 6. just as Ben is finishing the great causeway Julius Scaramonger shows up.
Scaramonger: Hello there, young shaver me lad. And er, how are you this fine day?
Ben: I'm fine.
S: Well, ben, I regret to inform you that there is now a toll for crossing this causeway, and if you don't pay up, you don't go thurther. The toll is three gold bars.
B: But that's not fair! I can only carry two things at once! and I haven't seen any gold in ages!
S: Well, I'm sorry but that's not my fault. Those are the rules, you see, and rules are rules, so... Shoves Ben backwards over edge of causeway
B: Yaaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!
S: Turns to face Tim Child who is stood behind him Right, there, it's done. Now pay up.
Tim: Handing over heavy sack of gold Mwa ha ha! Now there will be no winners in this series! or the next! Or the one after that! I'm so dastardly! Oh, yes indeed!
-
One from series eight...
*The gate is open and a young dungeoneer is about to enter. However, as he does, he trips and falls down the stone steps, landing heavily at the bottom.
Dungeoneer: Ow...
Treguard: Are you allright down there?
No...I can't feel my legs.T: Oh, dear...this looks bad.
I'm scared. my back hurts.T: Erm...just hang on. We'll do something.
sobbing I want to go home...T: To Tim Child Can we get sued for this?
Tim: Yes.
T: Right...right...
A few minutes later...
Dungeoneer sits with leg bandaged. Treguard is talking to him gently.
T: Now here you go, here's a nice Frightknight trophy for you. And a big pile of money. Have this X-Box too, even though it hasn't been invented yet. Now, we give you all this and in return, you tell your family and friends that you fell when you were getting out of the taxi, Okay?
-
Treguard: Try to get your combat multiplier even higher...
-
Wall monster: The blood red stone will bring bloodshed
Dungeoneer: Catch this!
Dungeoneer: Now we see blood red stone!
##########################################
Wall monster: The After Eight Mints must be used accordingly...
Advisor: What happened, these were for the troll...
Treguard: It wasn't After Eight was it team
##########################################
Dungeoneer: Why are you upset Sylvester... Oh yes! It's November, it's nearly time for you're bath!
-
Team reaches level 3, but instead of Marblehead...
Treguard: Extreme danger, team! This is Lord Fear's latest innovation, he calls it The Technodrome!
-
Lissard: Lissard calling Lordnesss! Come in, Lordness!
Fear: Ah, Lissard. And what have you learned today?
L: I've learned that love is a tricksy path, Lordness.
F: No, what have you learned about the current quest?
L: Oh! Er...the dungeoneer's male, Lordness?
Treguard: (watching through spyglass) Ah, lovely! A parody of Mork and Mindy.
-
Treguard: 'Ooh nasty, what a pity, never mind.'
[Treguard gets his first glimpse of a causeway in operation.]
Treguard: 'A causeway! Ground breaking.'
Pickle: 'Boom boom.'
-
Treguard: "Join us again for Knightmare. Until next time, good pie!"
Or...
"Join us again for Knightmare. Until next time, Good guy!"
Or...
"Join us again for Knightmare. Until next time, Good fry!"
-
Mogdred: "Your only hope to reach level three now is to pledge yourself to me, and come as my servant. Well, will you pledge yourself to me? We need a twelth man out here! Come on, let's be having you!"
The Delia Smith School of Public Speaking - Now Taking Resitrations
-
Brollachan: "I hunger, why don't you feed me with some rock cakes"
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