It’s a busy year with a wedding and as-yet-unplanned honeymoon for me (whenever Southeast Asia isn’t in the rainy season) but count me in if possible!

I will be heading at 6 to a meal with my fiancée (Saturday is my actual birthday!) but if you arrive before then it would be great to see you

I could just bring my own Tesco Clubcard and we could use either paper & tape or CGI to change the name to Randal, or just cover my name with a thumb.

Just having another look at these before tomorrow, and I’m fine with all of them except playing the Dungeonaut in The Winning Quest - I’d rather be one of the advisors for that if it’s not too late to reshuffle, which could help Forester as somehow he seems to be both Advisor 1 and 3 in that, unless I’m missing some planned CGI trickery!

Sorry for the delay, yes all agreed here

I’ll need the evenings free for that weekend (particularly the Fri and Sat) as it’s my birthday on the 24th which I do like to celebrate! Otherwise I can make that work this far in advance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz8erlGw1m4

Entertaining 'YTP' video edit of Series 1 by the YouTuber DaThings, which has been popular in recent days. Many of the comments note that they discovered the show thanks to Spoony's review of it back in 2008, which does seem to have been a huge introduction to many in the United States.

Highlights for me include Treguard's horse impression and David "perishing in reality"!

Count me in, living in London it makes Brighton very easy to get to!

Thanks for bringing that to my attention - while Wikipedia is an open encyclopedia for all, I feel quite protective about the Knightmare article as it was me who turned it from a small "stub" article to the bigger one you see today in May of 2005. With assistance from Brollachan (photos) and Drassil (copyediting/factual corrections) of this forum, as well as Tim Child himself who helped me via email!

The reference to 'Helmet Castle Kids' was added to the article on January 24th 2020, by a user's only edit to the website. I'm fairly sure the show doesn't exist at all and it's just someone having a laugh, so as of today I've reverted their edit and removed the reference.

Hi all, long time no post!

Recently I was back at my family's house, and on a just-about functioning old computer hard drive I found all my old designs/random writings from almost twenty years ago. One that stood out was "Knightmare Just a Minute", a brief fanfic I wrote in 2004 while waiting to watch the new movie 'The Incredibles' at the cinema I'd been listening to JaM lots on Radio 4 that year, and was trying to find ways of combining KM with other programmes you wouldn't normally associate it with. My Knightmare/Chucklevision fanfic from that year is somewhere online (the Lexicon I think) while also on this hard drive I found never-finished attempts at combining Knightmare/Doctor Who and Knightmare/The Simpsons - now I've got the Word files back I might finally try and finish them!

This I never posted at the time due to being an immensely shy sixteen year old who didn't have confidence in his work. But many years later, and as a nice tribute to the recently deceased Nicholas Parsons, I thought I'd finally publish it on this forum below. Nothing's been changed from my original teenage draft and I still think there's some amusing-ish moments in it, so enjoy

====

Treguard: Welcome, listeners, to Just a Minute!

(Applause, theme tune)

Treg: And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more, it is my pleasure to welcome you all to this very special Knightmare edition of Just a Minute. As Nicholas Parsons seems to be elsewhere right now, I, Treguard of Dunshelm, will be the chairman tonight. With me are four resident dungeongoers who are ready to speak without Hesitation, Repetition or Deviation for 60 seconds on a chosen subject, for that is the object of the game if you've never heard it before. On my left is Merlin and Mogdred (you won't believe how long it took to get them both here tonight) and on my right is Pickle and Majida. Would you please welcome all four of them!

(Applause)

Treg: Sitting behind me is the Ogre, who will growl when the 60 seconds are up. So, without further ado, Merlin, you're starting the show off, and a easy subject for you indeed- Knightmare itself. Will you please talk about that subject for 60 seconds, starting now!

Merlin: Well, I, erm...

BUZZ

Treg: Pickle challenged.

Pickle: Hesitation, master.

Merl: Oh, come now! I hadn't even, er, even, er...

Treg: ...started, Merlin? That may be so, but you did hesitate, so Pickle, you gain one point for a correct challenge and you have 59 seconds on Knightmare starting now.

Pick: Knightmare was a thoroughly excellent programme, the highlight years surely being 1990 to 1992. All the others weren't worth bothering with, really...

BUZZ

Treg: And Majida has challenged.

Majida: Ee is talking out of hees eears! Thee best years were the last two, because I was een them!

Treg: Er, I'm afraid that isn't a correct challenge...Pickle, one point to you and 48 seconds left.

Pick: Kni...

BUZZ

Treg: Majida challenges again.

Maji: Ok, repeteetion. Ee said 'the' twice, so do I get a go yet, huh?

Treg: I think it would be terribly unfair to include words like 'the', so another point to Pickle, and you have 47 seconds left.

Pick: By far the best character in the history of Knightmare, was, of course, myself...

BUZZ

Pick: Oh, elf boots...

Treg: And Majida challenges a third time...

Maji: Hee's lyeeng!

Treg: That STILL isn't a correct challenge, so Pickle...sighs yet another point to you, and 43 seconds left on Knightmare.

Pick: ...not to be confused with a certain IRRITATING genie who killed off the show just when it was getting...

BUZZ

Pick: ARGH!

Maji: That's EET! I'm SEECK of all theese LYEES! Eet's a stupid game anyway! I'm leeving!

(sounds of stamping feet and door slamming)

Mogdred: Well, THIS is going well.

Pick: He speaks!

Treg: Don't worry, ladies and gentlemen, we have several standby contestants on hand, so in Majida's place we now have Sly Hands.

Sly Hands: Er, 'ello.

Pick: Great...does anyone want to switch seats?

Treg: I think we'd best move on to a different subject, seeing all the trouble this one has caused...

Pick: Aww, just when I was getting the hang of it!

Treg: So Sly, since you're the newcomer, your subject is Pookas, and your 60 seconds begins now!

Sly: Nasty 'orrible things, Pookas. Was menaced on the way 'ere by one, all big an' green an' slimy. 'Is Lordship says...he's ever such a nice bloke, 'e is...'e says...

BUZZ

Treg: Pickle challenges.

Pick: Deviation.

Treg: I suppose so, going from Pookas to how nice Lord Fear is, something I wholeheartedly don't agree with...

Sly: Oi! If 'e 'eard you say that, e'd, e'd...

Treg: He'd WHAT, Sly? Red dragons, trolls, series cancellations...we've always managed to get the one up over him. Anyway, Pickle, he did indeed deviate, so a point to you and 52 seconds left.

Pick: Pookas are...

BUZZ

Treg: Ah, Mogdred has challenged!

Mogd: Deviation.

Pick: WHAT?! NO, NO WAY DID I...

(Mogdred glares at Pickle, Pickle shuts up)

Pick: ...well done, excellent challenge...

Treg: I didn't notice him deviate, but alright, he admits it, so one point and 51 seconds left on Pookas.

Mogd: Ah, Pookas! Causing terror in the hearts of dungeoneers! Terror, terror, terror...

(Pickle reaches for the buzzer, Mogdred glares again, Pickle puts hand back)

Mogd: Terror, terror, terror, terror...

BUZZ

Treg: Merlin challenges.

Merl: Sorry, dropped off for a bit there. He, um, did something, something that isn't allowed, I think.

Treg: What, repetition of 'terror'?

Merl: Yes, I suppose so.

Treg: Sorry, Mogdred, but your alter ego is right this time, so Merlin actually gains a point and has 39 seconds left.

Merl: So what's the subject? Pinkas? Punkas? Er, Ponkas...

Treguard: Pookas.

Merl: Thank you. Yes, Pookles...

Treguard: Pookas, Merlin...

Merlin: Plookas...

Treguard: POOKAS!

Merlin: POOKAS! Yes! Don't need to shout, it's only a game! Well, Pookas, er, well indeed. They, they do something, erm, something that's, well, they move, fly around and, er, do things. Yes? Yes. Yes, they do things to do with other things, er, what are they called, dungieonimins, no, dungeoneers, that's right! Ah ha ha, yes indeed! Dungeoneers, they re...retreat. Mmm. They retreat from these, green, green things, I've forgotten the names of them now. Ah yes. And they, they also...

Ogre: RAAAGH!

(Applause followed by 10 seconds of silence. Stick enters in from stage left and pokes Treguard, who jumps)

Treg: Oh, has someone won? Merlin, you've somehow managed to get a bonus point for talking as the whistle went. I don't know if you managed to do it properly, though, as we all fell asleep...the scores, then. Pickle is in the lead with an amazing 5 points, followed by Merlin with 2 points, Mogdred with 1 and Sly Hands with none!

(Applause, Pickle looks smug)

Treg: Next subject is for Mogdred, and it's a hard one as you weren't in it! It's Series 7, and your 60 seconds starts now.

...

Treg: Er, where IS Mogdred?

Pickle: Not sure, master, now there's just an empty seat.

Treg: Alright, let's bring in another standby contestant...Barry!

(everyone groans)

Treg: Barry, since it would be unfair if you came in halfway through and had no points, you're inheriting Mogdred's total of one.

Barry: Well, thank you, I must say it's an honour to be on this show, especially in the fine company of you all, and indeed the audience...

Sly: 'Ere! How come I didn't get any of those genie woman's points?

Treg: Because she didn't have any in the first place. Barry, you have Just a Minute to talk about Series 7, starting now.

Barr: Series 7, a classic Knightmare series. It was shown between Friday 10th September and 17th December 1993, always at the time of 4.40pm on CITV across the United Kingdom. In 1996 it was repeated on the Sci Fi Channel, and on Challenge in 2004. There were seven teams - which isn't a repetition, as 'seven' is part of the subject too - and two of them were winners, including myself with Simon, Derek and Daniel (Team 7) and the one before that, featuring Julie, Helen, Samantha and the third advisor, who had the same name as the one who began with H. All new series include several changes, and this one was no exception. A new helmet of justice, for example, which the dungeoneer could now see through at certain times. I could go on for days about Series 7...the first team consisted of Simon, David, Matthew and Nicholas who died in Level 3 at Play Your Cards Right, a new puzzle. The second? They were Nicola, Diane, Lisa and Vicky. And they...

Ogre: RAAAGH!

(Standing ovation from audience)

Treg: Well, Barry lasted the whole 60 seconds without being challenged once! Two points to him. Our final subject tonight...

Barr: ...needed a nightsight, which they didn't have. After that came...

Treg: Barry, it's over! The ogre has roared!

Barr: Alex, James, Neil and Richard...

Treg: Barry!

Barr: And they met their end in the same way as the first...

Sly: (Now with a large bottle in hand) Lischen you, if you (hic!) don't sheut up, I'm gounna, I'm gounna...(collapses on desk)

(Treguard sighs, puts feet up and starts reading The Daily Dungeon)

Barr: As for the FOURTH, well...

Merl: Spellcasting! S!

Barr: You may have heard of the Trial By Spikes...

Merl: I!

Pick: ...L, E, N, C, E!

(Barry's mouth disappears)

Pick: That ought to shut him up until tomorrow morning.

Merl: Indeed, Gickle.

Pick: Pickle.

Merl: Pickle. So, Treguard, what's the next subject?

Treg: Who cares, Merlin? Pickle's obviously won. I knew we should have done 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue' instead...

(Treguard sighs and exits antechamber)

Pick: Ah well. G'night folks!

(Applause, theme tune)

Billy: You've been listening to the first- and probably last- Special Knightmare Edition of Just a Minute! It starred Treguard, Merlin, Mogdred, Pickle, Majida, the Ogre, Sly Hands and Barry Thorne. Based on the original 'Just a Minute' devised by Ian Messiter, and ripped off...er, homaged in this fanfic by Billy Hicks. Originally written on the 29th of November 2004!

(Epilogue. The studio is now empty, save for a bored Pickle and Merlin still seated)

Pick: Fancy a game of Mornington Cresent, Merlin?

Merl: Crazed Heffer.

Pick: Mornington Cresent.

Merl: You win.

Pick: Fix.

THE END

Financial reasons mean I'll be arriving tomorrow morning about 9am, so see you all Saturday and enjoy tonight!

Haha, was just mentioning to a few fans recently it was time for our three-year Blackpool tradition

I'm there as long as I have a few weeks notice to book time off work.

This was fun to do in York a few years ago - if I can get the time off work then sure!

Bear in mind that the huge majority of "original" fans (those who watched those first ITV airings) are now almost all in their 30s with some even 40s - a 15 year old in 1987 would be turning 44(!) this year, where I was five when I watched Series 7 and I'm 28 in a few months!

It becomes a lot harder to remain active on online conmunities when RL commitments - work, relationships, even children etc - become part of every day life, but that's what makes the Challenge repeats/Youtube revivals so brilliant for bringing in new fans and returning older ones. The convention two years ago had all sorts of fans ranging from some of the earliest ones online back in the late 1990s, to those who weren't even born when the show ended - something as recently as a decade ago I'd never have thought possible! People come and go but KM still has a future for the young and old(er)

I had no idea until reading David's recent article that Richard Bonehill had passed away, a key part of the original Knightmare pilot and the one who gave me his original script for it.

As previously mentioned, it was the result of a lazy day in May 2006 that had me enter the word 'Knightmare' into Google and see how far I could go before I ran out of results. After the first couple of pages there were few interesting results left, mostly mirrors of the Wikipedia article and websites unrelated to the show. After what I think was 20+ pages, I found Richard's website and couldn't believe what he had for sale.

This is the email he sent me after I asked if it was still available.

Hi Billy ,

Many thanks for your email . It is good to hear from a 'Knightmare' fan .

Yes I do have the original script for sale . The price is £20 plus £4 postage. It is for the Knightmare Pilot which was taped on 27/28th January 1987 .

I played the part of the Monk + C/K Guardian . My part involved me asking the adventurers a number of questions for them to advance to the next level . It involved two days shooting .

On the second occasion which involved 4 days work I played an invisible swordsman . For this I was dressed in a skin tight blue suit (looking like a rather peculiar Spiderman) and filmed against a blue screen . I was wielding a scimitar so the effect on screen was just a sword moving around . With today's Computer Generated Images it does seen very basic now . However at the time it was quite ground-breaking and exciting work .

I hope the above information is of interest .

Once again many thanks for getting in touch .

Best Wishes ,

Richard

I immediately confirmed the sale and pointed him to this website, and on sending me his details he replied with this:

I have just visited the Knightmare web site . Very impressive . It is interesting that people are still enthusiastic about a show that was made some time ago . Please feel free to share any information with other enthusiasts .

I did (perhaps rather cheekily) also ask him if he had any other KM memorabilia, but the script was the only thing he had

After some years the full script finally made it on this website, and it remains to this day one of my most treasured KM possessions. I will forever be thankful to him for allowing a previously unknown part of Knightmare's history to be shared by all.

The biggest positive I can find with Knightmare VR is just how it felt at the time. Looking back, the gap between 1994 and 2004 seems hilariously short and if someone announced the triumphant return of, I dunno, Dick and Dom in da Bungalow now, it wouldn't feel like it had been gone long enough to warrant a comeback. But given I was six in 1994 and fifteen when KMVR premiered, it felt like a huge moment, something I had essentially been waiting my whole life for. With Challenge repeating all eight series regularly, and Treguard's brief if fun appearance in the aforementioned Bungalow, it genuinely felt like things were building to something major. For it to fizzle out so soon and things to enter the comparative wilderness of late noughties KM fandom (when the future events of 2013-14 felt so unlikely I'd have dismissed them at the time as absolutely impossible) was a huge shame.

Looking back 2004 wasn't the best of times to attempt it, too late for the show to still be seen as remotely current yet too early for any adulthood nostalgia to have properly developed - a bit like your favourite 1980s pop group trying to get a hit circa 1996, a post-relevant/pre-nostalgic impossibility. And even with advances in computer technology in the ten years since Series 8, it still wasn't enough to work as a completely CGI format - today it looks only slightly above a Playstation 2 game, with better graphics able to be achieved with off the shelf software you can buy anywhere a decade on.

Many instantly dismissed KMVR as point-missing nonsense, a textbook example of how not to revive a show. But I see it as the equivalent of the 1996 Doctor Who TV movie - it perhaps wouldn't have worked in the long run, but damn was it good to see it briefly back.

Part of me wonders if the nigh-impossible difficulty in Series 3 is a reaction to not one, but two teams winning in Series 2 - a number that was perhaps seen as too many, teams figuring out the show quickly enough so that appearances in Level 3 were becoming much more regular. If another two teams were to win in Series 3, the show wouldn't be seen as difficult at all and viewers may have lost interest.

For no one to win perhaps was too much, and led to the standard one-team-per-series wins that lasted for the rest of the show's run - not completely engineered that way, but teams seen as particularly good and watchable given something of a helping hand as they approached victory.

I'll have to miss the Saturday as I'll just be coming back from Turkey, but I've just booked the first train up there on Sunday morning (arriving 11:52am) and back at noon the next day. Will be staying in the hostel on the same road as the Travelodge (£18).

See you all there!

It's a brilliant start, and stands up hugely well to adult viewing that later series perhaps don't. But my god it's repetitive. Maybe not quite so at the time, but my first viewing of it back in 2001 was all eight episodes in one go, which really brings out the identical script at points.

Positives for the Insults Contest, a brilliantly lengthy scene almost unique in that it has almost no connection to the quest at all and is just a fantastic bit of character development at a scale rarely seen for the rest of the run.

MYTH: The 'Dark Knight' in Children's BBC's 'Incredible Games' was played by Mark Knight.

Heard this at the convention - apologies if the person who said it is reading this! It was a guy called Simon Shelton, who according to Wikipedia later played Tinky Winky from the Teletubbies of all things. I assumed at first that wasn't true and it's someone having a laugh, but enough outside evidence seems to back it up.