Here's one for you... how it would have looked had the Giant actually sneezed (Series 1, episode 2, I think)

Death by sneezing

Hey, I definitely wasn't around, and had never heard of NKTP, but I just found these links for anyone who's interested courtesy of The Wayback Machine.

4th December 2000

One quick look at the "Ask Andrew" section reveals this little gem:

"Q: Apparently all our TV and Radio signals are emitted into space. Does that mean therefore that if we build an incredibly fast space ship or contact some aliens we'll be able to watch all of Knightmare & 80's CITV in all it's glory legally?

A: By far the best Ask Andrew question I've heard so far. I asked one of the world's leading physicists, and he said "I dunno." I asked an armadillo, but he had no idea either. I decided to build a ship like the one you described and went into space - lo, you're right. I saw all of series 2. Gosh, wasn't it good??

That's my way of saying, uh, maybe, I dunno. But it's an interesting question, to say the least..."

LOL!

31 March 2001

29 September 2001

20 July 2002

29 November 2002

13 February 2003

All is gone now, save for a few snippets of information.

5 April 2003

A slight edit to remove an email address.

I knew there was something else....

The trial by spikes... shouldn't they have gone to the side before they went forward? Technically, it would have been possible to complete the puzzle without knowing the combination if the spikes are going to pop up as you pass over the correct square. Also technically, it would mean they stood on about 15 incorrect squares in the process. OK, it would have been evil to kill them as soon as they went forward, but Treguard, seeing as he interrupts so much anyway, could easily have let them know that they should find the right square first.

Where is Fidjit supposedly from?

His line "I don't fancy thee" seemed to indicate Lancashire, but I think he was trying to force a Yorkshire hint in there.

Regarding the quick death at the beginning of this episode, can I suggest that it was a hobgoblin? I mean, whatever it was was massive, and there was an abundance of Goblin Horns...

Which reminds me... you always hear Goblin horns, but you never actually see a Goblin carrying or using a horn!

Not as good as the last team, in my opinion. I'm sure we'll find out.

Well, that was actually quite a good episode!

This team seems smart, very confident (especially the advisor in the middle, Diane, is it?) and genuinely seem to be enjoying their quest.

A few points though...

1. Smirkenorf... how many legs does a Dragon have? I ask because as Smirkenorf takes off, he lifts his legs up to push off, where technically he should fall over.

2. FIRE EXTINGUISHER! If only an advisor had spotted it and told the dungeoneer to take it! For those who didn't notice, it was bang-slap in the middle (after the room where they take the divining rod) in the eye-shield scene.

3. LOVED the expression on Diane's face when she says "Sidestep left", Nicola sidesteps right, and she says "That's your right", it was almost in the style of Chandler from Friends!

4. The clue wasn't very clear about the second object to take. I mean, the divining rod was an obvious choice, but the choice between silver and nightsight was tough, although my instant reaction was to leave the silver behind. Let the records show that it was the blonde advisor who said "I think the silver will be more useful." Our survey said.... uh errrrr!

You know something, I wouldn't sell it either. Tempting though it might be.

BTW, regarding handhelds, I got a DS, and with swapping a few old PC games, I cut the price down a hell of a lot. Just find some you don't play anymore. The PSP sounds like it's going to be a rather poor portable gaming platform due to poor battery life in comparison to the GBASP and DS.

Off topic slightly, I know, but I'm trying to find you an alternative solution to selling your trophy!

All Knightmare is good. Some series are better than others. This one, so far, falls into the "others".

I know I enjoyed it back when it was first on TV, but now it was little more to me than an over-scripted play rather than the unpredictable game Knightmare was supposed to be.

The magic is there, just not as strong.

Any remake of Knightmare now needs to step further back in time than most of the later series, especially this one and series 8.

Well, I enjoyed MOST of the episode (and as I've said before, I felt later seasons lost the "feel" and downright scariness of previous seasons), but I didn't like the way the ending was brought in and executed in about 3 minutes, that plot should have been introduced somewhat earlier, maybe they just didn't want to risk Chris dying beforehand.

I also diskliked the way the team didn't get a send off, let's be honest, they deserved one, they were quick, intelligent and (as Wills of Doom said) assertive.

So, do you prefer a plotted ending or a "Phase Shift"?

Personally, I preferred the Phase Shift. It was somehow scarier!

Images have been edited to show just the links.

The forum FAQ is a very handy tool in learning how this forum works. It is advisable that people read it.

My apologies. I understand your reasons for implementing this rule, and appreciate that there are still some people stuck on dial-up.

I hope that this topic doesn't die due to this, I'm certainly working on a few more funnies (having a good laugh at nostalgia is one of the things in life I enjoy most), I hope no-one else is put off!

Turaga (nice name, btw), that's one mean corridor for a dungeoneer to be thrust into! Maybe that could have been used in a similar fashion to the super quick bomb rooms?

KnightmareDave, I'm working on an image of a "Cavernwrights" death, I was thinking they could get sucked up those trunks or something.

Weird... I've just been watching that episode, too...

Looked like Mave's team could have done really well, they were quite intelligent... apart from the taking ONE object... D'oh!

Here's a couple for you...

What was actually in the dark room that killed the first ever team...

http://www.lhmbb.com/fishsta/team1realdeath.jpg

And what should happen, even if just once, in those bomb rooms...

http://www.lhmbb.com/fishsta/bombroom.jpg

OK, I think I've worked out that "No Right Turn" scroll.

If you can imagine it, the dwarf tunnel is shaped as follows:

*
*/------------------------\
|                        |
|                        |
|                        |
|                        |
|        /------\        |
|        |      |        |
|        |      |        |
|        |      |        |
|        |      |        |
|        \------/        |
|                        |
|                        |
|       Stormgeist        |
|                        |
|                        |
|        /------\        |
|        |      |        |
|        |      |        |
|  Scroll|      |        |
|        |      |        |
|        |      |        |
|Entrance|      |  Exit  |
|        |      |        |

Now, technically, the only direction they can turn is right, but there's a turning before the "forced" turning. I expect if they'd have turned right there, they'd have come out right next to the exit, but gone straight into a Stormgeist, and probably died. So basically, they must not go through that particular section of corridor, hence "No Right Turn".

There's been many creatures and traps in Knightmare, some of which chalked up a few deaths, (Block and Tackle, Corridor of Blades, Goblins, Bomb rooms), and some that didn't get any (at least not that I remember)

What would you like to have seen?

I'd like to have seen the scorpion get someone, or one of the many hauntings (I know a Ghost got someone once, but what about the Pookas?)

The pendulum could have been good, too.

I reckon we should, as well as talking about it, perhaps work on a few mocked-up pics to show what we think they would have been like (and no, you can't just cover them up with a skull or something a la Sylvester Hands in series 6)

I'll try and submit a few when I'm back home on Thursday.

That had me in stitches... Pickle exclaims "Elf Boots" at the "Growing ring", and when the advisor repeats it Pickle gives her a look like "Where the hell did that come from?!?"

Good episode, though. Excellent for this stage of Knightmare, but only good if you consider all the series.

That was pretty good, basic, but good.

I would like to see more of that kind of thing. Might have a crack at doing one myself sometime. Been a long time since I did any programming or game making, so might take me a while....

Well done, go to the top of the class.

Eye for detail? I certainly spotted your Monty Python reference...

I've got a feeling we're going to get on pretty well, seems we have lots in common already, Bruce.

You could have Hugo Myatt enter one of those orange conference-style adverts. Hugo could be stating his interest in making a knightmare film where Lord Fear and him battle in a one-on-one fight.

Hugo starts talking, but is quickly interrupted:

"Its starts off when I pick up a dungeon spyglass..."

One of the guys from the executive Orange team interrupts with:

"who needs spyglasses now when you have mobile phones- you could phone him, or leave him a message on his voicemail!"

Hugo starts to worry:

"But you won't get a signal in the dungeon!"

Orange man:

"You don't have to set it in a dungeon- why not a city"

Another Orange man:

"Yeah the film could be renamed industrial knightmare!"

Rest of Orange team agree but Treguard walks off in a huff and bangs his head on the doorframe on his way out.

Orange man in background: "Oooooooh, that IS nasty"

Laugh.

My.

Buns.

Off.

Classic.

Six pints he had sunk,

Got to admit, that was probably one of the most violent (in reality) deaths on Knightmare EVER. I mean, he actually grabbed her and pulled her. When it's come to deaths involving the actors, usually we just miss the "fatal blow" e.g. the Goblins surround the dungeoneer, or Skarkill (check spelling) puts his irons on them without resistance, but here we actually had her back away from him and then get dragged back on screen.

I'm not sure Hands knew what to do, supposedly Goblins were supposed to come at the sound of the Goblin horn, but none appeared.... Looked like he had to think about it and decided they'd had enough chances to use the ring, and rather than wait for the Goblins he'll have a kill for himself.

Hello there... I've never been one to hang around with forums, so I'm going to do what I probably shouldn't and just jump in with both feet and see how that goes!

Huzzah! Nice to be a member of this forum! My memories of Knightmare go WAY back to when it first started, and, as a 25 year old, I'm of the general opinion that the show was never quite as scary as that first season, truly wonderful viewing, one of the finest things to ever grace TV in the history of... erm... TV.

Yes, even now, it still has an effect on me, watching what I can on Sunday mornings on Challenge. The later seasons that they show now just don't quite have the same impact, though there are some wonderful moments. I enjoy playing a little game at the moment called "Spot the Fire Extinguisher", where you must keep your eyes peeled and watch out for fire extinguishers in the rooms, especially when we are looking through the eye-shield. You'd be surprised how many you see around the ruins!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to contributing to these forums and bringing my own brand of humour to the proceedings... so now I shall turn, face the dungeon door... and step boldly forward. And all that malarky.