Jeez, that's whack, Jack. These cretins we would be soon without, if a Knightmare DVD were out.

Alas, tis I, I have returned - your hearts at my disappearance spurned! Has been a while, an age or two - so here I return, thus following through. To those of you of sharp intellect - my style of writing alters from what you recollect. For as a bard with the grace of god, my aim's to grant myself a rhyming sod!

The giant, er, scorpion-thingy from series 3, I think it was. that was blue...ish.

Boris "ha, ha, ha, richly comic i say i say I say" Johnson is a legend. Let it be sung throughout the ages.

Well, I can either sing Head Over Heels, Kung Fu Fighting, or Ernie the Fastest Milkman in the West here. But, my throat's sore from serenading so I will give it a rest just this once! It shall be a rare occurence!

Never played Head Over Heels myself, but I did play Monster Max at one stage, which is based on the exact same level structure and formula, dum-dee-dum-dee-dum.

"mmmbop/dudumdudumdum-dummmbop/dndndndnnn/bopdnbdnbd-ooooo/heeeyyyy-eeeaaah"

(Heathcliff ducks - nothing is thrown at him)

At last!! My music is appreciated!

(is hit in the face with an apple turnover)

Damn.

Ahaaaa, i would say it was halfway between a village and a town.

Welcome aboard TheDeanIsLost, I shall serenade you in as I do much of the time in the Knightmare Village/Town/Vicinity. I have chosen a particular favourite of mine from the period known as the 1980s, although it bears no resemblance to the situation I feel you will like it. Enjoy:

"Am I Living in a Box?/Am I Living in a Cardboard Box?/Am I Living In a Box!/Dabada-daa-dabanaanaanaanaa-naa-nanananer-dibble-wibble-dnooowwwn."

Thank you!

(Heathcliff is pelted by the various ingredients of a quiche)

That always happens. Welcome aboard.

Treguard of course.

It's a miracle/it's a mir-ac-le/it's a miracle/it's a mir-ac-ale/it's a miracle/it's a mir-ac-ale/'cause dreams/are/made of emotions...

"These are craaazy/craaaazy/craaaazy nights"

I recognise the signature, The Utterly splendid Heathcliff of 2040 (gasp). That's from one of my favourite episodes of that particular programme.

(Waits for someone to spill the beans).

Hehe!! What an episode that was!! Hee hee hee!! Copernicus! And an alien with a Birmingham accent called Keith.

"When you goooo will you send baaaack/a letter frooom/America/take a looook/at the railtrack/from Miami to Canada"

I am The Utterly Splendid Heathcliff of 2040, busker of the forums. This means therefore that I may break into song during any post.

"ba na na ba da ba na bowww/ba na na nana bowww/ba na na na naaa, na na, na naa/ba na na na nana naa naa nana naa naa na na now now neeeooow."

That was Gerry Rafferty's Baker Street.

What's your favourite animal?

What's your favourite colour?

Who's your favourite dead Celebrity?

Flying Fox, Ultramarine, Barry White

"It's a cruel, cruel summer/leaving me here on my own it's a cruel/it's a cruel/cruel summer"

I have the feeling FIVE would be rather unwilling to comit to KM, with the costs etc  They prefer to settle on cheap soaps and a selection of b-movies.

Although they did "buy" robot wars from bbc2. I think they'd be stupid to pass the chance of showing a new series of KM. As everyone on these forums would think. Wibble, wibble. Goodbye.

Ye can call me Heathcliff, or Heath, or Cliff, or 2040, or Twenty, or Forty, or Sir Cliff of the Heath, whatever. Glad to be inducted into the world of Knightmare chat.

Madness, madness I tell yers!

EEEHEEEHEEEHEEHEEEE!

I must go now. My planet needs me.

Me and Skarkill are old comrades...

Hello to you all! I have finally made my way onto the Knightmare discussion boards. Heard of the boards from Big Daddy Cool, who is a fellow user of the MeTV forums. Look forward to discussing Knightmare matters with you all!

Hehe! Scrolling marquees - excellent!