And another:

Said Skarkill to Hands, "Do you think...

In my view, the poem must rhyme and scan properly, and the English language may be mutilated in the alteration of words stress, spelling and/or pronunciation to see that it does. Examples:

"Her English is too good," he said, "which clearly indicates that she is foreign.

Whereas others are instructed in their native language, English people aren'."

• Alan Jay Lerner, My Fair Lady

If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er,

Tell her what Tony told Cleopatara.

• Cole Porter, Kiss Me, Kate

It's a scheme of devices, to get at low prices all goods from cough mixtures to cables

(Which tickled the sailors), by treating retailers as though they were all vegetables.

• W. S. Gilbert, Iolanthe

Anyway:

Said Lillith, "Good gracious!"

Jolly good! Not sure about the article's last sentence, though (cf. http://www.knightmare.com/history/index4.htm).

No great loss by now.

Romahna didn't say Smirkenorff was the last dragon, just that he was the last Great Crested Green.

Grimaldine, when being of the Grey,

She wasn't best pleased

The music often used round about series six in moments of immediate deadly peril to the dungeoneer did a lot to make such situations frightening when I was six or seven years old.

No contest: Barry, Simon, Derek and Daniel. The most amusing team, the best interaction, the best banter and as deserving of victory as any of the other winners.

Not being a mind-reader I can't be sure, and perhaps he'll correct me, but I don't think such changes would have washed with Mr. Child. Had they been demanded by the ITV top brass he'd have walked out or replaced the show with some inferior equivalent of Virtually Impossible.

It didn't. I only watched from half-way through series six onwards on CITV (I was fourteen months old in September 1987) and it never struck me as any worse on the whole. Now that I've seen them all I'd say the worst series was the fourth, largely because Treguard's lines were, bizarrely, identical for each quest, but that the next was better than any that had gone before, the sixth better still.

The "Go!" square could be Knightmare Castle or the Antechamber.

The purple pair, naturally, should be Dunshelm and Knightmare Castle. The green, Mount Fear, Goth and Marblehead. Income Tax and Super Tax, "Boatman Demands Gold/Silver". The stations, the Dunswater Ferry, Smirkenorff, the Descender and the Well.

It is at least in a coma; this is partly my fault (in as much as I was involved in the last active storyline, and also a moderator). Sorry. At that stage I simply didn't have time.

in pace requiescat.

We shall hold a forty-one-fireball salute.

The clue-object table housed a mince pie, which duly went in the knapsack, a sprig of holly, an approximately cubic box wrapped in colourful paper and shiny ribbon, and what looked like a letter, as well as the tradition scroll. The latter Treguard took and read aloud:

"Take not the pair but its fallen and that bound by his doom's driving force."

"What in the levels does that mean, master?" said Pickle. Majida considered this for a moment before tossing her head in frustration; she got as far as "It's too d-" before Pickle found his hand unaccountably muffling her voice.

Treguard, meanwhile, examined the other piece of paper, recognising Merlin's handwriting and quietly voicing his words:

"Dear all,

Well, what a year it's been! As you can expect, things have mostly been as dull as ever in the Dungeon, but after careful plotting have I got some big news for y- Oh, good grief," he interrupted himself as the penny slowly dropped.

"What is it, master."

"It's a round robin."

"And this is a dead one," said Pickle, beginning to understand. "So let's not take both - just the 'fallen' one. Well, we have. But what about 'that bound by his doom'?"

"Think, you silly sprite. The scroll says the bird's male, which makes close inspection mercifully unnecessary. Now, who killed Cock Robin?"

"The sparrow, bu-"

"With?"

"A bow and arrow, bu-"

"And with what type of knot is it traditional to tie the ribbon around Christmas presents, this one being no exception?"

The others' pennies, whose slow descents had ceased, now completed them in an instant. Taking corpse and (still wrapped) present, they continued on their way.

Meanwhile the headphone-wearing woman was staring into a two-way spyglass. "Yes, your wizardry," she said. "I think he's falling for it."

Given the number of expressions and, indeed, words coined by Shakespeare, it's difficult not to quote him. I wouldn't be surprised to discover that I haven't managed it in this very post.

Could you not perhaps let us vote as we please instead of arbitrarily restricting us to five choices in each category?

The Dunswater's chilly and deep

For ill-gotten pelf hath