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Treguard and Lord Fear talking

Jester's Corner

For all the comedians out there.

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Jester's Corner

490 Topics 4,101 Posts

For all the comedians out there.

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  • D

    Little Scaramongers

    Drassil
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    MMoanaLiza
    Looks for name books for common/popular names and unusual ones Jordan Joshua Julius II Jonathon James Jack Jaydn Jake Jared Julio Jarvis Jason Javier Joelle Johan Jolyon Josceline Josephine Juanita Julianne Justine (and a good one maybe not for Julius though) Justus Those are a few I have chosen out of my book, although I can't imagine him having quite that many though!
  • D

    Knightmare production meetings

    Drassil
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    DDrassil
    Very good. I can only imagine what the never-actually-seen Count Brinkatore would be like if he ever appeared. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah... ...But now, more Scenes From Knightmare Production Meetings: [Pre-Series 4.] A: ...And then Merlin delivers the line, 'you do want to be home in time for Christmas, don't you boys?' The Series ends on a festive high. Sensational and touching. B: There is no way we're doing that! It's intolerable! Horrible idea! They'll be complaining about it for years to come. Absolutely not. Insulting. I'm afraid there's no way we're agreeing to that. A: Gentlemen, there is a small incendiary device planted under this table... B: Excellent, a festive high, perfect. Wish I'd thought of it. Love it. You're a star. A: A Life Force Face? Nooo. Another year of the Walking Man? I think not. We need something groundbreaking, simple, reeking of freshness, something that screams from the rooftops of the importance of Life Force. And here it is: A Life Force Cake! [The others start to protest. A. holds up a hypnotist's pendant, and swings it. They all grin and nod in unison.]
  • ?

    Knightmare meets The Matrix

    Lord_Bob
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    ?Guest
    Merlin still in shades and leather is showing Barry the dungeon Merlin: You see Barry the dungeon is a simulation program designed to turn a heroic quest into this.. indicates a T.V set in which Knightmare is beginning Barry: Nooooooooooooo
  • M

    What would they have said?

    MoanaLiza
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    ?Guest
    Casper The Door Knocker: Hello, yes well after KM finished I was kidnapped at an autograph signing, I was taken to a blacksmiths and turned into this doorknocker. I assume from this I had an obsessive fan following and the poor dears didn't want to see me put into diss use, I mean I can't help but feel a bit sad now KM was over. As soon as my time on the show was over then it was just so boring. I watched it a bit and EVERY door was open and those that weren't had normal keys   I mean who doesn't want a talking key... Casper's voice is silence as someone raps him very hard against the door in the hope to be let in.
  • D

    Knightmare meets Bill & Ted

    Drassil
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    HStormHHStorm
    Ted:  This is most heinous! We're, like, dead. Treguard:  Indeed you are. And that means... Spellcasting... P-I-S-S-O-F-F...
  • D

    Open Mic Night at the Crazed Heifer

    Drassil
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    DDrassil
    (Well, the last KM book, Lord Fear's Domain, does essentially make Shakespeare a Knightmare character. If you treat that as canon, then Shakespeare could quite easily be acquainted with Mrs. G., without the need for time travel. )
  • D

    Knightmare meets The Simpsons

    Drassil
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    DDrassil
    [Homer Simpson is sitting at home, watching the final episode of Series 6 of Knightmare.] Lord Fear: 'We'll be back, bigger, bolder, badder and better equipped.' Homer: 'Woo hoo!' Lord Fear: 'And as for your dungeoneers, GOBLIN FODDER.' Homer: 'Mmm... goblin fodder.'
  • D

    Knightmare meets Captain Planet

    Drassil
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    KKing_Gazz
    Cheers mate
  • M

    The Knightmare Benny hill line

    Moocowthingy
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    JamesAJJamesA
    Hordriss sets his Magic Sword amongst the chase....
  • F

    Knightmare meets James Pond

    Fidjit
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    JamesAJJamesA
    JULIUS SCARAMONGER MAKES HUGE PROFIT BY STILTON CHEESE TRADE "Finally, My mines are operational. With this high grade processed cheese I will corner the global markets and the dungeon will be at my mercy..." (Don't ask why I wrote it. It was just a bit of fun and is totally the opposite to Julius Scaramonger) **Knightmare Series Chapter III - A new hope** It is with great unrest throughout the worlds cheese trade. F.I.S.H rockets striking from a lunar base are shipping moon cheese back to earth. Sold at amazing cut prices the stunning stilton dominated the market. All the benefit bought back to his evil producer. Persued by sinister enemy knights. Treguard must once again thwart the evil Julius Scaramonger and restore freedom to the dungeon and galaxy... How's that..? Does it look good?  ;D Knightmare Series: Chapter III - A new hope.... It is with great unrest throughout the worlds cheese trade. F.I.S.H rockets striking from a lunar base are shipping moon cheese back to earth. Sold at amazing cut prices the stunning stilton dominated the market. All the benefit bought back to his evil producer. Persued by sinister enemy knights, Treguard must once again thwart the evil Julius Scaramonger and restore freedom to the dungeon and galaxy... Any better?  ;D
  • D

    Knightmare meets Animal Hospital

    Drassil
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    DDrassil
    (By the way, I'm fully aware of the overlapping timelines of KM and Fun house. I just choose to ignore them) No problem. It's still amusing!  ;D Rolf Harris (again): 'G'day, and welcome to another Animal Hospital. And today, we've got a real treat for you: not one, but two cats. Here with their owner, Mogdred.' Mogdred: 'Look upon-' Rolf: 'Yeah, nice to meet you, mate. Now, these big black cats, which are standing either side of me, haven't miaowed, eaten, or even moved on their own, since 1989! Streuth!' [one of the cats shoots an energy beam at Rolf, vaporising him.] Mogdred: 'I call them the Moggies of Dread. Ha ha ha ha!!' Lord Fear [annoyed, standing off-camera with Lissard on a leash]: Look, does this mean I don't get to go on?' Well, there are even more Knightmare Animal Hospital possibilities; if you can think of them, feel free to post them before I do!  
  • E

    We Three Advisors

    Emii
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    ?Guest
    excellent!
  • SkarkillS

    The 12 KM Days Of Christmas.

    Skarkill
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    HStormHHStorm
    Nyah nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah! No triumphalism here.
  • HStormH

    Knightmare Jingle Bells

    HStorm
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    EEmii
    Aw...I was hoping for an interactive thing...never mind
  • D

    Knightmare meets Countdown

    Drassil
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    JamesAJJamesA
    One there for Zagor, perhaps?   Yeah.... ha ha ha.... very funny  ::) (Although that scenario would indeed be very funny)
  • M

    KM company?

    MoanaLiza
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    JamesAJJamesA
    And if Lissard put off all the customers with his "tuna breath" the place would be reported to the Trading Standards Authority
  • E

    KM SONG

    Emii
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    EEmii
    Run away before he sees us Run away before he sees us Run away before he sees us Early in the dungeon What do we do with a Goblin Horn What do we do with a Goblin Horn What do we do with a Goblin Horn Early in the dungeon Blow it at Skarkill till he claps 'em on you Blow it at Skarkill till he claps 'em on you Blow it at Skarkill till he claps 'em on you Early in the dungeon [Now go back up to Dunshelm's verse and if it is to be carried on, change "put him down the wellway" to "early in the dungeon" - Welcome, Dunshelm btw!]
  • E

    KM Bonfire song/poem

    Emii
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    EEmii
    I love that! It could go in with the other KM songs...but bang ogoes my idea of an interactive song, lol!
  • F

    Bonfire Party...

    Fidjit
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    FFidjit
    Probably hearing Festus bark would probably kill me... It sort of shatters my spine... Literally...
  • G

    The Grimwold Guide to Dungeon Survival

    GrimaldineGrimwold
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    LLowebo
    51: always be kind to animals, especially those with three heads. they need a lot of TLC. If you see a minecart or well, don't go near it - do you know where it will take you?? If you ever see a weapon, take it - you need some form of defence surely? - Failing that, charge at people like a bull with the horns on the helmet! All people with beards except Vegetarians are evil - fact. Why take healthy food like fruits and breads?? Look for the burgers! If you were meant to complete the quest, why have only 8 done so?? All talking monsters can be scared off with the use of the incorrect answer. Dont save anyone - after all, what have they done for you? on causeways always go up in number - 1,2,3,4 etc not silly combinations like 2,5,1,5! All elves lie. Goblins don't.