Musical Parody

Finally, my favourite ever slushy song gets messed up by me! [be my baby by the Ronettes] The trader we've met knows we need this spell so And if he has the chance he'll never let it go So why don't you hand over that money It'll turn you so invisably It'll make 'em strain their necks In the rooms we go So won't you please Come on now please, buy it, buy it swiftly We really need it - do some good bargaining Come on now please, buy it, buy it swiftly Get it without delay...Ooh, ohh, ohh, oh It'll be good for you, trust me Just wait and see Every step you take my way Will get you to level three Oh, since Treguard saw you I have been guiding for you You know I will support you Till our victory So won't you please Come on now please, buy it, buy it swiftly We really need it - do some good bargaining Come on now please, buy it, buy it swiftly Get it without delay...Ooh, ohh, ohh, oh

Hehe I'd love to see him doing that number and here's another one with Treguard despairing with a hint of optimism at the end. [based upon 'Trouble in Paradise' by The Crests] Calling all Brave-ones, calling all Brave-ones, calling all brave-ones oo---ou There's trouble in Dunshelm My dungeoneers just aren't winning There's trouble in Dunshelm Fears already been gloating Some trader told Hordriss a lot of lies so now my teams are falling From causeways like a pack of flies There's trouble in Dunshelm Quest-items're no longer mine There's trouble in Dunshelm Hordriss did you have to re-align? They told him I'd taken sidriss' virtue Come on I wouldn't want her, please; She wouldn't know what to do! Mr. Motley, Mr. Ridolfo Tell him I never touched her so If needed put up a fight The Powers that Be need putting right. There's trouble in Dunshelm the Dungeon's not the same The watchers sit & cry They say it's such a shame They'd like our tvshow to be on like before Then the trouble in Dunshelm will be no more...

Treguard suffers a loss of confidence, due to the Dungeon's mortality rate. Based upon I Don't Like Mondays by the Boomtown Rats. Thank you to Darren for suggesting this one. The magical staff beside his chair Gets switched to overload And nobody's gonna do a quest today If they get in he spellcasts HOME And Pickle doesn't understand it Although he knows that Treguard's getting old And he can see no reason 'Cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to be shown? Tell me why I don't like Fridays It's because They're 'kids might die' days Blocks or blades Or spells or causeways I want to shut The whole Dungeon The dank viewing pool makes Fear feel cool As he speaks to a waiting world And Pickle feels so shocked Treguard's world is rocked And their thoughts turn to The boys and the girls 8 to 14 ain't so peachy keen No, it ain't so neat to admit defeat They can see no reasons 'Cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to be shown? Tell me why I don't like Fridays It's because They're 'kids might die' days Blocks or blades Or spells or causeways I want to shut The Dungeon down All the playing's stopped in the Dungeon now He wants to polish his sword awhile And school's out early and soon we'll be learning And the lesson today is how to die And then the fire crackles And Morghanna cackles With the problems and the hows and whys And he can see no reasons 'Cause there are no reasons What reason do you need to die? Tell me why I don't like Fridays It's because They're 'kids might die' days Blocks or blades Or spells or causeways I want to shut The whole Dungeon...

You Don't Have To Spellcast for me! When I said I wanted you, You said you wouldn't get in my way. It wasn't me who quested but you, And now Sir Hugh's gone astray. Don't you see that now Treguards gone, That we're left here on our own. That we have things to see through, And somehow find our way home. You don't have to spellcast for me, just avoid the quicksand. I don't want to stay forever, I hope you understand. Believe me, believe me, I don't need that help from you, But believe me, Sly'll never tie us down. Left alone with just a red key, The Dungeon seems dead and so unreal. All that's left is loneliness, There's nothing left to feel. You don't have to spellcast for me, just avoid the quicksand. I don't want to stay forever, I hope you understand. Believe me, believe me... You don't have to spellcast for me, just avoid the quicksand. I don't want to stay forever, I hope you understand. Believe me, believe me...

[Changed from 'I don't know how to love him'] I don't know how to guide him I don't know how to guide him, What to do, how to move him. he's been changed, yes, really changed. In these past few rooms when I've seen him He smell's like a goblin. I don't know how to take this I don't see why he moves me. He's a dungeoneer, he's just a dungeoneer. And I've helped so many questers before In very many ways: He's just one more Should I shout him down? Should I shake and shout? Should I speak of magic - let my spells all out? I never thought I'd come to this - what's it all about? Don't you think it's rather funny It's not been the opposition.. that's changed my demeanour from bein' So calm, so cool, no villian's fool Moving so slow It scares me so. I never thought I'd come to this - what's it all about Yet, once he said he'd reject me He had lost, and was frightened. The team couldn't cope, just couldn't cope. Pickle turned his head, he backed away, He didn't want to know - I've scared him so. I wanted him to. I must go...

More Gilbert and Sullivan at last, this time from HMS Pinafore (and not a patter song); original lyrics and MIDI at http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/pinafore/web_opera/pin04.html. CAPTAIN:   I am the Captain of the Cloudwalker! CREW:   And a right good captain too! CAPTAIN:   You’re very, very good:    At last I’ve understood    That a ship requires a crew. CREW:   We’ve very, very good:    At last he’s understood    That a ship requires a crew. CAPTAIN:   I cannot abide Lord Fear.    I can skilfully steer –    No jelly-legged babe!    I’m always blessed with wind    Of a favourable kind,    For I’ve never lost my astrolabe! CREW:   What, never? CAPTAIN:   No, never! CREW:   What, never? CAPTAIN:   Hardly ever! CREW:   Hardly ever lost his astrolabe!    Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,    For the very careful Captain Nemanor!    Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,    For the careful Captain Nemanor! CAPTAIN:   I do my best to keep all strangers off – CREW:   And with that we’re quite content. CAPTAIN:   But if they are quite polite,    Then I think it only right    To return the compliment. CREW:   But if they are quite polite,    Then he thinks it only right    To return the compliment. CAPTAIN:   Within the Game’s domain    I constantly maintain    My strict impartiality,    So, though Lord Fear incense    Me to a rage intense,    I never aid the Pow’rs That Be – CREW:   What, never? CAPTAIN:   No, never! CREW:   What, never? CAPTAIN:   Hardly ever! CREW:   Hardly ever aids the Pow’rs That Be –    Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,    For the staunchly neutral Captain Nemanor!    Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,    For the neutral Captain Nemanor!

What's the matter with the items I'm carrying? "Can't you tell that you needed the nightsight?" Maybe I should buy some old fireball brandy? "Welcome back to the age of adventure. What have you been spellcastin' lately, honey? You can't dispel sorcery till you spend a lot of money." Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new quests Funny, but it's still Truth and Justice to me. What's the matter with the helmet I'm wearing? "Can't you tell that it's out of style?" Should I get an eye shield matchin'? "Are you gonna change your style? Nowadays you can't be too sentimental You best bet's a good ol' pony tail Continental." Insight, Nightsight, even if it's the powdered sh**e It's still Truth and Justice to me. Oh, it doesn't matter what they say in the scrolls 'Cause it's still the same dungeon scene. There's a new maid in town, the levels still go down But you can't get the quest item just from a scheme... Thought out by your average team How about a nice little key And a really bright red firestone? "You could really be a dungeon champion baby If you just stay true to the code. Don't waste your money on an invisable sword, You get more mileage from a cheap blocker password." Next phase, new shift, troll craze, anyways It's still Truth and Justice to me. What's a matter with the view I'm seeing? "Don't you know that spyglasses are out of touch?" Should I try to be Hordriss' top student? "If you are then you know too much. Don't you know about the new baddies laddie? All you need are dance spells and a whole potta honey." It's the next phase, new shift, troll craze, anyways It's still Truth and Justice to me. Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new quests Funny, but it's still Truth and Justice to me. (original song; It's still Rock and Roll to me)

Here's a km version of the classic Phil Collins 'you can't hurry love' I need, spells Ooh, ease my mind And I need to find time Someone to call mine; Merlin said You can’t hurry spells No, you’ll just have to wait He said spells don’t come easy But it’s a game of give and take You can’t hurry spells No, you’ll just have to wait Just trust in a good mage No matter how long it takes How many spell breaks must I stand Before I find the spell to let me live again Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on When I feel my life force, ooh, it’s almost gone I remember merlin said You can’t hurry spells No you’ll just have to wait He said spells don’t come easy It’s a game of give and take How long must I wait How much more must I take Before lack of life force Will cause my heart, heart to break No, I cant bear to live my life alone I grow impatient for a spell to call my own But when I feel that i, I can’t go on Well these precious letters keep me hanging on I remember merlin said You can’t hurry spells, you’ll just have to wait He said spells don’t come easy Well, it’s a game of give and take You can’t hurry spells No, you’ll just have to wait Just trust in a good mage No matter how long it takes, now spellcast!

A Lou Reed effort this time, with Hordriss singing about his favourite subject: Himself. Just a perfect Mage. Use magic perfectly in the dark, And then later, for a lark, We go "Ni!". Just a perfect mage, Help dungeoneers in level two, Then later, I test them, too, And then "Ni!". Oh One's such a perfect Mage, One assures you, One's better than you. Oh such a perfect mage, You just can't compare to One, You just can't compare to One. Just a perfect mage, No problems, One's far too great, leave dungeoneers to their fate. It's such fun. Just a perfect mage, One really does love Onesself. Guarranteed, there's no one else, who's as good. Oh One's such a perfect mage, One assures you One's better than you. Oh such a perfect mage, You just can't compare to One, You just can't compare to One.

I know i was wrong for advising you the way i did (the way i did) I've had so much on my mind I didn't know where the gemstone fit in (where it fit in) and if i could do it all over again (again) i'll never advise you that way (i'll never advise you that way again) I apologise for the pain that i caused and i just wanna say (i just wanna say) I'm sorry (i'm sorry) so sorry (so sorry) for advising you the way i did (i didn't mean it honestly) i'm sorry (i'm sorry) so sorry (so sorry) for killing you the way i did when i close my eyes i think of you on level three (on level three) that's when i summised that firestone was meant for Smirky (was meant for Smirky) Instead the gem was Elita's need (Elita's need) I got it so wrong and you had to die (so wrong that you had to die) Then I watched your lifeforce slip away (away) when i knew i needed you to survive (needed you to survive) I'm sorry (i'm sorry) so sorry (so sorry) for advising you the way i did (i didn't mean it honestly) i'm sorry (i'm sorry) so sorry (so sorry) for killing you the way i did and i know everytime (everytime) everytime i guided you right (so right) you still gave up your quest beacuse of me (because of me) i'll do anything to get you back to life i need to guide you again (guide you) instruct you again (instruct you) give commands to you (command you) but we can do it again (to you) listen to me (listen to me) i've sent in the application thingys (application thingys) can we quest all over again (can we start over) i'm sorry (i'm sorry) so sorry (so sorry) for advising you the way i did (i didn't mean to kill you Sarah) i'm sorry (i'm sorry) so sorry (so so sorry) for leading you the way i did you gotta believe me when i say that i'm sorry (so sorry) so sorry for advising you (for advising you the way i did) I can never never never hurt you again i'm sorry (so sorry) for killing you ( for killing you the way i did) i'm sorry Sarah

[Moved, as requested, on 31.5.05 at 23:23. The five posts before this one, in this thread, were originally a separate thread in the General section but are now merged with this one. ]

Based on: Streets of London by Ralph McTell Official audio Have you seen the old man in the stocks all locked up, Crying out for pity with worn out voice? You can see he doesn't know, he lost his marbles long ago, Yesterday’s wizard giving yesterday’s choice. So how can you tell me you’re lonely And say for you that the sun don’t shine? Let me fit you with a helm and guide you though the Knightmare Dungeon, I’ll show you something to make you change your mind. Have you seen the old crone within the Knightmare Dungeon, Dirt up her nose and her clothes in rags? She’s no time for walking, she just keeps right on squawking, Carrying fake maps and dressed up in drag. So how can you tell me you’re lonely And say for you that the sun don’t shine? Let me fit you with a helm and guide you though the Knightmare Dungeon, I’ll show you something to make you change your mind. In the dingy throne room somewhere on the second Level, Same old man sitting there with a groan, Meets a dungeoneer, so he tries to raise their Life Force, Each VIM lasts an hour, and he acts as if he's stoned. So how can you tell me you’re lonely And say for you that the sun don’t shine? Let me fit you with a helm and guide you though the Knightmare Dungeon, I’ll show you something to make you change your mind. Have you seen the old man outside the murky sewers, Magic fading like the red robes that he wears? After six long series, he's not a threat like Fear is, He's one more forgotten menace with a head of streaky hair. So how can you tell me you’re lonely And say for you that the sun don’t shine? Let me fit you with a helm and guide you though the Knightmare Dungeon, I’ll show you something to make you change your mind.

Another Queen effort, though not a whole song as I couldn't think of decent enough lyrics, but this is what I DID get done. Original lyrics at www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Arena/4268/ Every Dungeoneer that falls in the Corridor of Blades just says it all It's a miracle All Tim's creations great and small The Dreadnort, Lissard, the Trolls an’ all That's a miracle Great big bomb rooms blowing up Dungeoneers on a quest for the cup It's a miracle We're having a miracle on earth Virtual Reality does it all for us The wonders of the game go on The Dungeoneers all on the run Friendly monsters and a free clue table Hugo Myatt’s voice in Fable It's a miracle it's a miracle it's a miracle It's a miracle

I couln't find the lyrics... but I did find a link to the video: http://www.apocalyptica.com/media/videos.php Life Burns by Apocalyptica and Lauri Ylönen. A word of warning, after I wrote this I've got it playing in my head over and over again... Lord Fear has just defeated a dungeneer with a fireball and is so happy he starts to sing: I brake my enemies with fear And I've seen the tears come around I've built my confidence on wasteland I've seen how the dungeneers fall A dungeneer dies like a butterfly Life burns at the touch of a fireball I must always win One sidestep left is a fatal mistake The dungeons lies in the hands of evil And I'm going to make sure it lasts Life burns! I have no sympathy for them I've chosen the path of fear I defeat them with ease And teach them to fear me A dungeneer dies like a butterfly Life burns at the touch of a fireball I must always win One sidestep left is a fatal mistake The dungeons lies in the hands of evil And I'm going to make sure it lasts Life burns! the dungeon lies in the hands of evil the dungeon... And I'm going to make sure it lats

A lament on behalf of the likes of Olaf and Fatilla, who were replaced by the likes of blockers and the Dreadnort. Based on Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles. I saw you on the TV before '92 Staying awake to guard the way to Level Two If they were young you'd try to stop them getting through (Oh oh) They took your weapons and your imbecility Replaced you with machines and new technology And now I understand the problems you can see (Oh oh) I met with Tim Child (Oh oh) What did you tell him? CGI killed the Level One guard CGI killed the Level One guard Blockers came and broke your heart (Oh oh oh oh oh)...

Based on: Making Your Mind Up by Bucks Fizz. Official video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4-lKMGII_k You gotta speed it up, and then you gotta slow it down Coz if you believe that your team can reach the end You gotta walk around But soon you will find that there comes a time For filling your knapsack You gotta spot some food, and then you gotta stay the course You gotta be sure that it's something you can use to Build up your Life Force Before you decide that the times arrived For filling your knapsack Don't let your indecision, take you from behind Trust advisers' vision, do let others guide your mind And then you really gotta turn to left And take another sidestep right Get some clues from the clue room and take a chance So you can be a knight And when you can see how it's gotta be You're filling your knapsack And try to look as if you don't care less But if you want to eat some more Knowing the rules of the game Will let you find the food you're looking for And then you can show that you think you know You're filling your knapsack Don't let your indecision, take you from behind Trust advisers' vision, do let others guide your mind And now you really gotta speed it up, and then you gotta slow it down Coz if you believe that our love can hit the top You gotta play around But soon you will find that there comes a time For filling your knapsack

Questions his sanity.... I know this is only the chorus of a song but I had it stuck in my head last night... Brolla Brolla Brolla Brolla Brolla Chan You come and go YOu come and go Loving would be easy If your colours were like my dream Red, gold and green Red, gold and green

Based on Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen from the film Dirty Dancing, later performed by Stewie in Family Guy. Music video I've been meaning to tell you I've got this feeling that won't subside I look at them and I fantasise They glare and bite But they don't, you'll be alright, they're just Floating skulls They stay too long and they're really quite dull, they are Floating skulls They never led to a dungeoneer cull I want to tell you, so hear me out Skulls won't infect you with herpes or gout Step to the right They're no better than small kites, they're just Floating skulls They stay too long and they're really quite dull, they are Floating skulls They never led to a dungeoneer cull Floating skulls Do not fear the threat is null with these Floating skulls Now did they catch you in a lull? I need you to see They hardly ought to be Floating skulls They stay too long and they're really quite dull, they are Floating skulls They never led to a dungeoneer cull Floating skulls Do not fear the threat is null with these Floating skulls Now did they catch you in a lull? Floating skulls Floating skulls I couldn't bring myself to rework the whole of this song: These Words by Natasha Bedingfield. Music video Gundrada sings about her armoury: Drew some swords together And a dagger G-U-T Is who I am, is what I do No one’s gonna slay it down for you Try to focus my attention But I got no V-I-M I'm in the stocks, I need salvation (But it’s not coming easily) Whoah oh Trying to beat the magic Trying to look so drastic Don’t you know, don’t you know, don’t you know? Dungeon full of goblins Chopped their legs, now they're hobbling These swords are my own From the hilt known I'll 'ave you, I'll 'ave you, I'll 'ave you, I'll 'ave you There’s no other way To better say I'll 'ave you, I'll 'ave you...

Oh, by all means go ahead, just don't expect me to understand the reference. And by "issues" I mean hearing their 'songs' tends to make me want to run away with my hands over my ears. Though I can tolerate We Will Rock You in small doses.

That's the second reworking of Time Warp this thread has seen! Prior to going on Knightmare, a team discusses a direction strategy that is distinctly untraditional. It's based on the lyrics of the Pet Shop Boys' version of Go West, but with due credit to the Village People, here is the video for their earlier version. (Together) We will find our way (Together) We will win someday (Together) Pencils in our hands (Together) We will make our plans (Together) We will fly so high (Providing) That a dragon’s nigh (Together) We’ll pass Level Two (Together) This is what we'll do (Go left) Life is peaceful there (Go left) While we’re on Knightmare (Go left) Where the screens are blue (Go left) This is what we're gonna do (Together) We will love the woods (Together) We will trade for goods (Together) We’ll find food for life (Together) We will work and strive (I trust you) I know you trust me (I need you) How could I disagree? (So that's why) I make no protest (When you say) You will win the quest (Go left) Life is peaceful there (Go left) While we’re on Knightmare (Go left) Team of one plus three (Go left) This is our destiny (Go left) Fun in wintertime (Go left) We will do just fine (Go left) Where the screens are blue (Go left, this is what we're gonna do) Right down to Level Three We'll be (We'll be) what we want to be (Aah aah aah aah) Now if we head on down We'll find (We'll find) our promised crown (I know that) There are many doors (To go through) And pass holes in floors (Together) We will find a route (To follow) Plus we’ll pick up fruit (Without rush) And the pace back right (The hustling) And the need to fight (I know I'm) Ready to quest too (So that's what) We are gonna do...