Celebrity Knightmare ?
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hmm yes, corridor of blades...
Oooooh nasty would have a whole new meaning...
Perhaps a naked Knighmare should be commisioned, I'm sure channel 5 would buy it, especially if Cheggers presented it!
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Hmmm.....Cheguard.....
But if we wanted to keep the original 11-16 rule, why not get rid of Charlotte Church and Daniel Radcliffe, the youngest entries in 100 Worst britons and rightfully so!
Actually Daniel Radcliffe wasn't in it, but his alter ego Master Potter was....well they have the same birthday - they're the same person.
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Ann Robinson - Minced to pieces in Corridor of Blades complete with red paint on camera lens. "Your remarks were always cutting, but the Blades were just a cut above."
Celine Dion - Let a magic sword sap her life force like her music saps mine.
Judith Chalmers - Burned to a crisp by Bhal-Shebah. I don't particularly dislike her- it's just the only way her brightly sunburnt face could ever get any redder.
Too soon since the last time we did this to offer my Jamie Oliver/Goblin remark again without people noticing me copying my own jokes. sigh
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Quite happy i have started CoB as a shorthand!! (i think anyway!)
Iain Duncan-Smith - sidestep left type death: If you can't trust your aides, you can't trust anyone.
Jordan: Trial By Spikes - The spikes didnt kill you, your boobs were in the way.
Fred Durst: MineCart!! - Keep rollin' rollin' rollin'...
Jonah Lomu: Block & Tackle - finally, he was tackled...
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Iain Duncan-Smith - sidestep left type death: If you can't trust your aides, you can't trust anyone.
Hehe, I like that. Alternatively, all his advisors are saying "You'll have to move to your left if you want to win!" but old IDS keeps sidestepping to the right- that's what Lady Thatcher did when she conquered the dungeon, so he thinks it'll work in any circumstance.
Delia Smith - Dies in Mildread's Cauldron. " Are you sure you want bats wings in here, Mildread? Thyme would be slightly more conventional..."
Edward Tudor Pole - Tries to cosmic handshake Snapper Jack and gets bitten by the Glove Puppet of Pure Evil.
David Dickinson - Life force runs out as he spends ages talking to camera describing the clue objects in the Level 1 Clue Room. "Oooh, now this horn, lovely craftsmanship, that's got to be a bobby dazzler. I think the glove's a duffer."
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Bobby Davro, Keith Chegwin, in a really long and slow death, preferably by a professional like Fear or a frightknight!
Paul Daniels, I want him to die in a magical duel with Mogdread, out of which when Daniels is dead, Mogdread turns to the camera and says "Well I dont know about you, but I liked that............I liked that a lot, mwha ha ha agh aha ha aha ha aha !"
Timmy Mallet by a huge gigatic sledge hammer falling on top of his head, out of which the dungeon calls out, "Now you dont like it when it happens to you, do you!"
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Following along the David Blaine lines...
Derren Brown being eaten by a wall blocker cause he failed to make a psychological connection with it, thus guessing the wrong password.
(Well, if the whole Russian roulette thing didn't manage to bump him off only good ol' Knightmare can provide the perfect means) I am sooo evil
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Paul Daniels, I want him to die in a magical duel with Mogdread, out of which when Daniels is dead, Mogdread turns to the camera and says "Well I dont know about you, but I liked that............I liked that a lot, mwha ha ha agh aha ha aha ha aha !"
That's magic...
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If there was ever a celebrity Knightmare,which celebrities would you like to see do it and what would they be like on it?
Ozzy Osbourne: Why did you put this ****ing helmet on my head? Do you want me to crash into a ****ing wall or something?
David Dickinson: Wow! You three may want to take the gem of power, but this antique lamp is a right bobby dazzler!
Linda Barker: The colours in this dungeon are very drab and dull, I think a splash of paint here could do nicely. (Paints walls). I think that works really well!
Gareth Gates: Spell casting G G G G G G G (dungeoneer dies) (A bit mean that one)
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I appologies if I've spelt names wrong, but you should work out who I mean.
Uri Gella: I will rid this room of its haunting by staring at it... ...dam I've got a helmet on.
Bruce Foresyth (in a certain series 7 & 8 room): Higher than an ace... (sorry but it had to be done)
Simon Cowell (in series 6): Ridolfo I must stop you now, you singing is rubbish please leave.
Tony Blair: the reason these dungeons are so run down is due to the years of under-funding by the conservatives.
Johnny Vega: Ah I've at the Crazed Heffer, sod the quest I'm staying here, pint please.
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Gordon Ramsey: F*** you Fear, this is my dungeon and viewers are leaving disappointed because your minions are a fing pile of bs. Just pull your fing opposition together and stop being a f***ing fairy!
in the time he has been ranting life force pie has run out
Gordon: And what the F*** was that pie, I wouldn't serve s**** like that in my kitchen....
Thankfully Treguard dismisses him
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Ozzy Osbourne: Why did you put this ****ing helmet on my head? Do you want me to crash into a ****ing wall or something?
I wonder if Ozzy would be tempted to bite the head off one of those animated bats from Series 3?
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