Political Knightmares
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LOL!
My favourite Ashdownism from Spitting Image was the one when he went to the optician. "It is not a question of examining my left eye first, or my right eye, but somewhere in between. So test the bridge of my nose."
Can anyone think up a devil's eyes poster we could slot into KM?
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In my latest KM fanfic, one of the characters (an American tourist of sorts) judges Wolfenden to be more 'thatched roofs' than 'Thatcherite rule'.
[Mistress Goody bumps into Brother Mace in one of the Series 4 rooms.]
MG: 'Sir - you're drunk!'
BM: 'Madam, you are ugly; but in the morning I'll be sober!'
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Winston Churchill: "Our aim is victory, victory at all costs. We shall fight them in the villages, we shall fight them in the forests. We shall fight them with growing coinfidence in the air from Smirkenorff's back. We shall fight them on the landing area, we shall fight them in the castles... We shall fight them in the caverns... we shall never surrender. Surrender? You must be out of your tiny mind."
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Lord Fear: (Into magic mirror) "Chamberlain? Chamberlain? Where are you, you loathsome little Goblin Mas-... ah, there you are, Chamberlain. The new quest is under way already. What news on the operation to intercept it?"
Neville Chamberlain: "Earlier today I had a conversation with the new dungeoneer, and I have in my hand this piece of paper, which the dungeoneer has signed, giving his solemn promise that on no occasion in this adventure would he make any attempt to enter level three..."
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Treguard: Warning team, life force energy low, you must eat something now!
[Team finds table in next room]
Pickle: Master I don't believe it! John Prescott has eaten all the food.
BONG!
Treguard: Ooohhh nasty!
Well team, that has left you with some food for thought! At least you avoided Michael Howard. There's something of the Knight about him.
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The Opposition replaces its somewhat vampire-esque leader with one who is younger, trendier, more technologically-minded, and popularised by observers looking in on regular video broadcasts of him. Talk about life imitating art!
Meanwhile, McGrew fumes about not being Dungeon Master yet.
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Lord Fear: Ali, is there a Dungeoneer on Level 3?
Comical Ali: There is no Dungeoneer in Level 3. We have shot down numerous Dungeoneers as you can see from our Film Footage (que same film reel he showed Lord Fear the last 5 times he has asked). I cannot believe the news that the powers that be will say to you Lord Fear in order to try and make them convince you that they are winning.
Comical Ali: We shall defend ourselves with the blessing of Allah
Lord Fear: Look you imbisile the Dungeoneer is behind you.
Comical Ali: I can be confident when I say that there are no Dungeoneers in Level 3 Lord Fear.
Lord Fear: Ah Forget it. I'll just deal with it myself.
Comical Ali: There are no Fireballs...
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