A great Knightmare joke...
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Elita's mouth is so big she puts lipstick on with a paint roller.
Elita's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Elita's mouth is so big, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Elita's mouth is so foul, when she speaks her teeth duck.
Elita's mouth is so big, it shows up on radar.
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Elita's mouth is so big that when she breathes in too quickly the whole universe is sucked into it. Thankfully she's usually too busy insulting people to breathe.
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Elita's mouth is so big that when she coughed one day she produced the whole contents of the Sewers of Goth.
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And Elita's mouth is so filthy Lissard and the Miremen treat is as a home from home.
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I'm not saying that Elita's mouth is big, but when she went to treat a mouth ulcer once, I heard Bumptious' voice coming from inside saying "We'll need a lot more powder here..."
GG: Sorry, meant no offence. If you want, I'll put a bucket on my head, wear my old paperboy's bag, hold a twig and a jar of jam in my hands and offer to find you a spell...
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Elita's mouth is so big that Tim Child originally hired her not to act, but to store all the props, costumes and equipment in her gob.
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Elita's mouth is so big and foul, after eating she has to pick the goblins out with a pitchfork...
LOL.
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I'm not saying that Elita's mouth is big, but when she went to treat a mouth ulcer once, I heard Bumptious' voice coming from inside saying "We'll need a lot more powder here..."
GG: Sorry, meant no offence. If you want, I'll put a bucket on my head, wear my old paperboy's bag, hold a twig and a jar of jam in my hands and offer to find you a spell...
Between Emii, Debz and Ark's posts, I always seem to be laughing. Well, Ark, even though I wasn't really offended, an UNBINDING spell would be helpful. Or if you're feeling lazy, a bone for Festus would do.
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What have I started here!? I go away for a couple of weeks and this thread descends into a flood of generic big-mouth jokes! Good job I'm back with a sixth joke...
Man: Doctor, Doctor, I've watched Knightmare so much I'm suffering from hallucenations.
Doctor: Ooh, nasty!
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#7:
Q: Why is it so hard to get an interview with former Knightmare contestants?
A: Because they're always sidestepping the questions.
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#8:
Q: What do you call a dungeon master who protects the royal kitchen from intruders?
A: Tray guard.
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Between Emii, Debz and Ark's posts, I always seem to be laughing. Well, Ark, even though I wasn't really offended, an UNBINDING spell would be helpful. Or if you're feeling lazy, a bone for Festus would do.
Er...well, it seemed like a good idea at the time! You know, combining a large bone with an RELEASER spell to release your two sides, the best of both worlds? Unfortunately, I kind of mis-spelt the spell name, and...
slams shut a door when a couple of bones stick out, all yelling things like "Faceache" and "Dragon Droppings"
Dammit...how could I spell it RE-ELITA? Erm, could you call back? This could take a while...
enters the room armed with a BAG spell and several rolls of duct tape...
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