A great Knightmare joke...
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How many assistants does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven. One to change the bulb, one to complain about the way that lightbulb fitters always give their names out to people they've never even met before, one to complain how it's not fair asking people to change lightbulbs when they can't even see what they're doing, one to sneak a banana into the lightbulb fitter's knapsack when the Dungeon Master isn't looking, one to yell at the Dungeon Master to get his filthy hands off her, one to give illegal direct assistance while the bulb's being fitted, and one to call his own cousin a nasty little cow... slip.
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More technosorcery! Lightbulbs are the work of Fear, for certain. And didn't those lamps dungeoneers picked up in later series have suspicious on-off switches as well?
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Knightmare jokes? Well, Treguard thinking Pickle knew how to do the laundry.
Result - deelightful pink cloak!
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He should have forced Pickle to wear it, and called him Beetroot instead.
Joke thief!
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Yes. Treguard clearly wasn't the purist he made himself out to be.
This gives me an idea for a new thread about Knightmare conspiracy theories!
Sorry but I already beat you with a similar thread months ago http://www.talkknightmare.co.uk/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=4;action=display;num=1069881757 So now I can say that I was first at something then . From that thread this could some proof about Treguard though:
I always thought it was Lillith who was with Treguard, so perhaps Majida is the result of their relationship. In Series 1 and 2 Lillith seemed to have something like the attitude to Treguard as one might have to an ex-husband (although I can't be sure, I don't have too many ex-husbands myself). She's chilly with him, but there's definitely still a mutual attraction. Perhaps he gets emotional when "She rejects me" because she left him and took little Majida with her, as a final protest against his drunken rages, and he's since reformed. It might also help explain his strange state of mind in those series, since he's still emotionally raw about the whole incident.
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There have been about three different threads all chock full of wonderful KM related jokes over the past couple of years...I thought with the latest wave of knewbs we could see if they have any more gems for us! I couldn't find the threads, but if anyone manages to so we can have some examples, please pop them in here...
Has anyone got any new KM corkers?
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I couldn't find the threads, but if anyone manages to so we can have some examples, please pop them in here...
Some here:
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Sylvester Hands was standing at a Bus Stop, the sign said "Queue the other side." So he crossed the road and missed the bus.
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What do get if you cross a wall monster with a descendor?
- A facelift.
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What is Hugo Matt's new job?
Tree Guard!
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OK...never really tried with a Knightmare joke before.
![😕](https://www.knightmare.com/forum/assets/plugins/nodebb-plugin-emoji/emoji/android/1f615.png?v=cbb8c768457 ":\")
Anyways, here goes:
Q. What do you get when Pickle is "muddled-up"?
A. A Pickle Sandwich.
Q. Oakley can sometimes be called what?
A. Treguard.
^ Treguard as in Trayguard as in Treeguard. Tree, Guard. As a diagram:
Treguard > Trayguard > Treeguard.
I could probably think of a lot more, though, I just have to remember them.
Yes my jokes are unusual. ;_;
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Unusual, but good!
How many neutrals does it take to make a cake?
One to curse one of the others, one to steal a sneaky piece of icing, one to offer to trade it for something else and one to kill off the dungeoneer so they can eat the whole thing.
Well, I realise it's a spin on the lightbulb, but you can't eat a lightbulb so it had to be a cake.
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^Thanks. ^^
A dungeoneer was trying to solve a puzzle in Level 3, and a Red Dragon came into the room, preparing his meal (the dungeoneer). Just then, a blue dragon came into the room, and starting preparing his meal, too. The Red Dragon fought the blue dragon, and vice versa. What happened to them?
Answer: They marooned.
Some more jokes:
Advisor: Do you see anything to the right of you?
Dungeoneer: Yes. It appears to be some sort of Red Dragon. It's ten times bigger than me.
Advisor: Put it in your knapsack, then.
(the dungeoneer had left his Knapsack in Level 2)
Advisor: ...
Advisor: Just eat it then.
Treguard: Get off my show, you retards! You just ate my Red Dragon puppet we use in Series 8!
Pickle: Now, now...it's perfectly normal to be eating a Red Dragon. In fact, I eat anything.
(the team continue on to the end of Level 3, and they seem to be running out of Life Force again)
Advisor: What is that to the left of you?
Dungeoneer: It seems to be...Motley.
Advisor: Put it in you knap...oh I forgot, you don't have it.
...
Just eat it, then.
Motley: (screams)
Treguard: You fing bards!
Sorry for any cursing or anything.
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