A great Knightmare joke...
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Yes. Treguard clearly wasn't the purist he made himself out to be.
This gives me an idea for a new thread about Knightmare conspiracy theories!
Sorry but I already beat you with a similar thread months ago http://www.talkknightmare.co.uk/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=4;action=display;num=1069881757 So now I can say that I was first at something then . From that thread this could some proof about Treguard though:
I always thought it was Lillith who was with Treguard, so perhaps Majida is the result of their relationship. In Series 1 and 2 Lillith seemed to have something like the attitude to Treguard as one might have to an ex-husband (although I can't be sure, I don't have too many ex-husbands myself). She's chilly with him, but there's definitely still a mutual attraction. Perhaps he gets emotional when "She rejects me" because she left him and took little Majida with her, as a final protest against his drunken rages, and he's since reformed. It might also help explain his strange state of mind in those series, since he's still emotionally raw about the whole incident.
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There have been about three different threads all chock full of wonderful KM related jokes over the past couple of years...I thought with the latest wave of knewbs we could see if they have any more gems for us! I couldn't find the threads, but if anyone manages to so we can have some examples, please pop them in here...
Has anyone got any new KM corkers?
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I couldn't find the threads, but if anyone manages to so we can have some examples, please pop them in here...
Some here:
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Sylvester Hands was standing at a Bus Stop, the sign said "Queue the other side." So he crossed the road and missed the bus.
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What do get if you cross a wall monster with a descendor?
- A facelift.
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What is Hugo Matt's new job?
Tree Guard!
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OK...never really tried with a Knightmare joke before.
![😕](https://www.knightmare.com/forum/assets/plugins/nodebb-plugin-emoji/emoji/android/1f615.png?v=d0be30d29f0 ":\")
Anyways, here goes:
Q. What do you get when Pickle is "muddled-up"?
A. A Pickle Sandwich.
Q. Oakley can sometimes be called what?
A. Treguard.
^ Treguard as in Trayguard as in Treeguard. Tree, Guard. As a diagram:
Treguard > Trayguard > Treeguard.
I could probably think of a lot more, though, I just have to remember them.
Yes my jokes are unusual. ;_;
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Unusual, but good!
How many neutrals does it take to make a cake?
One to curse one of the others, one to steal a sneaky piece of icing, one to offer to trade it for something else and one to kill off the dungeoneer so they can eat the whole thing.
Well, I realise it's a spin on the lightbulb, but you can't eat a lightbulb so it had to be a cake.
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^Thanks. ^^
A dungeoneer was trying to solve a puzzle in Level 3, and a Red Dragon came into the room, preparing his meal (the dungeoneer). Just then, a blue dragon came into the room, and starting preparing his meal, too. The Red Dragon fought the blue dragon, and vice versa. What happened to them?
Answer: They marooned.
Some more jokes:
Advisor: Do you see anything to the right of you?
Dungeoneer: Yes. It appears to be some sort of Red Dragon. It's ten times bigger than me.
Advisor: Put it in your knapsack, then.
(the dungeoneer had left his Knapsack in Level 2)
Advisor: ...
Advisor: Just eat it then.
Treguard: Get off my show, you retards! You just ate my Red Dragon puppet we use in Series 8!
Pickle: Now, now...it's perfectly normal to be eating a Red Dragon. In fact, I eat anything.
(the team continue on to the end of Level 3, and they seem to be running out of Life Force again)
Advisor: What is that to the left of you?
Dungeoneer: It seems to be...Motley.
Advisor: Put it in you knap...oh I forgot, you don't have it.
...
Just eat it, then.
Motley: (screams)
Treguard: You fing bards!
Sorry for any cursing or anything.
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How many clones of Sylvester Hands would it take to change a lightbulb?
*As many as you can get. Many Hands make light work *
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arggh You'll have Brother Strange here in a minute!
...meanwhile two goblins argue over whose club is the best but with the size of them they have trouble getting in without I.D.
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I posted this in another thread, but anyhoo...
Q: How many clones of Sylvester Hands do you need to change a lightbulb?
A: As many as you can get. Many Hands make light work.
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What's the difference between the Brangwen Shee and the former Mayor of London?
-One can live in stone, the other's Ken Livingstone.
What do you get if you cross Hordriss with a Russian bricklayer?
- Tetriss the Constructor.
What do you get if you cross lemon tea with a trainee sorceress?
- Citrus the Infused.
Why did the Chuckle Brothers enter the Dungeon with a sign that read 'Looking For De Wittless'?
-To meet a Hugh, to meet a Hugh...
Why don't dungeoneers have a fear of encountering a fiery drawing pin?
- Because the only way is onward, there is no burning tack.
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A guy is walking down a road when he sees what looks like a white handkerchief on the floor. He picks it up and looks around and only sees a Cavernwraith in front of him, gliding away.
"Hey, Cavernwraith," says the guy. "You've dropped your handkerchief."
The Cavernwraith turns around and looks.
"That's not a handkerchief," says the Cavernwraith. "That's my son!"
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Sylvester Hands tries to fool a passer-by, being a scoundral and thief by nature he decided to take a different approach. One day in the busy market of Wolfenden he spots a fairly wealthy man smoking a pipe. Sylvester Hands grabs his attention and says, "I haven't eaten for three days..." To which the man looks at his pipe, looks at Hands and replies, "God I wish I had your willpower!"
Fatilla the Hun and Brother Mace are in the Crazed Heifer, sitting by the bar. Fatilla notices his decanters getting dry and says to Mace, "Your round," to which Mace replies bluntly, "So are you, you fat b*****d!"
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Sidriss is so stupid she thinks the most dangerous insect in the world is the Hepatitis Bee.
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