Arrival at Castle Anthrax
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The wheel slows down and comes to a stop on.......Skarkill
You sure you didn't cheat my wheel? Bah. The luck is yours today.
Very well, take him away and do with him what you will. Be quick though. I have a new mission for you, my most loyal of servants.
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A Very sadistic smile appers on Skarkill's face.
"Come on my little playmate. Lets go and.......play."
Skarkill manhandales the dungeoneer over to the steps.
"Carefull its a long way down."
Skarkill pushes the kid who dissapers down the stone steps with a scream of terror, followed by the sound of breaking bones.
"HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.........LOVELY."
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Right. Leave him there. No doubt Grippa and Rhark will take him back to your room, you can finish with your fun there.
Now, My next job for you is a little treasure hunting mission.
I want you to scour the land in search of a suitable present for The Mistress. You know I'm thinking of asking her to marry me so I need a gift to signify my love for her.
Make it interesting, you know how she tires of the usual rings, custard, necklaces etc.
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Hmmmm. Different. Where would you get this heart?
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Ah, so it would be fresh as well.
Skarkill, you're a genius.....well maybe not. More a one-eyed freak with a manacle fetish and a peculiar taste in friends.
Yet despite this, I think you've had your first ever good idea. Congratulations.
Worry about the Heart tomorrow. Come and join me for a goblet of brandy.....
.......SIT!
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Now Skarkill you should know better than to ask that.
OF COURSE IT IS!!!!
You don't think I would pay for anything that I could steal do you? What sort of Evil Icon do you take me for?
I must admit I've become rather fond of it.
Come on, drink up, there's plenty more in the cellar......of the Crazed Heffer!
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Yes. Sly was a bit of a booze hound. Did you ever see his drunken impression of Jimmy Saville?
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My god. That's almost as bad as me doing the Time Warp whilst drunk.....
.....Speaking of which. Do you know the Time Warp Skarkill?
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It's really rather simple, my old pal hic
You see.....It's just a.....jump to the left, and then a step to the right, put your hands on your hips, and bring your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insayayayayayane....
Got it Skarkill? Then stand up and...Let's do the Time Warp again!
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Then maybe you should get an elf drunk, would make the removal of it's heart easier and less messy.
Time draws on. More and more Brandy flows
You hic know Skarky, you're the only one who undershtands me. You're my besht mate you know that.
Melishandrinoff ish nothing compared to you. You're a beautiful person, physhically disgusting but beautiful inshide.
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"Beggin yer pardon again yer Lordship But I thinks you has had enough."
"An Besides I need's to get goin if I'm to catch an Elf there ueseraly Docil...Doil...Do...ILL..Do...cod...err. Well Eaiser to catch because ther not full awake yet at this time of the morning."
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Very well Shkarkill. I shupposhe you're right.
Have you sheen The Misshtressh tonight? I'm ready for bed and she'sh nowhere to be seen. Stupid B**ch that'sh it, we're through.....I wantsh nothing more to do with her.....she's nothing but a......gorgeoush, pleashantly evil woman. I couldn't live without her.
Ah Shkarky. I wish she wash here now.
Skarkill attempts to help Jack up
No, No. I'll be fine.
Jack stands and stumbles
Ooooh. Maybe I wont.
Jack looks blankly around the room and then focuses on Skarkill and looks stunned
Oh, hello. Pleashed to meet you. Do you know the way to my bed?
(Right Skarkill, I'm off to have my second break of the night then I gotta go count some juice. Should take about an hour altogether if you're still on)
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