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  3. They would never say...

They would never say...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Jester's Corner
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    Drassil
    Senior staff
    wrote on last edited by
    #328

    Treguard: 'Ooh nasty, what a pity, never mind.'


    [Treguard gets his first glimpse of a causeway in operation.]

    Treguard: 'A causeway! Ground breaking.'

    Pickle: 'Boom boom.'

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      Fidjit
      wrote on last edited by
      #329

      Sylvester Hands approaches a dungeoneer with a magic rope...

      Dungeoneer: (Dave Lister style) Wha's that pal, you startin' trouble!

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        MoanaLiza
        wrote on last edited by
        #330

        Sly to Lissard: "You stink"

        Lissard: "I'm an atlantean, I come from the sssssea. Now what'ssss your excusssssse?"

        Lissard and Sly: "We ssssmell!"

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          Thanatos
          wrote on last edited by
          #331

          The Dreadnought: "Hello, sir. I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations."

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            darkDescender
            wrote on last edited by
            #332

            Treguard: "Join us again for Knightmare. Until next time, good pie!"

            Or...

            "Join us again for Knightmare. Until next time, Good guy!"

            Or...

            "Join us again for Knightmare. Until next time, Good fry!"

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            • HarveyTowersH
              HarveyTowersH
              HarveyTowers
              wrote on last edited by
              #333

              Mogdred: "Your only hope to reach level three now is to pledge yourself to me, and come as my servant. Well, will you pledge yourself to me? We need a twelth man out here! Come on, let's be having you!"

              The Delia Smith School of Public Speaking - Now Taking Resitrations

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                TheBrollachan
                wrote on last edited by
                #334

                Brollachan: "I hunger, why don't you feed me with some rock cakes"

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                  darkDescender
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #335

                  As the mine cart crashes in level Three, Mogdred appears

                  Mogdred: (anguished) 40 Years! I've had my no claims bonus insurance for 40 years! 40 Years! 40 Years!

                  Mogdred proceeds to follow the dungeoneer throughout the remainder of the quest, wailing "40 years!" over and over

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                    123Pooka
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #336

                    Bhal Shebah:

                    "Now the only question is: chilled or frozen?"

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                      TuragaNuju
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #337

                      Wall Puzzle -

                      "What is the Quadratic Equation Of celsius Pie?"

                      Guard: Halt - None Shall Pass Without Gold

                      Dungeoneer: I have gold for you

                      Gives Gold To Guard

                      Dungeoneer Tries To Pass

                      Guard: NONE SHALL PASS WITHOUT GOLD

                      Dungeoneer: But I Just Gave You The Gold

                      Guard: No, You Need To HAVE The Gold To Pass.

                      Gives Gold Back

                      Guard: Shall We Try This Again?

                      Treguard: Err... Cauppacinno with some of those cheesy biscuits..

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                        Fidjit
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #338

                        Or "Nice Tea!"

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                          Fidjit
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #339

                          http://knightmare.com/series/3/170.jpg

                          "I can't believe its not butter!" I like that one!

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                            Drassil
                            Senior staff
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #340

                            Lissard to Lord Fear: 'Sssssso long, and thanksssss for all the fish.'

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                              darkDescender
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #341

                              Brother Mace: "Resistance is useless!"

                              On a side note, I urge all right-thinking Knightmare fans to watch Hitchhikers Guide on BBC2 tonight (10th May 2005) As Michael Cule, Rayner Bourton and David Learner all appear in tonight's episode.

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                                Drassil
                                Senior staff
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #342

                                Treguard: 'Oooh, https://www.bing.com/mapspreview?mmclassic=browse&lat=51.9012&lon=-0.0278&scale=100000&icon=x !'


                                Treguard: 'This is your knapsack - that's right, sling it over your shoulder - for any food you find. It will restore your energy, but in this phase of the Dungeon, it's not without waste. So here is your crapsack. When it feels full, be sure to empty it, or you risk Life Force damage...'


                                Treguard: Come in, stranger!

                                [Instead of a child, Richard O'Brien enters, followed by six breathless, shell-suited adults.]

                                Richard: Righto, team, what will the next game in the Mediaeval Zone be?

                                Team captain: Uh... I think we'll have a Mystery...

                                Richard: A Mystery game! And who's to play this Mystery game?

                                Team captain: Uh... Shaun!

                                Richard: Shaun to play a Mystery game!

                                [Richard drags one of the team across the antechamber, to the Dungeon entrance. The others run over too, and giggle. He pulls a sand-timer out of his jacket.]

                                Richard: Shaun, you have two minutes from the very second you're through the door. Go!

                                [Shaun is pushed into the Dungeon. The others watch on the magic mirror as he appears in the Corridor of Blades, and all shout at once. Treguard groans.]

                                Richard: [Turning to Treguard.] Oh, it's not so bad. It could have been a Fort Boyard crossover. [Begins to play his harmonica.]

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                                  123Pooka
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #343

                                  Brilliant Drassil! I can picture it all in my head- two great elements of knightmare and crystal maze in one.

                                  lol Richard O'Brien might seem a little insensitive if he was to continue playing that harmonica when poor old shaun bites the blades. Then again, it would be great if he were to do a harmonica encore to 'ooh nasty'.

                                  Back to they would never say:

                                  Treguard in antechamber: Pickle! Don't worry yourself, I'll get it.

                                  Pickle: No! I insist master I'll get the questbook.

                                  Treguard: No, I'll get it.

                                  Pickle: No, I always keep the watchers updated on quest progress master its my job.

                                  Treguard: Its ok, I'll get it.

                                  They simultaneously grab the book and start having a tug of war over the pages- gradually ripping the book to shreds

                                  By this time, the advisors are already fed up with waiting and on their way home.

                                  Treguard: Ahhhh, they've gone, we can stop our pretend fighting now. A day off from being dungeonmaster at last.

                                  Pickle: A day off from being your ****** assistant!

                                  Treguard: shush elf or I really will rip your ears off next time!

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                                    TuragaNuju
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #344

                                    Enter... Stranger

                                    Tregurad looks puzzled... there is no dungeneer at the door

                                    Thats strange, where is the dungeoneer?

                                    The advisors all look at Treguard, then at the door

                                    What, Is there something on my shoe?

                                    Treguard looks down, and there is a reeeeaaally small person in the doorway

                                    Oh.... Err

                                    Pulls out pocket radio

                                    This is roger niner Tetley Bravo, we need a smaller helmet over...

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                                      Drassil
                                      Senior staff
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #345

                                      Pickle: [Addressing the Watchers] I say, you lot. Don't go.

                                      Treguard: What's the matter, you silly sprite? I thought you didn't like the Watchers.

                                      Pickle: I get lonely trying to sleep here, Master. It's worse than an NES hospital ward.

                                      Treguard: NES?

                                      Pickle: National Elf Service.

                                      Treguard: [Keeling over at the awful pun] Aaagh... now I need a hospital. Will the NES have a bed for me?

                                      Pickle: There is a bed. There's always a bed. But it won't be easy to find...

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                                        TuragaNuju
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #346

                                        I thin I need a doctor too after that one.

                                        Treguard probably wouldnt shout MONKEY! at the Dungeoneer every time they took a step

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                                          MoanaLiza
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #347

                                          "Get a life" after dungeoneer succums to death.

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