Things you would never SEE in the dungeons...
-
Do you mean Velda? Velma was in Scooby Doo!
These threads have been going for a long time (hence their 'Klassic' status, I suppose), and some of the more recent posts are recapturing ideas from the earlier days:
You wouldn't see ... Brother Mace and Pickle (see Episode1, Series 7)at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting
[Several KM characters, including Brother Mace, Aesandre, Hands, Pickle and Gretel, sit in a semi-circle in Brangwen She's Clueroom, facing the wall monster. Brother Mace stands up.]
Mace: Greetings, my name is Brother Mace. And... and...
Brangwen: Answer, name it now!
Mace: ...I'm an alcoholic.
[The others in the semi-circle applaud.]
Brangwen: Well done. The first step, is acceptance. Acceeeeeptaaaannnce...
Slyvester Hands enjoying high tea with cucumber sandwiches...
Sylvester Hands: "Good evening, old sport! I was just enjoying a rather spiffing cucumber sandwich!"
-
That'll be where I got the idea looks guilty
-
Cedric becoming the lover of a Russian queen, who is convinced that he can cure her son's haemophilia.
A band consisting of skeletrons and catacombites, named 'Boney KM', singing a song about Cedric doing the above.
McGrew interrogating a tin of Baxter's soup: 'So you're not a Campbell?'
-
The Brollachan coming out of a dungeon wall as the dungeoneer walks by:
"You will tell me how to check my lottery tickets online, human. Then you will tell me if Keira Knightley is single"
-
When the dugeoneer looks through the spy glass, Lord Fear is asleep.
**********When the dugeoneer looks through the spy glass, Lord Fear is in a forest, playing with bunny rabbits.
-
*the dungeneer looks trough the spyglass and sees:
Lordi and the others talking whilst Lord Fear is tied up in a corner, looking very outraged*
For those ignorant:
-
*the dungeneer looks trough the spyglass and sees:
Lordi and the others talking whilst Lord Fear is tied up in a corner, looking very outraged*
For those ignorant:
I think we've all heard of Lordi now. Congratulations, Snowwie!
-
Please could I suggest that you re-post that in the 'I had a silly idea' thread and delete it from .this thread? That way, we have all the song parodies in one place.
-
A dungeoneer walking into the Sewers of Goth to find it decorated with tinsel, baulbles, paperchains, a couple of christmas trees in the corners, twinkling lights and a generous helping of Harpic Toilet Blocks and Fresheners littered everwhere...
(Gotta get this topic back up and running! Its just legendary!)
-
A Series 3 dungeoneer being attacked by a dwarf at the start of Level 3 for taking a joyride in his minecart. The dungeoneer simply replies, "Enthralling trip, titch."
(A nod to a kind remark that's appeared on the website. )
-
I hope, for all our sakes, we never see this.
Add accents as you see fit
[Majida stands alone in the antechamber]
Majida: Welcome watchers of illusion, to the castle of confusion. I’m very sorry watchers, but we’re having… staffing problems. Greybeard is unfortunately unavailable…
[There is a sudden noise that sounds like muffled shouting. Majida continues]
M:…but luckily you’ve got me!
[She grabs the staff and taps in to the ground]
M: Enter stranger!
[A male dungeoneer appears. Majida leaps back]
M: No, I don’t want a boy, send him back!
Dungeoneer: But-
[He vanishes, followed by some more muffed shouting. A new dungeoneer appears, a girl this time. The muffled shouting continues.]
M: Better. What is your name?
Dungeoneer: Ruby.
M: Very strange name, but that's typical of humans. Now call your advisors.
Ruby: Clara, Josh, Willow.
[The advisors appear. Josh looks confused.]
Josh: Can any of you hear someone –
M: I can't hear anything.
[The voice falls silent, like it’s been gagged. Majida picks up the quest items from a crumpled pile, almost as if they’d been thrown there during a struggle. She describes the items as she puts them on the dungeoneer.]
M: This is your Knapsack. You put food in it, so you don’t starve. This is the Eyeshield. It allows your friends to see the path ahead, which they’ll need to, as you’ll be wearing the…
[She stops. Her hands are empty. The Helmet of Justice is not there]
M: Oh silly me, I must have left it in… the cupboard.
[She slowly turns towards the cupboard. The shouting restarts, louder than ever. Majida suddenly turns away from it, a fixed smile on her face]
M: But you don’t need to worry about that because you’re going in without it.
R: But the rules say –
M: Forget about the rules, Treguard just makes them up anyway. Besides, it will make it much easier, yes? I always say it’s too difficult. Go now.
[She grabs Ruby and pushes her towards the dungeon entrance. But before she goes through, there’s a flash of red light and Hordriss appears, blocking the way]
Hordriss: What are you thinking, genie? A dungeoneer can’t go into the dungeon without the Helmet of Justice! Especially not after last time! Go get it at once!
[Majida looks from Hordriss to the cupboard to Hordriss again. She crosses her arms and pouts]
M: Shan’t.
H: Shan’t, what do you mean, shan’t? Some assistant you are! It’s in this cupboard isn’t it?
[He goes to open the cupboard]
M: No!
[The cupboard is open, and a very familiar Dungeon Master falls out, tied up like a Christmas present (not literally, I wouldn’t put you through that again). Majida smiles sheepishly]
M: Wow(!) What’s he doing in there?
[All eyes on her. She disappears back to her bottle]
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login