U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when...
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A dungeoneer is pushed off down the track in the Series 3 mine cart. Then the Naked Gun theme starts playing. The mine cart hurtles through the Corridor of Blades, the Crazed Heifer, the antechamber, Dunkley Wood, the Series 3 monster's intestine, part of the Series 1-5 opening sequence, a KMVR tunnel, Wolfenden marketplace, the Vale of Vanburn, a bomb room and other assorted KM locations, before coming to a stop in Level 3 as the music ends. The dungeoneer scrabbles around in the cart for a sick-bag and ends up using the knapsack.
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Snapper-Jack gets bored of just posing riddles and creates his own theme song, "Napping Time".
Napping Time
It's what we're here for
Napping Time
It's what we cheer for
Napping time...
And so on.
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Some more random Chuck Noriss facts shamelessly edited to incorporate a Knightmare theme.
Earth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is Treguard.
Treguard doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Treguard can taste lies.
The active ingredient in Red Bull is Treguard's sweat.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Treguard finds it delicious.
Treguard can split the atom. With his bare hands.
Treguard can slam a revolving door.
Treguard once shot down a red Dragon with his finger, by shouting, "Bang!"
Treguard invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Ed Tudor Pole invented pink.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Treguard.
Treguard has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
Treguard actually built the stairway to heaven.
Treguard is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
Treguard was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a moustache. And a head.
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...Knightmare becomes a cookery show.
"Hello, and welcome to Sift & Blend with me, Gordon Ramsay. Later, I'll be with Gretel in the kitchen, trying to get her to realise that you don't need to cook any ****ing toads to make toad-in-the-***ing-hole. Stupid bnt. I'll also be meeting Fatilla, a complete ****ing oaf of a man who survives on a diet of ****ing sheep droppings, gold ****ing bars and the occasional horse. **** me. But first, I'll show you how to make a ****ing great pie that anyone can enjoy, providing you actually ****ing eat the thing and don't use it as a ****ing Life Force clock."
Pickle: "Do you wish to make a joke involving my name, New Master?"
Gordon: "No, **** off."
[Apologies for the implied strong language.]
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After dungeoneer January is kidnapped in Series 6, the Powers that Be receive a letter from her, talking about how well she's being treated. She then appears on the magic mirror, praising the Opposition's hospitality. After several days, Lord Fear announces that he is releasing January as a "gift" to Treguard, but takes the opportunity to criticise the Dungeon Master for sending children into the Dungeon. January comes home and sells her story to The Quest.
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Whenever a Dungeoneer is killed, Lord Fear strips down to his codpiece and dances round Mount Fear as the theme song from 'I Am Weasel' plays in the background...
"Ya don't need pants for the victory dance, 'cos Lord Fear's better than Treguard..."
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Knightmare gets a spin-off show about the origins of the Dunswater Boatman. After living for years with a bag on his head and no real sense of ambition, he discovers that he has powers - powers that allow him to manipulate oars. They prove to be both an advantage and a curse to him. The show is called He Rows.
Knightmare gets a spin-off show based entirely around the scene in Quest 7 of Series 3 where Velda is presented with a particular flower. The show is titled Here - Rose.
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Smirkenorff changes his name to Thunderwing Doomslayer.
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John Sullivan remakes Knightmare Series 1-3 under the title Only Halls And Forces, casting David Jason as Treguard. He later remakes Series 4 under the title The Pink, Pink Grass.
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The door monster from Level 3 of Series 4 gets her own series, in which she opens and closes noisily in order to annoy a group of pretentious, verbose, American teenagers. The series is called Dooreen's Creak.
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Sly hand is replaced by Everdred from Mother 2.
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Lord Fear employs the Ultimate Warrior as his newest henchman. Warrior proceeds to spend all his screen time ranting incoherently about how he's going to take control of Treguard's plane and send it into a nosedive, "And then, Treguard, you will be close to Parts Unknown, snnnrrrggg haaaagggghhhh!" In a desperate attempt to minimize damages, Lord Fear fires the Warrior. Warrior responds by changing his name to Lord Fear, before suing the real Lord Fear for stealing his name.
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