A great Knightmare joke...
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How many clones of Sylvester Hands would it take to change a lightbulb?
*As many as you can get. Many Hands make light work *
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arggh You'll have Brother Strange here in a minute!
...meanwhile two goblins argue over whose club is the best but with the size of them they have trouble getting in without I.D.
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I posted this in another thread, but anyhoo...
Q: How many clones of Sylvester Hands do you need to change a lightbulb?
A: As many as you can get. Many Hands make light work.
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What's the difference between the Brangwen Shee and the former Mayor of London?
-One can live in stone, the other's Ken Livingstone.
What do you get if you cross Hordriss with a Russian bricklayer?
- Tetriss the Constructor.
What do you get if you cross lemon tea with a trainee sorceress?
- Citrus the Infused.
Why did the Chuckle Brothers enter the Dungeon with a sign that read 'Looking For De Wittless'?
-To meet a Hugh, to meet a Hugh...
Why don't dungeoneers have a fear of encountering a fiery drawing pin?
- Because the only way is onward, there is no burning tack.
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A guy is walking down a road when he sees what looks like a white handkerchief on the floor. He picks it up and looks around and only sees a Cavernwraith in front of him, gliding away.
"Hey, Cavernwraith," says the guy. "You've dropped your handkerchief."
The Cavernwraith turns around and looks.
"That's not a handkerchief," says the Cavernwraith. "That's my son!"
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Sylvester Hands tries to fool a passer-by, being a scoundral and thief by nature he decided to take a different approach. One day in the busy market of Wolfenden he spots a fairly wealthy man smoking a pipe. Sylvester Hands grabs his attention and says, "I haven't eaten for three days..." To which the man looks at his pipe, looks at Hands and replies, "God I wish I had your willpower!"
Fatilla the Hun and Brother Mace are in the Crazed Heifer, sitting by the bar. Fatilla notices his decanters getting dry and says to Mace, "Your round," to which Mace replies bluntly, "So are you, you fat b*****d!"
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Sidriss is so stupid she thinks the most dangerous insect in the world is the Hepatitis Bee.
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Why did Sidriss tell Brother Silence to go away?
- Because she couldn't hear herself think.
What was Tim Child's favourite restaurant during Autumn 1994?
- CGI Fridays.
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Did you see the episode where a dungeoneer was killed by Adolph Hitler?
— All Treguard could say was: “Ooooh… Nazi!”
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Why did Brother Mace have trouble doing up his silly rope?
- Because old habits tie hard.
Saint Valentine's Day comes to Dunshelm, and Treguard learns of Majida's true feelings for him. He thinks things over and reaches a decision. Looking into his soul, and her eyes, he murmurs, "Majida, I don't know about you but I'm feeling the need to, um, slip into something more comfortable."
"Oh yes, do!" cries Majida, beaming.
Treguard spellcasts COMA on himself.
What's the difference between Ben from Series 7 and Pepto-Bismol?
- Only one darkens stools.
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Melly: "Hordriss, what would happen if Morghanna and Fatilla were merged by a spell?"
Hordriss: "One is not oaf fay with such magic."
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That joke is never going to get old
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Love it!
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Where did the hun drop his biscuit when he was told that he couldn't have children?
In Fatilla tea.
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Liking it!
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Wow, 11 years since I first made this thread! That was nearer to the show's run than to the present day.
Let me see if I can think of a new Knightmare joke…
Man goes to the doctor: "Doctor, doctor! There's something seriously wrong with me. First, all my hair fell out, then I started losing my skin, and now even my bones are crumbling away!"
"Don't worry," says the Doctor, "I've seen this on Knightmare. As long as you have one eyeball left, you'll be fine. Here, have a banana."
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