A great Knightmare joke...
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A guy is walking down a road when he sees what looks like a white handkerchief on the floor. He picks it up and looks around and only sees a Cavernwraith in front of him, gliding away.
"Hey, Cavernwraith," says the guy. "You've dropped your handkerchief."
The Cavernwraith turns around and looks.
"That's not a handkerchief," says the Cavernwraith. "That's my son!"
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Sylvester Hands tries to fool a passer-by, being a scoundral and thief by nature he decided to take a different approach. One day in the busy market of Wolfenden he spots a fairly wealthy man smoking a pipe. Sylvester Hands grabs his attention and says, "I haven't eaten for three days..." To which the man looks at his pipe, looks at Hands and replies, "God I wish I had your willpower!"
Fatilla the Hun and Brother Mace are in the Crazed Heifer, sitting by the bar. Fatilla notices his decanters getting dry and says to Mace, "Your round," to which Mace replies bluntly, "So are you, you fat b*****d!"
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Sidriss is so stupid she thinks the most dangerous insect in the world is the Hepatitis Bee.
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Why did Sidriss tell Brother Silence to go away?
- Because she couldn't hear herself think.
What was Tim Child's favourite restaurant during Autumn 1994?
- CGI Fridays.
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Did you see the episode where a dungeoneer was killed by Adolph Hitler?
— All Treguard could say was: “Ooooh… Nazi!”
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Why did Brother Mace have trouble doing up his silly rope?
- Because old habits tie hard.
Saint Valentine's Day comes to Dunshelm, and Treguard learns of Majida's true feelings for him. He thinks things over and reaches a decision. Looking into his soul, and her eyes, he murmurs, "Majida, I don't know about you but I'm feeling the need to, um, slip into something more comfortable."
"Oh yes, do!" cries Majida, beaming.
Treguard spellcasts COMA on himself.
What's the difference between Ben from Series 7 and Pepto-Bismol?
- Only one darkens stools.
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Melly: "Hordriss, what would happen if Morghanna and Fatilla were merged by a spell?"
Hordriss: "One is not oaf fay with such magic."
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That joke is never going to get old
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Love it!
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Where did the hun drop his biscuit when he was told that he couldn't have children?
In Fatilla tea.
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Liking it!
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Wow, 11 years since I first made this thread! That was nearer to the show's run than to the present day.
Let me see if I can think of a new Knightmare joke…
Man goes to the doctor: "Doctor, doctor! There's something seriously wrong with me. First, all my hair fell out, then I started losing my skin, and now even my bones are crumbling away!"
"Don't worry," says the Doctor, "I've seen this on Knightmare. As long as you have one eyeball left, you'll be fine. Here, have a banana."
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Or how about…
Eddie Van Halen recently released a pop album, but fans hated it, forcing him to return to his musical roots. Eddie was quoted as saying: "Rock I was, rock I now become."
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Man goes to the doctor: "Doctor, doctor! There's something seriously wrong with me. First, all my hair fell out, then I started losing my skin, and now even my bones are crumbling away!"
"Don't worry," says the Doctor, "I've seen this on Knightmare. As long as you have one eyeball left, you'll be fine. Here, have a banana."
Eddie Van Halen recently released a pop album, but fans hated it, forcing him to return to his musical roots. Eddie was quoted as saying: "Rock I was, rock I now become."
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What time does Hordriss touch himself?
When the big hand's on one.
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What did Treguard say to the polygamist?
"This is no game of numerous wives."
What do you get if you cross Elita with Skarkill?
A gob hobblin'.
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