Stupid, stupid people
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I have often thought Knightmare would have been a better series if Treguard had rapped a bit more. At the beginning. Like the Fresh Prince. In a spinning chair. Tim Child. I speak for the whole Knightmare community.
Okay, here's my effort. It's Treguard reviewing the Quest of Series 3 Team 10 ("Julie and the Goblins", of course), pretty much in the same format as the Fresh Prince bit. (I can't believe I checked up on the Fresh Prince words on Google. My most embarrassing search ever is now "Fresh Prince 'This is a story all about how'".) Imagine Hugo on aforementioned spinning chair if it helps blot out the awful words.
*Now this is a story all about why
Julie from Leicester was doomed to die.
I'll just recap a minute, don't tell me to talk faster
Because I'm Treguard Dunshelm, the funky Dungeon Master.
Back in Level One on a quest for the sword
Got questioned by Brangwen and two good truths scored.
Sidesteppin', walkin' forward, turnin' right, stop
And all laughing loud at Amanda's starry top.
Got life force damaged on the wellway by a ghoulie
But it was Amanda's horrid outfit that really frightened Julie.
Got wrong one little riddle and missed out on magic
So they were doomed to a death both hilarious and tragic.
They went on through the level and escaped Mogdred's minions
Then into a long room where they had some strange opinions.
In the corridor nasty things then paid a visit
But instead of escaping they shouted out "Who is it?".
Got surrounded by goblins, it was lookin' real unpleasant
But they just tried to offer the evil creeps a present.
So as the goblins started to stab and thump her
I said "Ooh, that is nasty" but I meant Amanda's jumper.*
Yes, I know it's bad. But at least I tried.
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Grimaldine Grimwold... that was brilliant.
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Heh, thankyou for humouring me.
I realise I should include this picture to explain several of the references.
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That 'Nightmare' mixing desk photo is at http://www.knightmare.v-2-1.net/behind/ray/3/3-4/16.htm
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I remember several people being 'stupid' during Knightmare's run. For instance, one dungeoneer was walking along that path, and the adviser clearly said "Turn to your right". The dungeoneer instead sidestepped to the right - and ended up sinking into a pit of green stuff!
Also the bit where they missed the first 'step' and had to jump the gap in Merlin's chamber. Why didn't the dungeoneer just STOP after making the jump? He kept walking forward and ended up falling into the pit!
And why are people having problems with spelling TREGUARD when his name was written in the credits at the end of every episode!
Treguard/Dungeon Master: HUGO MYATT
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Spellcasting: E,D,I,T
Sorry I thought this topic was about how stupid the advisers/dungeoneers were in the series. Is there a separate topic about that?
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Grimaldine - that rap was bloody brilliant! (to quote one Ronald Weasley). Although perhaps referencing poor Amanda's top three times was a bit much. We should try and find her...
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Maybe she still has said top. Another potential guest for a convention.
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Although perhaps referencing poor Amanda's top three times was a bit much. We should try and find her...
I'm sorry for that. I wanted a theme to return to and got carried away. It's good in that case I didn't have enough lines to fit in:
*So Julie ended beaten, bruised and black-eyed like a panda
But she still looked so much better than that top did on Amanda.*
If she ever finds this website, she'll probably kill me. Divine justice would probably compel her to suffocate me with a certain item of clothing I won't mention.
Please Amanda, it's only meant as a joke. You can come and mock my wardrobe if you so wish.
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I see you've said your piece in the Guestbook, Emii.
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