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  3. U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when...

U kno sum1's been messing w. the dungeons when...

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    Drassil
    Senior staff
    wrote on last edited by
    #293

    Sir Hugh de Wittless kills a Welsh dragon because he believes that some beetles need rescuing. After that, Hordriss' curse well and truly addles the knight's brain and he ends up hijacking the Dunswater ferry and taking the dragon's head around in it as he tries to rescue fish. Because of the untold amount of silver and/or gold stored in the boat being rendered inaccessible, this has major financial implications for the Greater Dungeon.

    They're calling it the Hugh Rows Owen Crisis.

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      Drassil
      Senior staff
      wrote on last edited by
      #294

      Dungeoneer Jamie gets a gold medal at the 1988 Olympics.

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        Drassil
        Senior staff
        wrote on last edited by
        #295

        The outer garment that magically appeared on the Series 5 dungeoneer in Winteria has a label that reads: 'Share a cloak with Ben'.

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          phillwin
          wrote on last edited by
          #296

          lord fear take over from Treguard as Dungeon Master MOTLEY and FOLLY join together and become the new bad guy

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            Drassil
            Senior staff
            wrote on last edited by
            #297

            Treguard, while attending a memorial service for Merlin, draws a self-portrait of himself sitting next to Hordriss and Greystagg.

            The Chancellor of the Exchequer makes a speech consisting of mechanical whirrings and clockwork noises. It turns out to be the Automatum Statement.

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              TimeMaster
              wrote on last edited by
              #298

              The bearded man sat with an elf in the ante-chamber gives out presents and shouts "Ho Ho Ho" instead of guiding the dungeoneer into the dungeon.

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                Drassil
                Senior staff
                wrote on last edited by
                #299

                Overwhelmed by the success of one of his side projects, Treguard withdraws Floaty Skull from the Appe Fayre.

                Treguard, Mogdred, Merlin, Lord Fear, Morghanna, Malice, Mistress Goody, Hordriss, Aesandre, Greystagg, Maldame, Smirkenorff, Firestorm of Marblehead, Rodney, Falgo and the Little Scaramongers form an alliance against Julius Scaramonger when he is overheard saying, "Anything for you, cupcake" to one of his customers.

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                  Drassil
                  Senior staff
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #300

                  Akash nominates Lillith for the Ice Bucket Challenge.

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                    rachelesque
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #301

                    Completely OT and unfair, but I laugh whenever I see the abuse of the english language in the thread title from someone who, admittedly over 12 years later, is an english teacher

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                      Fidjit
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #302

                      Lord Fear increasing the size of his communications pool many times and he and Lissard are seen using it as a hot tub sipping on Pimms and lemonade

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                      • PookaP
                        PookaP
                        Pooka
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #303

                        Completely OT and unfair, but I laugh whenever I see the abuse of the english language in the thread title from someone who, admittedly over 12 years later, is an english teacher

                        Fixed. By another English teacher.

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                          Fidjit
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #304

                          Haha! Sorry for bumping this thread by the way I first saw this when I was 16 and I'm 28 now. I missed all these old classic threads

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                            Drassil
                            Senior staff
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #305

                            Completely OT and unfair, but I laugh whenever I see the abuse of the english language in the thread title from someone who, admittedly over 12 years later, is an english teacher

                            Fixed. By another English teacher.

                            As I see it, one member was showing appreciation of another member's deliberate yet ironic use of textspeak. Not sure anything needed fixing there, especially not nine months after Rachel's comment.

                            Haha! Sorry for bumping this thread by the way I first saw this when I was 16 and I'm 28 now. I missed all these old classic threads

                            That is nothing to apologise for, Glenn. You didn't really bump the thread as such: it was a side effect of you adding to it. The heyday of the forum's great humour threads may have passed, but at least us old-timers can look back on them together and still contribute when a new idea does pop into our heads. I'm glad you came back.

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                              Drassil
                              Senior staff
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #306

                              Cedric* swaps his quarterstaff for a crossbow and takes up hunting. Eventually he sets his sights on getting the head of a lion, only to be thwarted when it shoots laser beams at him.

                              *Played as ever by a dentist.

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                                Drassil
                                Senior staff
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #307

                                Following a CITV competition, the ferryman of the Dunswater is named Beau T. McBoatvisage.

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                                  Picklemyfav
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #308

                                   Fear is seen through the eyeglass gloating - and holding a white fluffy kitten

                                  Laughing at that one so hard..... i now have hiccups..... but then Lord Fear is an animal lover i am told.

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                                    Picklemyfav
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #309

                                    [*]majida lives in a teapot instead of a bottle

                                    ]

                                    And i can just picture Treguard having guests over and picking up the wrong teapot to pour. Majida will crack up at him.

                                    [*]someone puts in a 'DISMISS' spell for the dungeoneers to use for a laugh

                                    I'm laughing so hard at that one. Still got hiccups.

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                                      Picklemyfav
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #310

                                      So there stands Corbiss the Bemuser. Wary of the Angelic Eagle, "inundated with questions, questions, questions", hoping somehow to keep his allotment without losing the plot.

                                      After evading a flying piece of Igneous, the Angelic Eagle has fled, leaving only a feather behind. (Some say the eagle sought refuge with another wall monster, Granitas, who has returned to the dungeons after running an anti-Corbiss restaurant in Islington.) Corbiss the Bemuser turns the feather into a quill by using it to write a parchment to the new T. Bag (an empowered sister to Tallulah and Tabatha, thought to be named Theresa), urging her to consider the plight of the leopard when choosing her footwear. But after spilling ink over the parchment and finding his blotting paper inadequate, Corbiss abandons it and leaves for an engagement. Later, one of his ogres arrives and condemns the "****ing useless blotters" as he deals with the spillage. Whether he is happy to clean up Corbiss' mess, or doesn't even realise he's doing it, is unclear.

                                      Where did Corbiss go? Concerned for the structural integrity of the dungeon chambers, he attends a cube solidarity rally. He is later questioned about it by an elf of Elvandis (referred to by the tongue-tied as "Elvan-Davis") who brings news to knights. During this interview, Corbiss insists, "I don't do malice." A sorceress from Knightmare Series 4 would later remark, "I'd like to see him try!"

                                      As the interview concludes, the ogre arrives with a slice of Series 8 Life Force Pie (Corbiss felt sorry for it) and a cup of stinkwort tea. But he trips on another stray piece of Igneous and the contents of the tray go all over Corbiss. Blaming the equipment, the ogre rages about "****ing useless platters".

                                      "You could have done with protection against the platter," the cheeky elf says to Corbiss. "Where's a tray guard when you need it?"

                                      Pickle and Majida use the different helmets of justice and remake Robot Wars by building their own robots using said helmets and fighting each other. Skarkill gets invited to Lord Fear's castle for tea and finds out about Pickle and Majida remaking Robot Wars. Lord Fear decides to build a robot too as does Skarkill. Treguard decides to act as referee.

                                      After Pickle beats everyone else in the fight by running around and knocking all other fighters into the pit. The gang sit together and watch Robot Wars the new series on bbc 2.

                                      After the show ends Pickle asks Treguard and Lord Fear. "When is Knightmare coming back on?" They both reply. "I don't know. Still waiting on the phone call from Tim."

                                      While Lord Fear is at Treguard's castle Lissard has a little song and dance wearing a overly long robe of Lord Fear's. He has found a long blond wig and has decided to wear it with the robe. Corbiss the Bemuser comes in and remarks "that is a pretty lady" before grabbing Lissard on the chest causing Lissard to cry out. "Get off me you idiot i'm a guy."

                                      Corbiss the Bemuser decides to leave the castle.......... before Lissard lets Lord Fear know what happened......... but Lord Fear has just got the text from Lissard........ so Corbiss the Bemuser is being hunted down by Lord Fear as we speak......... Will he escape?

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                                        Picklemyfav
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #311

                                        Pickle has a university degree

                                        Pickle has got three university degrees and a HNC.

                                        He has a degree in spellcasting. One in joking about and winding people up. And one in midwife skills for some weird reason. His HNC is English. The language and how to teach it. He is studying for a HNC in media and one in toy making. He is getting a NC in maths as well.

                                        On meeting Lord Fear, he is drunk and offers to show you his little pet dragon

                                        Lord Fear is very friendly to folk when drunk. The problem is mainly that he can't pour the tea or cut a big slice of chocolate cake when drunk. He loves chocolate cake. Only saves it for honoured guests... if you're very lucky.... you might get a bit.

                                        The pet dragon likes to sit in people's laps and he has caused six fires today already. His name is Trident and he is a right fire breather when he gets excited. He hates having baths. Sometimes sand just doesn't get the mucky dragon clean.

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                                          Drassil
                                          Senior staff
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #312

                                          Brother Mace makes a joke in Latin, then immediately drops his mace and walks off.

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