Knightmare logo
  • Characters
    Powers that Be Opposition Unaligned
  • Dungeon
    Handpainted CGI Locations
  • Backstage
    Experiences Interviews History How Knightmare was made Convention
  • Fanzone
    Online Coverage Articles Magazines Fan projects
  • Series
    Series 2 Series 3 Series 4 Series 5 Series 6 Series 7 Series 8 Geek Week International Knightmare VR Series 1
  • Events
    Pre-2021 2021 2022 2023 2024 2025 2026
Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
Collapse
  1. Home
  2. Jester's Corner
  3. They would never say...

They would never say...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Jester's Corner
431 Posts 58 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • F
    F
    Fidjit
    wrote on last edited by
    #157

    Mogdred: '... Look upon Mogdred, and quail!'

    Dungeoneer: 'Erm, I'm sorry, I don't really know what 'quail' means. Do you know, guys?

    Advisers: 'No.'

    Adviser #2: 'Oh, actually, I did 'qu-' words last week at school... but I can't remember, sorry.'

    Dungeoneer: 'Is it the same as 'quiver''?

    Mogdred: 'Well, no, no, not really, that wasn't the exact implication I was going for. Er... we'd better clear this up. MERLIN!' [Merlin appears]

    Merlin: 'Ah, Mogdred. Nice to meet... I mean, long time no see.'

    Mogdred: 'Merlin, I burned my dictionary when we were at Wizard College together, if you recall.. what does 'quail' mean, exactly?'

    Merlin: 'Well, it signifies various types of bird. And, by implication, it can be taken to mean a courtesan...'

    Treguard: [Holds his head in his hands; mutters under his breath] D-I-S, M-I-S-S, pleeease...'

    Now that was funny  ;D


    Treguard: How do you get through a locked door with no key...

    Advisor No1: Don't be stupid, it's just a holographic lock... Watch... Walk FORWARD!

    SHRRAAAAKOOOOOW! (Dungeoneer melts...)

    Treguard: Oh dear, that was a bit shocking team...

    Advisor No3: Can you cut the terrible rhyming and puns already

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • F
      F
      Fidjit
      wrote on last edited by
      #158

      Giles enters the dungeon of series four, only to see that a "FOR-SALE" sign has been erected. Suddenly, Dooris appears, weeping as usual.

      Giles: What is the matter?

      Dooris: Ohh dead, dear, dear... Ohh this is terrible...

      Giles: I can see that... Why are you crying?

      Dooris: I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die...

      Giles Why? What's going on...

      Dooris: The dungeon is up for sale. I'm going to miss asking you questions and lowering myself to form your path...

      Giles: Not in this life time... Right! Treguard! TREGUARD! If  see another one of these again because you are getting sick of the designs see that I am going to D,I,S,M,I,S,S you...

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • SkarkillS
        SkarkillS
        Skarkill
        wrote on last edited by
        #159

        Fidjit is intoducing himself to a dungoneer.

        Fidjit: Fidjit's the name, Master Locksmith and Thief there's no door I can't...

        Voice of screen: HAY WHATS YOUR GAME THEN MATTY ?

        Motley: Its my job to help Helmet Heads like him through the dungon. So go on get out of it.

        Fidjit: But?

        Tregaurd: OHHH NASTY

        Dungeoneer: Whats happaning guys ?

        Advisors: Errr Motley just cloberd  Fidjit.

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • JamesAJ
          JamesAJ
          JamesA
          wrote on last edited by
          #160

          Series 7, Level 3 or Series 8, Level 2

          Dungeoneer: "Stuff the boat ride, I'm going for a nice swim in the Sewers of Goth!"

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • D
            D
            Drassil
            Senior staff
            wrote on last edited by
            #161

            Treguard: 'Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be, Meatloaf.'

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • E
              E
              Emii
              wrote on last edited by
              #162

              ADVISOR: Right, you're in Marblehead now...

              LORD FEAR: Ahh...I've been waiting for you, adventurer - I have a proposition for you.

              DUNGEONEER: suspicious What's that?

              LORD FEAR: Let's say we put all this feuding behind us - live as one in the Knightmare realm. What do you say?

              DUNGEONEER: You what?

              LORD FEAR: Sit! Please do! Tea and scones, nonetheless - one lump or two?

              DUNGEONEER: Tea? And scones? With you?

              LORD FEAR: Come, come - don't you think this is all a bit childish now? We could put our minds to greater things!

              DUNGEONEER: thoughtfully Well...I HAVE been wanting to learn Shakespeare...

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • ?
                ?
                Guest
                wrote on last edited by
                #163

                Dungeoneer takes food from table in S3 clue room

                Brangwen: Halt, who dares to steal from the Brangwen-She? Turn and face me dungeoneer

                Treguard: Better do as she says team

                Advisors: Why? Its a wall with a face, keep taking the stuff and then take left door please

                Dungeoneer: OK takes food and clue items

                Brangwen: ahem! You do not know which objects to take without my help fool.

                Dungeoneer: Well, I will just guess

                Brangwen: Thats it your quest has ended Bong!

                Advisors: sidestep right please

                Brangwen: I said the quest has ended

                Advisors: Yes and like we said you are a WALL, what are you going to do exactly?

                Brangwen: Grr I can be very annoying if i want

                Advisors: Right again Leaves Room

                Brangwen: now I know how a weeping door feels sniffs

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • F
                  F
                  Fidjit
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #164

                  Errr Motley just clobbered  Fidjit

                  Hehe yep!


                  Dungeoneer: There's a Spyglass...

                  Advisor: Hold it up in front of the Eye-Shield...

                  (Inside is Lord Fear)

                  Lord Fear: SKARKILL, SKARKILL! I need a private conversation with you pronto..!

                  Skarkill: Err, yes sir!

                  Lord Fear: And just in case you can't force your way past the Blocker, the password is "CRYSTAL"

                  Skarkill: Yes, yer lord!

                  Lord Fear: Wait a tick... OH for christ sake... Can you pathetic people stop spying on me. God! Jeez! I refuse to take a shower now that you lot have spyglasses...

                  Treguard: Lord Fear! This is part of the game and...

                  Lord Fear: Yes, I know that you bearded fool! But why don't you look at someone else for once! Whats so interesting about me anyway? Can't  have any privacy even in those rare off duty moments...

                  Treguard: All right fine! Team get your dungeoneer to throw the spyglass on the floor and stamp on it...

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • SkarkillS
                    SkarkillS
                    Skarkill
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #165

                    Posted by: Skarkill on: Dec 11th, 2003, 2:57pm

                    Fidjit is intoducing himself to a dungoneer.

                    Fidjit: Fidjit's the name, Master Locksmith and Thief there's no door I can't...

                    Voice of screen: HAY WHATS YOUR GAME THEN MATTY ?

                    Motley: Its my job to help Helmet Heads like him through the dungon. So go on get out of it.

                    Fidjit: But?

                    Tregaurd: OHHH NASTY

                    Dungeoneer: Whats happaning guys ?

                    Advisors: Errr Motley just cloberd  Fidjit.

                    Posted by: Motley Today at 12:37pm

                    Errr Motley just clobbered  Fidjit  

                    Hehe yep!

                    And The Moral of that story is.....

                    DON'T MESS WITH MOTLEY'S JOB.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • F
                      F
                      Fidjit
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #166

                      Skarkill... If you wanna quote another post just hit the "QUOTE" button above the post selected

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • SkarkillS
                        SkarkillS
                        Skarkill
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #167

                        Thanks For The Tip Mate.  😉

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • F
                          F
                          Fidjit
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #168

                          My Pleasure Skarkill!  😉

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • S
                            S
                            Scott_Wilkinson
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #169

                            Elita - "You'll have to pass Aesandre, old Icy Knickers."

                            Dungeoneer - "How do you know she's wearing any?"

                                         (Cheeky, ain't I?)  


                            Treguard - "Your quest is for the bucket, please retrieve it. We have a leak in the roof."


                            Treguard(In series - "Take your time team, your life force never fades. It's only a piece of cake that turns into a full cake when you find food."

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • D
                              D
                              Drassil
                              Senior staff
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #170

                              Dungeoneer to Golgarach after getting all three questions right:

                              'I command you... to smile! Come on, turn that frown upside down! Can't you feel the love in this somewhat stale air? Oh - I see a smile comiiing... No? Just a little smile? No-No, don't fade away, don't... Oh FINE! I command you to FIND A HEART!! [Pause] OK, guys: table, clues, choices, now. Ooh, I'm not a happy bunny anymore!'

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • E
                                E
                                Emii
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #171

                                CAPSLOCKSCOTT in the dungeons:

                                "WHERE AM I?"

                                "The corridor of blades."

                                "OH."

                                swish...chop

                                ...pity, really.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • F
                                  F
                                  FrightKnight
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #172

                                  I wouldn't pity him...

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • E
                                    E
                                    Emii
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #173

                                    I wouldn't pity him...

                                    I didn't say I'd pity him! The title of the thread is "They would NEVER say..." I meant it's a pity it would never happen!

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • T
                                      T
                                      Tom41
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #174

                                      Lord Fear: Keep on looking through the spyglass for as long as you like! I don't mind you hearing all my secrets...

                                      Treguard: Life force increasing team, stay a while.

                                      Ooh, Nasty! Spellcasting, B-O-G-O-F-F...


                                      Enter, Stranger... Who challenges the dungeon?

                                      (dungeoneer gives name)

                                      Your challenge is refused. Go away.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • E
                                        E
                                        Emii
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #175

                                        [Empty original post]

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • K
                                          K
                                          King_Gazz
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #176

                                          Treguard telling Lord Fear to F off

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0

                                          Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.

                                          Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.

                                          With your input, this post could be even better 💗

                                          Register Login
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.

                                          The Team

                                          Join
                                          Submissions
                                          Contact
                                          KM Chat
                                          Privacy Policy

                                          The Site

                                          About
                                          Search
                                          Site Map
                                          Terms & Conditions
                                          Q&A

                                          Keep up-to-date with Knightmare news:
                                          Visit KnightmareTV on X Visit KnightmareTV on Facebook Visit KnightmareTV on YouTube Receive Browser Notifications See our RSS Feed
                                          © Copyright Knightmare.com 1999-2026. All Rights Reserved. Moral rights are asserted.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups