They would never say...
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Wall Puzzle -
"What is the Quadratic Equation Of celsius Pie?"
Guard: Halt - None Shall Pass Without Gold
Dungeoneer: I have gold for you
Gives Gold To Guard
Dungeoneer Tries To Pass
Guard: NONE SHALL PASS WITHOUT GOLD
Dungeoneer: But I Just Gave You The Gold
Guard: No, You Need To HAVE The Gold To Pass.
Gives Gold Back
Guard: Shall We Try This Again?
Treguard: Err... Cauppacinno with some of those cheesy biscuits..
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http://knightmare.com/series/3/170.jpg
"I can't believe its not butter!" I like that one!
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Lissard to Lord Fear: 'Sssssso long, and thanksssss for all the fish.'
-
Brother Mace: "Resistance is useless!"
On a side note, I urge all right-thinking Knightmare fans to watch Hitchhikers Guide on BBC2 tonight (10th May 2005) As Michael Cule, Rayner Bourton and David Learner all appear in tonight's episode.
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Treguard: 'Oooh, https://www.bing.com/mapspreview?mmclassic=browse&lat=51.9012&lon=-0.0278&scale=100000&icon=x !'
Treguard: 'This is your knapsack - that's right, sling it over your shoulder - for any food you find. It will restore your energy, but in this phase of the Dungeon, it's not without waste. So here is your crapsack. When it feels full, be sure to empty it, or you risk Life Force damage...'
Treguard: Come in, stranger!
[Instead of a child, Richard O'Brien enters, followed by six breathless, shell-suited adults.]
Richard: Righto, team, what will the next game in the Mediaeval Zone be?
Team captain: Uh... I think we'll have a Mystery...
Richard: A Mystery game! And who's to play this Mystery game?
Team captain: Uh... Shaun!
Richard: Shaun to play a Mystery game!
[Richard drags one of the team across the antechamber, to the Dungeon entrance. The others run over too, and giggle. He pulls a sand-timer out of his jacket.]
Richard: Shaun, you have two minutes from the very second you're through the door. Go!
[Shaun is pushed into the Dungeon. The others watch on the magic mirror as he appears in the Corridor of Blades, and all shout at once. Treguard groans.]
Richard: [Turning to Treguard.] Oh, it's not so bad. It could have been a Fort Boyard crossover. [Begins to play his harmonica.]
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Brilliant Drassil! I can picture it all in my head- two great elements of knightmare and crystal maze in one.
lol Richard O'Brien might seem a little insensitive if he was to continue playing that harmonica when poor old shaun bites the blades. Then again, it would be great if he were to do a harmonica encore to 'ooh nasty'.
Back to they would never say:
Treguard in antechamber: Pickle! Don't worry yourself, I'll get it.
Pickle: No! I insist master I'll get the questbook.
Treguard: No, I'll get it.
Pickle: No, I always keep the watchers updated on quest progress master its my job.
Treguard: Its ok, I'll get it.
They simultaneously grab the book and start having a tug of war over the pages- gradually ripping the book to shreds
By this time, the advisors are already fed up with waiting and on their way home.
Treguard: Ahhhh, they've gone, we can stop our pretend fighting now. A day off from being dungeonmaster at last.
Pickle: A day off from being your ****** assistant!
Treguard: shush elf or I really will rip your ears off next time!
-
Enter... Stranger
Tregurad looks puzzled... there is no dungeneer at the door
Thats strange, where is the dungeoneer?
The advisors all look at Treguard, then at the door
What, Is there something on my shoe?
Treguard looks down, and there is a reeeeaaally small person in the doorway
Oh.... Err
Pulls out pocket radio
This is roger niner Tetley Bravo, we need a smaller helmet over...
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Pickle: [Addressing the Watchers] I say, you lot. Don't go.
Treguard: What's the matter, you silly sprite? I thought you didn't like the Watchers.
Pickle: I get lonely trying to sleep here, Master. It's worse than an NES hospital ward.
Treguard: NES?
Pickle: National Elf Service.
Treguard: [Keeling over at the awful pun] Aaagh... now I need a hospital. Will the NES have a bed for me?
Pickle: There is a bed. There's always a bed. But it won't be easy to find...
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I thin I need a doctor too after that one.
Treguard probably wouldnt shout MONKEY! at the Dungeoneer every time they took a step
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Lord Fear would not came to the antechamber singing Rainbow's "I surrender"
Nor would he say "My car's broken down. Can I use your phone and where's the bathroom?"
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I was just looking through some of the older pages of this thread, and I just realized, no-one got zzt's 'barrel roll' reference back on page 24! It's lylat Wars, isn't it? It is, isn't it?
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From the early series-
Treguard-"I assume you have some previous experience of quests?"
Dungeoneer- "Yes, I do."
Treguard-"I don't believe you. In these PC days when kids are not even allowed to play conkers at school, I fail to believe you have expereince of tackling catacombites, drunken knights and mystic floating bombs, now get out of my sight for lying!"
In Lilith's chamber-
Lilith"What do you bring me to pass?"
Dungeoneer-"You live in a rocky cave with no furniture, I fail to belive your standard of living will be improved by a ruby or silken glove"
On encountering Mogdred (RIP John)
Mogdred-"Look upon Mogdred and quail!"
Dungeoneer-"I am wearing a helmet that prevents me from seeing anything that is more that 4 steps away, and besides, that hat removes any fear that your voice can enduce"
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Dungeoneer: I challenge!
Cedric: Challenge accepted! Now leesten very carefully, I shall say thees only vonce...
Treguard: ..or will the Dungeon win once more? And if so, why should you care? I don't.
[A Season One dungeoneer has died, and we see the team in the lands beyond the castle]
Treguard (singing): Up above the streets and houses, rainbow, shining high!
Mogdred: Look upon Mogdred, look upon Mogdred and tell me how pretty I am...
Merlin: Spellcasting! D-I-S-C-O!
The raven: The second step is the conga! Rharrrk!
[A dungeoneer has died under less than difficult circumstances]
Treguard: Oooh, stupid! Spellcasting... I-D-I-O-T-S
Casper: Hello there, I'm Casper, and I'll be your fourth advisor for the next few rooms. Treguard needs the break.
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Lissard - "Having more troubles with the pool of varacity, Lordness?"
Lord Fear - "Yes, Lissard. Now, I'm gonna tell you this one last time. Don't use this for a toilet, you've messed it all up!!!"
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Brollachan: It's just a jump to your left,
Dungeoneer: and then a step to your ri------ght,
Brollachan: Put your hand on your hips,
Dungeoneer: And bend your knees in ti---me,
etc, etc.
Knightmare- the musical!!!
coming soon to the London Palladium!
It would work- I fancy putting a rap beat to half of the Knightmare dialogues- most of them rhymed!!
You can just see it- Assassins in the 'hoods, and sylvester nicking all da bling!!!
now- they would never say that!!!
however, Norwich seems to be quite chavved out!
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