They would never say...
-
Neil's advisors in series two:
"Great work team. We certainly cast a shroud over our opponents with our triumph in the Annual County Spelling Championship. This will put us in fine fettle to take on the Knightmare dungeon."
-
Treguard: For the love of all that is holy... Dispel: S, R, E, T, S, P, I, H!
(Lying awake in bed. Every night. In vain.)
-
[Fatilla's the Hun's only friend in the realm, the unnamed ogre that appears a couple of times in Series 4, has learned that Fatilla has a taste for sheep droppings (as hinted at in Quest 2). To cheer Fatilla up after the JOKE spell (Quest 7) wears off, the ogre fills a bag with sheep droppings and gives it to Fatilla.]
Ogre: I know you prefer the poo of rams but I could only find female sheep. Is that alright, Fatilla?
[Fatilla is very glum and not really listening properly.]
Fatilla: Didn't catch all of that.
Ogre: Ewe OK hun?
-
Treguard: Do not expect the Brangwen Shee to look pleased at your success, team. Nor at your failure. She has "resting b**** face".
-
Treguard: Play fair, or Fear play foul, all begins again at the allotted h- no, wait, that doesn't rhyme. Play fair, or Fear commit crime, all... no, that won't do. Erm... take care of yourselves. And each other.
Hordriss: WHAT IS THIS ONE DOESN'T EVEN
-
Treguard: Oh for Christ's sake team, surely you know this one
Merlin: Understand that those steps were needed. The builders weren't available on time to finish the room so we had to improvise
Gretel: silence (Unconscious, surrounded by her own teeth with a broken nose and a baseball bat sticking out of her mouth!)
Hordriss: Patience my young adventurer, one needs to light this joint before continuing...
-
Treguard: I wouldn't take that path team it's closed for resurfacing.
Treguard: This lady team is Mellisandre, the village mule, everyone has has a ride except the local jester.
Treguard: Are any of you three epileptic? Yes? Then I suggest you tell Julian to put the bottle down and just leave team.
Pickle: Coming through the door holding a parcel Your Amazon package has just arrived master.
Pickle: Wow! Either The Great Rift of Angar
has got longer and bigger... or Smirkenorff is having a bad diarrhoea day!
Pickle: Looking up at Treguard, almost a whisper Shall I fetch a can from the fridge master??
Pickle: Team approach Doorkis Well, I've already shown you what to do here team, I'm just popping off for a quick shower. I should be back before you finish, but if not, go through Dunkley Woods, watch out for Ariadne, and don't get killed. Won't be a tick...
Pickle: Christ, I feel a big dump coming on here!
Smirkenorff: Romanha, in the advertisement I specifically asked for a guardian, not a nanny!
Lissard: To Lord Fear No offence lordnesssssss, but if you're so clevernesssssss why don't you come up with a plan and do it yourself!
Lord Fear: The Sewers Of Goth! Miles upon miles of the filthiest stench and sewage. Impenetrable, except for a single rowing boat I conveniently left in the open!
Greystagg: Over a sort of tannoy system Good morning, this is a sister announcement, could whoever is leaving the front door open please shut it as dungeoneers, fruit sellers and double-glazing salesman keep getting in. Thank you.
Greystagg: Well WILL have revenge on you Fear! Witchaven, as you well know is all but destroyed...
Lord Fear: Oh it was me! Sorry I got so wasted last night I couldn't even remember if it was me or Raptor who defiled Heggartys' drawers. So glad I reminded him to bring a bag!
-
Treguard: Play fair, or Fear play foul, all begins again at the allotted h- no, wait, that doesn't rhyme. Play fair, or Fear commit crime, all... no, that won't do. Erm... take care of yourselves. And each other.
Treguard: And Pickle... write me a version that scans and rhymes.
Pickle: At once, master.
[A few moments later, Pickle hands Treguard a new parchment to read from.]
Treguard: 'Play thee fair, or Fear play foul / Game on's at the allotted owl.' Allotted owl?! What manner of nonsense is this? "Ah, here's the designated nocturnal bird, good, we can resume play."
Pickle: Well, if Fear's playing fowl...
Treguard: Are you trying to make an oaf of me, elf? Explain yourself. What kind of twit would allot an owl? Who?
Pickle: Twit... who...
-
Advisor: "I'm hungry."
-
McGrew: "Taran-tara, och aye the noo, 'tis bold McGrew to dance for you."
-
Gargoyle from Season 3: "Peril is the reward of ignorance. Which is why I wished I'd died after ignorantly nutting this wall and getting my head stuck here..."
Dungeoneer: (standing by the Sewers of Goth
"Did somebody fart in here?"Greystagg: It's my time of the month and you bring me Witch Amber?! Where is the chocolate ice cream and my Twilight box set you ignorant fool!
-
Advisor: "Spellcasting: Haitch-"
Treguard: "No."
-
KMDF: There is no way that exactly twenty years on Fidjit would ever come back to the forum!
Happy 20th anniversary, Glenn. Thanks for remembering us and Knightmare. We certainly remember you! Not forgetting that you weren't named Fidjit in the beginning.
-
Brangwen: Please don't rush to answer. Take your time; talk it over. You've got this.
Frightknights in Series 5: Sorry, Lord Fear! We'll keep still and be quiet right away.
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login