They would never say...
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Series 1, Team 1
Advisors: Ok your in a room with a table and their are some objects on it, walk towards it
Dungeoneer: Ok the objects are a tax audit and other forms, an ink well and a quill and some reading glasses.
Treguard: Oh no team! The fiendish puzzle of the table of tax!
Advisors and Dungeoneer work out the tax forms and complete it just as life force becomes critical
Treguard: Well done team, you've done my taxes! Muwahahahha. You see their never was anything called Knightmare, i just hate doing taxes.
Runs away laughing
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Series 8, team 6...in the Fireball Alley.
Treguard: Oh look, team, it's the short cut to level 3...
Dunstan: Stuff this. If I'm going to win the quest I'm going to do it fair and square. Where's the exit for level 2?
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Forgive my ignorance, but could someone please explain who Barry is, and why he is so significant? I'm assuming that he was an unusually talkative Dungeoneer from one of the later series. Thank you in advance.
Julie is mentioned a lot on this Forum too, but fortunately I remember who she is!
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"Say hello to the gobins Jule and ask if they'd like a present..."
That is a daft thing to say really... Especially when you know that the goblins are going to beat, stab and hack you to death...
If I were them I'd hurl the emerald at them...
Anyway, back to business...
LORD FEAR: Let's be friends...!
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"Say hello to the gobins Jule and ask if they'd like a present..."
That is a daft thing to say really... Especially when you know that the goblins are going to beat, stab and hack you to death...
Unless of course they were called Chris.
LF to Lissard: Aaaaahhhh your breath smells really nice and fresh. Have you been into those dragon mints? Well atleast those pesky dungeoneers can't get them if you have.
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Forgive my ignorance, but could someone please explain who Barry is, and why he is so significant?
Please?
In return, you can read this:
Dungeoneer: 'Treguard, would you like to do this quest instead?'
Treguard: 'No, you go.'
Dungeoneer: 'Hugo, would you like to do this quest instead?'
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Right, Drassil - see Barry Topic
Thank you!

A Dungeoneer has died. Treguard is about to send the Team on its way, when a squad of cheerleaders (including Mellisandre, Gretel, Elita and Velda) cartwheel in and begin to chant:
'Oh dear you have lost the quest
Time to go back to Skegness
Gimme a D!
Give me an I!
Gimme and S!... and M!
Give me another I!
Gimme and S!
Gimme another S!
What does it spell?
Diiiiiiiis-miss! Woo!'
Treguard: 'Ladies, if you don't mind...'
Pickle: 'I rather like them, Master.'
Treguard: 'No-one asked you, Pickle.'
-
Dungeoneer: '...And there's a scroll on the table.'
Advisor: 'OK, read it then.'
Dungeoneer: 'It says... Stop Bush.'
[Pause]
Advisor: 'Alright, take the silver, and the topiary potion.'
Dungeoneer: 'There's a spyglass.'
Advisor: 'Look through it.'
[Michael Howard appears in the spyglass.]
Treguard: 'Ah, Team, this is the leader of the Opposition, for this phase at least. And, rather fittingly, he is rumoured to have something of the frightknight about him.'
Pickle: 'Wasn't it Mrs. Grimwold who said that?'
Howard [looking into his crystal ball]: 'Scargill? Scargill! Where are you?'
-
Treguard: The book, Pickle.
Pickle: Yes, Master. 'Jill stared with thrilled joy into Doug's eyes, turning the air in the boudoir to pure bliss. This, for a day or a decade, was love. As their beating hearts hammered out a treaty of mutual happiness, he slowly took...'
Treguard: No no, Pickle, the other book. The one with the quests?
Pickle: Oh. Of course.
Treguard: "Yes, Pickle, while the advisors are frozen by Temporal Disruption, let's amuse ourselves by putting them in silly poses and using them as coat racks... [turns to camera and the Watchers at home] ... Oh, you're still here? Gosh, what are you still watching this tripe for? There was something good on Children's BBC too. Anyway, don't bother tuning in next week since I'm giving up this crappy job and going to Benidorm with Mellisandre and opening my own tattoo parlour. [puts on summer hat and exits]
And when Treguard gets there, he strokes the paella out his beard, looks out over the water and sighs, 'Ooooh... vast sea.'
[A Dungeoneer got attacked by Ariadne whilst a spell was being cast, and the Team lost. Outside the TV studio, Hugo Myatt bids them farewell.]
HM: 'Goodbye, Team. Sorry about the spider bite. I hope it's not too serious.'
Former Dungeoneer: 'It's OK, Mr. Myatt. I don't feel ill. I'm sure it's fine. Bye. [He shoots web fluid from his wrist and swings away.]
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