I'm trying very hard not to just start squealing like a giddy schoolgirl.

My Sky+ box is going to be busy. I can see at least 18 shows I want to keep.

Is that what we ate? gag

Yes, hello and welcome. I am dark Descender, romanticist, femenist and also from Oop North although I'm a Yorkshire lad rather than Stoke on trent and I don't remember ever watching Mysterious Cities, but it sounds jolly interesting and oh my, this soup is delicious, don't you agree?

Enjoy yourself.

But who is truly the sane one here? Is it you, with a job, a car, and a happy home life? Or is it me, in my underpants, covered in Marmite and inventing new swearwords to shout at pigeons? Oh, yes, it's you.

Yes, hello and welcome. I am dark Descender, romanticist, femenist and I'm not shouting!

All right, I am. I'm shouting, I'm shouting, Im shouting!

Enjoy yourself.

Yes, hello and welcome. I am dark Descender, romanticist, femenist and I'ma firin' mah lazor.

But yeah, charity shops and car boot sales are your best bet.

Enjoy yourself.

I can only apologize. Over and over and over again.

Just a note to say i've recently deleted my fic "The Other Side Of The Greater Game" as it was very bad and horrible and I was very ashamed of it. My only excuse is 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'.

O.K. Thanks for the answer.

Season 8.

There is a knock at the door. Treguard answers. It's a young woman in a red outfit.

"da-da da da da da! I am your Singing Telegram..."

Treguard shoots her and slams the door.

Mrs. Peacock was a man?!

But yeah, it's always makes me feel good when someone gets the reference.

Well I tried, but you're just too smart for me.

Yes, it was horrible, wasn't it?

Yes, hello and welcome to the Knightmare forums. I am dark Descender, romanticist, femenist, and here at the forums we all have one thing in common: We're all being blackmailed and nobody knows who's blackmailing us. Enjoy yourself.

About my earlier post regarding Michael Cule in 'Dirty Weekend' I've just discovered the entire scene is up for viewing on Youtube. However, I'm not sure if it's allright for me to post a link due to the graphic nature of the scene. Could anyone answer this for me?

You can't see me right now, but I'm doing that 'we're not worthy' pose thing from Wayne's World. That's how impressed I am.

Yes, hello and welcome. I am dark Descender, romanticist, femenist and I have sworn revenge against the fashion industry, ever since my parents were killed by rogue fashion designer Carlsberg Lagertop. Will you join me in my quest for...wait a second...

Flashback

Mama! Papa!

• Flashback*

It was youuuuuuuu!!!

Draws guns

Let me give you a smoking hot welcome!

Oh. And enjoy yourself.

Well, I am genuinely sad that he's died. He was a great wrestler.

Yes, hello and welcome. I am dark Descender, romanticist, femenist and in mourning for the Macho Man Randy Savage.. Enjoy yourself.

While we're on the subject of Michael Cule, I've just discovered a charming little film called 'Dirty Weekend', a film which features Michael Cule having distressingly graphic sex with a woman before being brutally murdered. Yes, it really is as horrific as it sounds.

I apologize for my outrageous faux pas.