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  3. Knightmare adverts

Knightmare adverts

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  • M
    M
    MPK
    wrote on last edited by
    #5

    For some reason, I just thought of Lord Fear doing a commercial for one of those Ab-belt type thingys!

    "Im wearing one right now!" 😮

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    • E
      E
      Emii
      wrote on last edited by
      #6

      cracks up

      "You can bearly see it under my metal armour - I can even go shopping for my evil purposes in it, and it tones my stomach at the SAME TIME!"

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      • S
        S
        Snowwiewolf
        wrote on last edited by
        #7

        The world needs more people like you!  ;D

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        • J
          J
          Jebstar
          wrote on last edited by
          #8

          I think treguard could sell eyeliner and fake tan, but I feel bad for saying that because I'm such a fan.  😢

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          • M
            M
            Moocowthingy
            wrote on last edited by
            #9

            Hmmm.... Festus advertising Pedigree dog food?

            (sorry thats the only one I could think of....)

            As we dont know what Festus looks like maybe Mrs G would be better in the advert.  I can just see the advert now with Mrs G shouting SHUT UP FESTUS all the way through it as she held up different flavoured tins.  The saying at the end could be, 8 out of 10 dirty old bit.ches said thier dog preffered it.

            Im actualy finding it quite hard to think of more, maybe its more difficult than I thought.  ONly new one I got is Mellisandra for Persil ( Persil washes whiter ), but thats not even funny .

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              F
              Fidjit
              wrote on last edited by
              #10

              I like my whites white

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                G
                GrimaldineGrimwold
                wrote on last edited by
                #11

                As we dont know what Festus looks like maybe Mrs G would be better in the advert.

                Ooh, that does sound nice, dearie. I've been looking for some new TV work since about 1989. Do tell me more.

                I can just see the advert now with Mrs G shouting SHUT UP FESTUS all the way through it as she held up different flavoured tins.

                Oooh, I think I could remember my lines without too much bother then, dearie.

                The saying at the end could be, 8 out of 10 dirty old bit.ches said thier dog preffered it.

                Hey, that's harassment, that is. I'm calling the Wolfenden Constabulary. You'd better start running now, dearie. They'll have cordons up at the exits to Level One within the hour.

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                • M
                  M
                  Malefact
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #12

                  Honesty Bartrum flogging mobile phones: "We'll find the right phones for you but don't tell your dad!"

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                  • D
                    D
                    Dublex
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #13

                    How about:

                    Fightknights for an electric can opener device

                    Lilyth for hosting the new series of the weakest link:

                    "Ann Robinson you are the weakest link, nice of you to drop by" podium crumbles into a hole

                    Morgdred for wizardly evil Keep fit instruction "Welcome to Morgdreds keep fit play pens.. play forever..."

                    Last but not least, the Dragon for BA adverts

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                      F
                      Fidjit
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #14

                      Treguard's Contact Lenses:

                      "Guarantees you stare capabilities and pallet complexion"

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                        123Pooka
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #15

                        There's a chance this kind of topic might have already been done but I couldn't remember:

                        So who would be good at advertising what?

                        I'll try and start off on something-

                        • Lord Fear and eyeshadow. Possible slogan: "I'm gonna MAKE you buy this if its THE LAST THING I DO!"

                        • Motley: car insurance

                        • Greystagg: Herbal essence?

                        • Pickle: strictly come dancing

                        There must be plenty of others

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                        • M
                          M
                          Malefact
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #16

                          There's the old chesnut involving Smirkenorf advertising for vodka.

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                            123Pooka
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #17

                            Smirkenorff ice! I remember that!

                            Perhaps you could have brother mace advertising a green alcoholic drink that resembles Atruscan brandy-

                            maybe VK apple Or Aftershock?

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                            • D
                              D
                              dontyoulikemypie
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #18

                              Mrs Grimwold and Festus advertising dog food

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                                T
                                Thanatos
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #19

                                Brother Mace: alcohol (especially brandy)

                                Sylvester Hands: alcohol (especially ale), rope

                                Skarkill: ironmongery

                                Elita: anything the manufacturers want people not to buy

                                Aesandre: Smirnoff Ice

                                Lissard: sardines

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                                  D
                                  Drassil
                                  Senior staff
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #20

                                  Is anyone familiar with the Victor Kayam TV advert for Remmington shavers? Appearing in the ad, he says 'Hi, I'm Victor Kayam...'; he then talks about the shaver; and that's followed by the remark '...I liked it so much, I bought the company!'

                                  How about Treguard appearing in an ad for Knightmare, saying something parodic like: 'Hi. I'm the victor of KM. I conquered the Dungeon many years ago; and I liked it so much, I bought the castle! I invite you to come and take up the challenge... even if you're not old enough to shave.'

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                                  • L
                                    L
                                    LordF
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #21

                                    Skarkill: Health Insurance

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                                      F
                                      Fidjit
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #22

                                      Elita: anything the manufacturers want people not to buy

                                      Skodas

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                                      • 1
                                        1
                                        123Pooka
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #23

                                        You could have Hugo Myatt enter one of those orange conference-style adverts. Hugo could be stating his interest in making a knightmare film where Lord Fear and him battle in a one-on-one fight.

                                        Hugo starts talking, but is quickly interrupted:

                                        "Its starts off when I pick up a dungeon spyglass..."

                                        One of the guys from the executive Orange team interrupts with:

                                        "who needs spyglasses now when you have mobile phones- you could phone him, or leave him a message on his voicemail!"

                                        Hugo starts to worry:

                                        "But you won't get a signal in the dungeon!"

                                        Orange man:

                                        "You don't have to set it in a dungeon- why not a city"

                                        Another Orange man:

                                        "Yeah the film could be renamed industrial knightmare!"

                                        Rest of Orange team agree but Treguard walks off in a huff and bangs his head on the doorframe on his way out.

                                        Orange man in background: "Oooooooh, that IS nasty"

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                                          F
                                          Fishsta
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #24

                                          You could have Hugo Myatt enter one of those orange conference-style adverts. Hugo could be stating his interest in making a knightmare film where Lord Fear and him battle in a one-on-one fight.

                                          Hugo starts talking, but is quickly interrupted:

                                          "Its starts off when I pick up a dungeon spyglass..."

                                          One of the guys from the executive Orange team interrupts with:

                                          "who needs spyglasses now when you have mobile phones- you could phone him, or leave him a message on his voicemail!"

                                          Hugo starts to worry:

                                          "But you won't get a signal in the dungeon!"

                                          Orange man:

                                          "You don't have to set it in a dungeon- why not a city"

                                          Another Orange man:

                                          "Yeah the film could be renamed industrial knightmare!"

                                          Rest of Orange team agree but Treguard walks off in a huff and bangs his head on the doorframe on his way out.

                                          Orange man in background: "Oooooooh, that IS nasty"

                                          Laugh.

                                          My.

                                          Buns.

                                          Off.

                                          Classic.

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