They would never say...
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Yeah, I've got no problems with it
I did some forum roaming to find out what other fan based forums do for fun (other fan bases, mind) and decided to nick some ideas. Other things that have been done, past or present, are:
Things you will never SEE in the dungeons
You know someone's been messing with the dungeons when...
and
A Great Knightmare Joke
There undoubtedly more - if people would like to remember them and let this good person HStorm know I'm sure he'd be very grateful
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It's http://havetstorm.tripod.com/knightmare/index.html, Bob.
And yes please. Anyone who can send me some articles of the type that Emii's suggesting here, I'll be delighted. They'd be absolutely perfect for my site.
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Motley: 'Hello, Sylvester Hands.'
Sidriss: 'Greystagg. We meet at last.'
Merlin: 'Mogdred, a word in your ear...'
Elita: 'You know, Pixel, you're really annoying!'
Brother Mace: 'Ah, Gatemaster. May I introduce myself?'
Gwendoline: 'Why have you kidnapped me, Aesandre? Answer me!'
Lord Fear: 'No, Sir Hugh, I don't need rescuing.'
Blocker: 'Please enter your PIN.'
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Okay, I've added the transcript to my page. It's in the Just For Laughs section at http://havetstorm.tripod.com/knightmare/index.html
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[Treguard enters the antechamber at the beginning of Series 7.]
Treguard: 'Pickle? Pickle? Where has that elf got to?'
Pickle: [running in] 'Here, Master.'
Treguard: 'Ah. I thought you'd run away to the Green Wood after that argument we had. I regret some of what I said, you know.'
Pickle: 'No problem, Master. I enjoy the quests too much to leave. I hope to stay here for another two years at least, and maybe even come back in virtual form a few years from now.'
Treguard: 'Most acceptable, Pickle. Look: someone's left a bottle on the table.'
Pickle: 'It wasn't me, Master. I expect it's just rubbish. I'll chuck it into the Sewers of Goth the first chance I get.'
Treguard: 'Excellent.'
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A dungeoneer enters clue room... On the table is a gem, a pie, an hourglass and a bone: (Series 3 Team 12)
James: First of all pick up the food
Chris: Stuff this I'll take everything
(DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE FRIGHTKNIGHT?)
Oh we've hit eleven pages on this topic!!!
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Yes I did Motley!
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Motley: 'Did you get my message, Frightknight?'
Frightknight: 'Yes I did, Motley'
Now there is an exchange which would never happen on Knightmare!
Moving on...
Dooris: 'The Odyssey was written before the Iliad. True or false?'
Adviser #1: 'I think it's true. Definitely true.'
Adviser #3: 'You sure?'
Adviser #1: 'Yeah, cos...'
Adviser #2: 'Perhaps it's false.'
[Treguard coughs]
Adviser #3: 'Yes, maybe it's false.'
[Treguard coughs]
Advisers: 'OK, let's go with false.'
Pickle: 'Would you like a cough sweet, Master?'
Treguard: [snaps] 'No, Pickle! And I told you, it's an allergic reaction to the dust in the antechamber!'
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Treguard: 'You know, Majida, you claim to be a genie, but you've never granted me any wishes.'
Majida: 'OK, OK. Three wishes you have. Take some time to think abou-'
[Pickle appears in the antechamber; Majida disappears and reappears in the Corridor of Blades; Hordriss appears in a Hawaiian shirt and jeans, and dances.]
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Majida: He is too easy, this is not hard enough
All look at her in shock
Majida: Well I had to learn proper English sooner or later you know
Dungeoneer is adventuring when suddenly they see a strange group
Advisors: Ok it appears to be a Dwarf, an Elf, a wizard, 2 men and some hobbits.
Goblin horn sounds
Gandalf: Quick we must flee from the goblins
Dungeoneer: That is the way to level 2 though!
Goblins chase fellowship and dungeoneer over Moria, Gandalf is attacked by Balrog and falls down bridge as Skarkill watches
Skarkill: Lovely!
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Dreadnought [approaching Dungeoneer]: 'Going a trifle fast, weren't we, madam? Blow into this... OK, you're clear. You may pass; but if I catch you again, I'll take points off your license; maybe three, perhaps six...'
Mellisandre and Motley go into a restaurant. Mogdred, the maitre d', shows them to a table.]
Mogdred: As for you who dine: Look upon menus! Look upon menus, and quail!
Motley: Why?
Mogdred: I meant, I recommend the quail a l'orange, or as a vegetarian option, the spaghetti napolitana.
[Shortly, a waiter comes over. It is Ross, the Series 3 Dungeoneer whose quest had been to find Mellisandre.]
Ross: May I take your orders?
Mellisandre: Curry, Ross, curry!
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Skarkill Catches A Dungoneer.
Skarkill: "RIGHT GOTCH YER. Skarkills caught yer hasn't he.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....BEAUTIFUL"
Dungeoneer: Errr. Don't You Mean LOVELY.
Skarkill: Naar Got Tired of That Thought I'd Try Someret different.
Dungoneer: You Sound Like Bernerd Matthews.
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Treguard: Welcome watchers, to Dungeon Wars! Where we get two geeky kids from weird locations to slog it out guided by advisors. Now lets see that metal cough I mean flesh, Fly!
Dungeoneers begin to fight
Advisors: Ok punch left, bit more ok now!
Treguard: Who cares if we rip off Robot Wars, no one is watching anymore!
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(1995)
Treguard: Ah, greetings, dear travellers. Welcome to another season of Knightm-
(Council worker enters): Stop!
Treguard: Sorry, what?
Council worker: You haven't paid any rent on this place for the past 9 years.
Treguard: But-
Council worker: So we've decided to knock this place down.
Treguard: But-
Council worker: You'd better get a move on. The new tenant will be here any minute.
Treguard: I knew I shouldn't have left Majida to do the paperwork.
(New tenant enters. He wears a mullet)
Pat Sharp: I have great plans for this place!
Treguard: You? Nooooo!
(By the way, I'm fully aware of the overlapping timelines of KM and Fun house. I just choose to ignore them)
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