You know you've watched too much knightmare when...
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When you start putting any item of food you can find into your bag, and expect it to relieve your hunger!
When you start sidestepping left and right to get past obstacles, without changing the direction you're looking in.
You refuse to look through a magnifying glass for more than a few seconds in case you get fireballed.
When going through a tunnel, you always keep on walking straight without stopping for anything until you're safely out the other end.
When you won't let someone have any food until you've asked them three riddles.
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The sad thing is, I actually do all of the following.
You refer to children as 'Dirty little kidsies'
You keep a photo of Lord Fear in your wallet. (I do, I really do!)
You work Knightmare quotes into everyday conversations.
You have your hair done like one of the characters.
And finaly, the number 1 way to know you've watched too much knightmare is...
When you make a list of ways to know you've watched too much knightmare.
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You wear a dress, skull cap and very light foundation and powder like Mogdred
You adopt a white wig with red streaks
you buy long false black fake fingernails
you buy some fake tan and eyeliner
you develop a taste for Eutruscan brandy
You cork every bottle you come across
After a sight test, when the say you're short sighted in one eye, you opt for an eye patch. You then pinch a pair of handcuffs from one of those bobby's walking in the town centre.
You try to move through walls and start asking to be fed.
You think going by boat is the best way to travel
You think going by mini-skip is even better, only because it resembles a minecart.
You start falling through trapdoors when attempting to give out information.
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When you keep side-stepping left and pretending to fall to your doom. (i honestly can't stop doing that. People stare at me weird)
You always run down your hallway imagining spears and floating skulls.
When you would actually like to fall down the hole on any causeway type obstacle.
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I tend to sign off MSN in the evening saying "Temporal disruption approaching".
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You pose a riddle to a stranger in a dream. I mean, for goodness sake, this happened to me!
The riddle was "What is the longest water passageway in the United Kingdom?" Upon hearing the answer "River Severn" I proudly claimed "Truth accepted!"
I'll never sleep again!
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You own a copy of Worms 3D and name your worms after KM characters.
You give your worms KM names simply to laugh as you see Lord Fear point a shotgun at Treguard and exclaim "The deal is simple: I shoot, you die."
You fantasize about the characters doing things they shouldn't.
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You make a great effort to produce a series of drawings which display all the characters from all eight series.
Knightmare series 4 picture coming soon!
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You refer to your anadin tablets as bitter pills of self-delusion.
Your inner monologue has the voice of a knightmare character. (I.E. I always think of myself as one.)
You mutter spells under your breath at everyday things. I.E. (upon discovering a book you really wanted has been sold) Spellcasting! O.H.C.U.R.S.E.S.
seriously though, I think one of the blokes who made worms3d is a KM fan as most of the challenges start with a loud shout of "Game On!"
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You make your room all blue, purchase a projector, find a large pot and some food items from the kitchen and your mums handbag, find or take some photos of the dungeons inside your nearest castle and get them developed. You then get a few friends over, you get one incharge of the projector and photos, you get three friends to be your guides, you put on the handbag and put the pot over your head and hope everything else works from there. Well it was worth a try though as well as a great laugh.
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I'd class myself as a person who's watched too little Knightmare!
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Seconded actually, seeing as I have yet to see all of Series 2 and haven't seen 6,7 & 8 for a long time. Problem is that, though my memory for TV shows is normally very good then I always seem to miss Challenge! showing Knightmare. Is this a serious problem? Anyone know any specialists I can see for it?
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Specialists?
(*FK dons huge glasses and fake beard to become F. Rontier Psychiatrist)
The prescription you clearly need is 3 tapes of Knightmare, of seasons you have not watched for a long time. Find someone on this forum local to you and demand the tapes as your condition of Knightmare force is red. This should cure your ailment. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a lunch meeting with Rothberry the Apothecary.
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Perhaps you could ask Rothberry at your lunch meeting to try and solve my problem :
As i've just been to the Tower of London, I kept imagining eyeshield sequences as I walked through archways and into different chambers. Some of which in fact would have made for good scenes in series 4 and 5!
I really have watched tooooo much Knightmare
Still haven't seen series 2 I recorded yet though
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Actually, that's reminded me of the times when, as a kid, I'd pretend I was going through an eye-shield sequence. How? I'd squint my eyes so I could only see a bit of what lay ahead of me.
And thankfully, it didn't wreck my eyesight, but if I ever need glasses in the future I'll put the blame on that!
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As i've just been to the Tower of London, I kept imagining eyeshield sequences as I walked through archways and into different chambers. Some of which in fact would have made for good scenes in series 4 and 5!
Did you hear the Series 4 Crazed Heifer background music? When I was there in May, it was playing in one of the exhibition rooms.
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