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Knightmare Forum

  • Series 1 - Episode 2

    Series 1
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    I'm sure I remember some team in a later series making that mistake (thinking the food counted as one of their two objects and having to be told otherwise), so if you're right about their thought process, they weren't the last to be confused about that! It was Series 4 Nicky's team in Oakley's glen! Advisor: "Are we only allowed to take two things?" Treguard: "Two things." Advisor: "And we've already taken the bread?" Treguard: "Oh no no, that doesn't count."
  • Series 4 Episode 14

    Series 4
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    It seems like it to me, yes.
  • From little Closes do Cults and Plagues grow...BROOKSIDE!

    Off-Topic
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    While They Were Famous: Celebrity appearances on Brookside. From the Pope to Lily Savage, there was something to suit all tastes. There is now a video online with clips of all those celebrity appearances. In November 2003, days after Brookside had ended on Channel 4, I made a post on this forum in which I imagined a continuing version of Brookside Close where Brookside characters interacted with visiting characters from another series (namely Knightmare). Last month that's exactly what happened via a crossover within Hollyoaks (and Hollyoaks Later). If I tried to use exclamation marks, one wouldn't be enough, so I'll restrict myself to full stops. This one-off return, with original actors filmed at the original Brookside Close location, is comparable to Knightmare's one-off return in YouTube Geek Week 2013 with original actors filmed in the studio where Knightmare was made, including a bearded character who appeared from the first episode onwards.
  • Unintended KM references on Youtube

    Reminds me of Knightmare
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    Well, I THINK it's unintended anyway. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At_LNDO1eq0 Wow, and we thought the place-of-choice scenes in the series went on too long.....
  • Series 3 - Episode 6

    Series 3
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    This scene would have been many watchers' introduction to Mogdred. How menacing to come straight out of temporal disruption into this, with a looming face delivering a barrage of insults (pathetic, pitiful, ordinary, intruder) and Treguard getting so alarmed. I find this line from Mogdred, directed at Treguard, very intriguing: "Silence, you cleaner of cells! If you send your charges this deep then you cannot expect my mercy." In one sentence, Mogdred demeans Treguard; in the next, he acknowledges Treguard's role as the instigator of quests. More than that, he portrays Treguard less neutrally than Treguard portrays himself. You could speculate that Mogdred is showing a grudging respect for the Dungeonmaster, and that that is why he doesn't try to constrain Treguard as he did in Series 2 Quest 7. Then again, Treguard was able to defy that constraint ("Le..tter O!"). Mogdred tempted the dungeoneer to take of the Helmut Best left to Oktoberfest perhaps. Question: Wouldnt the GLORY spell, given to them by mogdred have helped? Oasis might have asked: (What's the Story) Mogdred GLORY?
  • Helm of Justice

    Fan Creations
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    It might be if I could drive but I'm not allowed to for medical reasons.
  • David Learner directing Playhouse Creatures

    Cast/Crew Projects
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    David Learner is currently directing a production of Playhouse Creatures at the Viva Theatre, Soham.
  • Parody of Jealous Type by Doja Cat

    Musical Parody
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    Dungeoneer Richard from Series 8 Team 1 sings about his quest. Based on Jealous Type by Doja Cat (2025). Official video, original lyrics Oh, let me know if this is feckless, I Have to choose between four objects and just can't decide Which two I should be taking from the scroll's advice Maybe I'll regret not picking up Stiletta's knife It's Stiletta's knife The clue room Can condemn you to a new doom When the scroll says 'green', the clue is To look for where that hue is Got past balls of fire I did not wait in that lane But my quest's not fine It's dyin' Oh, let me know if this is feckless, I Have to choose between four objects and just can't decide Which two I should be taking from the scroll's advice Maybe I'll regret not picking up Stiletta's knife It's Stiletta's knife Joanne Heywood, I met Joanne Heywood Joanne Heywood, then I met Paul Valentine Joanne Heywood, I met Joanne Heywood Joanne Heywood, then I met Paul Valentine I said, "I wanna get to Level Two" I'm gonna need a trapdoor and a code today Had a bottle full of pigeon poo I unstopper, throw it onto the statue, it comes to life All it took to bring back Motley And he said "Chlistmas" when he started up And if we'd got 'Green for a girl' like we should've done I wouldn't be locked in, meeting Bhal-Shebah, ha No dungeoneer wants to be cooked alive for leaving a blade Because a basic hint caused too much debate I took the key instead and later we paid I got flambéed...
  • Pooka in a jar

    Fan Creations
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    I don't mind waiting if you're busy.
  • Parody of Tears by Sabrina Carpenter

    Musical Parody
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    Ariadne sings a song based on Tears by Sabrina Carpenter (2025). Official video; original lyrics (Shelob-esque) I make webs down on Level 2 Being an octuple-legg'd beast Fleeing me's what you're supposed to do Or you'll be deceased A gargantuan tarantula's not the best part of your day Maybe you should leave quickly, I'll come and eat you eat you eat you up For Jamie the automatum, it came before me in gameplay And Gretel the maid's so whiny, I Don't like her I make webs down on Level 2 Being an arachnid is cool Freezing me: magic will get you through Cast RUN or you're through The strands of my web are sticky, a girl called Nicky stuck around Gundrada was an arachnophobe; Motley's oh so oh so oh so cruel The astrolabe that came later, I'm like, "Why I have got this thing?" Bringing me back for Geek Week, well I'm like, "Is that me?" I make webs, starting Series 2 Somehow they materialise Flee now or I'll make a ghost of you Fear my many eyes I make webs down on Level 2 Being an octuple-legg'd beast Fleeing me's what you're supposed to do Or you'll be deceased (Bone break...)
  • Picking items when failing to obtain clue

    Behind the Scenes
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    In the early series, there seems to have been a definitive, specific, laid out path. An item was used in a particular location and if you didn't have the item (for whatever reason) when it was needed then you died. The problem is that this lead to the situation where you can do badly in the clue room and still get through the dungeon by being lucky with your selection of items. On the other hand, if you did well, picked up exactly the right items, but missed a clue (or didn't understand the advice given) you were certainly dead. So bad teams could progress and good teams could fail, and it wasn't necessarily clear why. Later series seem to have eased up on this and there always seems to have been an alternative approach available for taking the wrong items (at least in level 1).
  • Parody of The Subway by Chappell Roan

    Musical Parody
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    After Grimwold the ogre bit one of Festus's heads off, the head became (what else?) a skull haunting. It then had a failed relationship with another skull haunting — and sang this song to the tune of The Subway by Chappell Roan (released in 2025). Official video, original lyrics I saw your green glow Mandible next to your mouth There at the wellway I nearly had a breakdown Half a phase later Saw you in the Mills of Doom And it so chilled me I had to leave the room I wish the only way, it wasn't onward When's it onward, it's never onward It's such a lonely way, this moving onward Moving onward, I've not moved onward 'Til I don't look for you in the bare caves Or wish you thought that we were still ghoulmates But I'm still coldly floating through this phase 'Til you're just another skull at the wellway Ate Grimwold's dinner He went and bit my head off I see my stump and My other heads and Mrs. G scoff I made a promise If in four quests my mood's further south Well, damn this dungeon I'm going through the serpent's mouth I wish the only way, it wasn't onward When's it onward, it's never onward It's such a lonely way, this moving onward Moving onward, I've not moved onward 'Til I can steal the scene during gameplay And have a good refresh rate each Friday But I'm still coldly floating through this phase 'Til you're just another skull at the wellway You've lit, you've lit the way You've lit the way, you've lit the way And you flit, you flit away You flit away, you flit away...
  • Brother Mace (parody of Poker Face by Lady Gaga)

    Musical Parody
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    enjoy!! This remains one of my favourite song parodies of yours. As a bonus, it foreshadows a line from the 2013 Geek Week special: "Not so much saga as Gaga."
  • Hi there from Kent

    Newbie Welcome
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    Welcome to the forum. Looking forward to reading your posts! Knightmare had a number of teams from Kent including Ashford, Bromley and Gillingham. The team from GIllingham were in the year below me at school. I'll have to rewatch how the other Kent teams got on. Cheers!
  • Anthony Donovan

    General Discussion
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    I didn't realise Anthony Donovan (Grimaldine/Brollachan) is no longer with us? I've just seen a Doctor Who wiki that says he died back in 2016, citing this Equity annual report: https://www.equity.org.uk/media/n2tjqmio/equity-annual-report-2016.pdf#page=115 (Weirdly that was the same year I posted a song parody about Grimaldine's funeral!)
  • Choose Your Own Adventure Books

    Off-Topic
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    Yes indeed! Still have all of mine from childhood, pretty much all of them from 1 to 60. Wonderful series.
  • You know you've watched too much knightmare when...

    Jester's Corner
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    ...before stepping onto a moving walkway, you can't stop yourself saying, "Spellcasting S-P-E-E-D!"
  • Bolt Action Five

    Fan Creations
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    I've found a few mixes of this on my HD. Notably I have the "Princess Sparkle" Remix (in addition to the original mix), but I'm loath to share it without permission from BAF or Princess Sparkle herself. I may post it somewhere if there is sufficient interest. I also have a janky version of TFTF which I performed live. There are plenty of remixes, but I'm fairly certain I may be the only person to ever attempt a cover! Here is the MP3, although the quality isn't great.
  • Knightmare at BFI Mediatheque

    General Discussion
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    Several episodes of Knightmare are available to view at London's BFI Mediatheque (a free audio-visual repository of old film and TV at the BFI Southbank location). These are often from the original broadcast on CiTV. These span many years of Knightmare's history; some episodes also include the CiTV wraparound host sections in addition to the episode itself. From my viewing, it seems that episodes available to view include the first ever from Series 1 and one from each subsequent series. There are no successive episodes, however, meaning that some quests are only partially shown. One winner is shown - Julie, from Series 7. We've all seen Knightmare episodes by now, but I was quite excited to see these presented in their original broadcast form! If you're ever near the Southbank I'd recommend availing yourself of free Knightmare! Knightmare's entry on the BFI archive search is here. Information about the Mediatheque itself is here. I also wrote a Lexicon article about this!
  • Parody of Lucky by Britney Spears

    Musical Parody
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    About Series 3 Quest 3, to the tune of Lucky by Britney Spears (2000). By a happy coincidence, this team encountered spears. Official audio, Original lyrics This is a story about a boy named Simon "Enter, stranger", he fades in Then Mark, Deborah and Claire It's time for knapsack, helmet on And later into Kaa's lair We go, "Will he be lucky, this Horsham-bred guy?" And we say, "He's so plucky, he's a star" But he die-die-died when he went too far, drifting He'd met Mr. Grimwold and his wife And few dungeoneers had that plight He passed Golgarach, fled a bomb And he had an ogre on his tail And while dungeoneering, nearly got a spearing But tell me, what led his team to fail? We go, "Will he be lucky, this Horsham-bred guy?" And we say, "He's so plucky, he's a star" But he die-die-died when he went too far, drifting Gifted with invisibility Went down but not to Level 3 "Series 3, and the winner is... no one!" "I'm Rhark the Goblin for the Opposition, skulking inside the caves waiting for Simon..." "...Where is he?" Will he be lucky, this Horsham-bred guy? He is so plucky, but why can't he fly? Encountered Mr. Grimwold and his wife Velda saved him some strife And we say, "He's so plucky, he's a star" But he die-die-died when he went too far, drifting He met Mr. Grimwold and his wife And few dungeoneers had that plight Tried to be plucky But he die-die-died when he went too far, DISMISS Farewell Simon, on with Series 3 'Til Leo dies similarly