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  • Knightmare Props

    Fan Creations
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    HordrissH
    I've got an etsy acquaintance working on a Season 7 Arkenstone. I'll let you know how it goes and post a link to his shop when the time comes. N.B. I know that I haven't been a very active member of th3 community but I always feel welcome here and will endeavour to contribute more often. Otherwise a really good user name is just going to waste lol.
  • Series 6 Ep 11

    Series 6
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    C
    It's chrysalis from earlier in the thread. I have since read a lot of the episode and backstage stuff on the site, and now I know the life graphics were edited in after the show was filmed, I will change my view on what I said earlier, I now just consider it poor editing rather than necessarily a harsh death. Also agree all the winners were generally helped in some way, although they usually needed to be reasonably good at the challenge to get on the winning path. Still remain fascinated by this show, even many years later with all the new tech we have.
  • Hello there!

    Newbie Welcome
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    Hello Quester! Welcome along. Admittedly I don't visit here as much as I used to but still lurk now and again. I see you have just started on series 6. Series 6 is my favourite and I can still easily watch it today. It also brings back memories of when I was 11 at the time and had great times. Enjoy series 6!
  • Parody of Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan

    Musical Parody
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    Grimwold the ogre sings about his determination to keep doing what he does. Based on Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan (2020). Official audio I heard they wanted me to slay 'Cause before we had the Automatum, but he didn't stay So I moved into this special place Where boys and girls can go on quests with a flaking face I'm having wicked dreams Of chasing dungeon teams And biting heads off hounds I swear they're taunting me Won't make the maiden proud It's gonna cause a scene She hears an ogre growl I know she's gonna scream "Oh, why can't you shun All the young dungeoneers Up here on Level One?" Oh Melly I'm just having fun As I rage for my meals It's where I belong Here with my Big phony club I'm gonna keep advancing with my big phony club I'm gonna keep advancing in the quests 'cause I should I'm gonna keep advancing with my big phony club, big phony club I'm up in the Great Corridor Simon's in a hurry and he's headed for the door He might have escaped into the Vale I switch between shorts and trousers but I cannot fail I thank my wicked dreams Of chasing dungeon teams Oh no an angry elf So rude, I have to flee Won't make the missus proud It's gonna cause a scene She'll see me sloping home I know she's gonna scream "Oi, what 'ave you done? You're a bleedin' great lump Where the 'ell is your club?" Oh darling My time isn't done I need three quests to heal Then I'll be along, back with my Big phony club I'm gonna keep advancing with my big phony club I'm gonna keep advancing in the quests 'cause I should I'm gonna keep advancing with my big phony club, big phony club I think that Kelly's in a bind There's no way off Level One I menace from behind So Mr. Grimwold wins the day And I can hear a wifely drawl a dungeon room away, saying "Oh Grimmy, well done Rub my big phony nose As you brandish your club" Oh darling This time it was fun And I'm setting the scene For Fatilla the Hun, here with my Big phony club I'm gonna keep advancing with my big phony club I'm gonna keep advancing in the quests 'cause I should I'm gonna keep advancing with my big phony club, big phony club I'm gonna keep advancing I'm gonna keep advancing
  • Mary Miller

    News Discussion
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    s4t8brettS
    Sorry to read this: the first couple of series have special memories for those of us for whom it was our first introduction in our childhood.
  • Re:Anglia's Magdalen Street studios to close

    News Discussion
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    s4t8brettS
    Very sorry to read this. It's not much comfort, but due to its nature Knightmare itself could potentially be recreated in many alternative studios around the UK.
  • Hugo Myatt at FanX Live 2024

    Cast/Crew Projects
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    C
    What a lovely post, Requiem! It sounds like you both enjoyed catching up after all this time. Thanks for sharing how it went.
  • Knightmare chat web widget

    Announcements
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    MystaraM
    Having finally lost my patience with KiwiIRC, I've changed the widget for Knightmare chat to a locally hosted version. It should, therefore, be less prone to going down. You can access it at: https://www.knightmare.com:9000/ Obviously, the preferred method of access remains a proper IRC client.
  • Happy Birthday Knightmare

    General Discussion
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    R
    You see '37 years ago' and it halts you in your tracks. It's wild that can be possible. Thinking back to those times; seeing the community that still survives all this time later, and learning that all those special memories of care-free childhood, glued to the TV watching the latest Dungeoneer taking on the dungeon; and you realise all those memories aren't just your own. Many, many others up and down the country have the same memories. Cheers to Knightmare; to Tim, Hugo and indeed every single person involved in the show, in front of and behind the camera. I said to Hugo today when I met him at Fan X Live that Knightmare is one of a kind. There was nothing else like it at the time, and there's been nothing quite like it since, either.
  • Frightknights and other Ron Lyon Sculptures

    News Discussion
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    I have 2 of Ron's Knight statues for sale on ebay. To be clear, these are not the ones for the TV series, but were made by Ron at an earlier point. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/267015757424?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=7OXwfu5SS92&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=7OXwfu5SS92&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/267015759865?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=7OXwfu5SS92&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=7OXwfu5SS92&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY
  • Parody of Set You Free by N-Trance

    Musical Parody
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    From the point of view of the Series 2 Quest 4 advisors, a parody of Set You Free by N-Trance (1993). Official video On Knightmare When we meet a maiden 'Queen of Hearts' she quotes wrongly And she's trapped on a lower level Only Mark can collect up FREE When we quake at Mogdred And the SUN shines patchily And we're near to unlocking Gretel Only Mark can collect up FREE Collect up FREE (x4) On Knightmare When we trust each other To the end of Level 3 Want our knight to get four letters Only Mark can collect up FREE Collect up FREE (x4) O-o-o-on Knightmare, on Knightmare On Knightmare, on Knightmare...
  • Parody of HOT TO GO! by Chappell Roan

    Musical Parody
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    D
    This is my 252nd consecutive month of posting on this forum. To expand on something I posted in my 2nd month – A Dungeoneer has died. Treguard is about to send the Team on its way, when a squad of cheerleaders (including Mellisandre, Gretel, Elita and Velda) cartwheel in and begin to chant: 'Oh dear you have lost the quest Time to go back to Skegness Gimme a D! ... – here's a parody of HOT TO GO! by Chappell Roan (2023). Official music video (includes subtitles) Dungeon's where are you are, questing with conviction Helmet on your head in a realm of fiction I don't write the quests but I make up ditties Maybe shame you too if your end's not pretty It's the challenge so few beat And then post-mortems fall to me I use a tried and tested oratory When I'm sending a team off, sending a team off D-I-S-M-I-S-S Seven letters to express That your end's a fatal mess Didn't quite achieve success D-I-S-M-I-S-S Makes the Dungeon four folk less Spells out your unhappiness D-I-S-M-I-S-S D-I-S-M-I-S-S Off you go, you lost the quest D-I-S-M-I-S-S Off you go, you lost the quest Well life force went to red and there'll be no healing Eyeballs rolled away, skin is long past peeling Sprites of energy don't do healthy fasting Nothing more for you except my spellcasting And in the Dungeon of Deceit The cul-de-sac's a one-way street No win for most of the sixty-nine teams And then I magic them outside, magic them outside D-I-S-M-I-S-S Seven letters to express That your end's a fatal mess Didn't quite achieve success D-I-S-M-I-S-S Makes the Dungeon four folk less Spells out your unhappiness D-I-S-M-I-S-S D-I-S-M-I-S-S Off you go, you lost the quest D-I-S-M-I-S-S Off you go, you lost the quest Maybe you fell off a causeway In a pit or an abyss Maybe it was blunt force trauma Time is up, now for DISMISS Maybe it was the Medusa Or a blocker if you're Chris Either way your quest is scuppered Series 6: no more DISMISS D-I-S-M-I-S-S Off you go, you lost the quest D-I-S-M-I-S-S Off you go, you lost the quest D-I-S-M-I-S-S Off you go, you lost the quest D-I-S-M-I-S-S Off you go, you lost the quest Ooh, I miss DISMISS Shall we bring it back for Geek Week? Wait, I have to say the word? After I spelled it? What's that about?
  • Series 7 - Episode 12

    Series 7
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    Treguard: "And you have three friends? I hope so." Barry: "Yes. Er, Simon, Derek, Daniel." [The advisors appear] Treguard: "Ah yes. And these friends, they have names?" Yep. The names Barry just used to summon them. This can only have fuelled Barry's determination to be listened to, come what may.
  • Parody of Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis

    Musical Parody
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    Based on the Oasis song Don't Look Back in Anger (1996) from their album (What's the Story) Morning Glory?. Not to be confused with their concept album about Series 3 Team 4 on Level 3: (What's the Story) Mogdred GLORY. Official video Staring at the life force as pie Do you ask yourself why They never kept the face? Knapsacks were once just for food And nothing else should intrude Oh it's a disgrace Now the teams come running in, I'm in a rage Why does Treguard ask each dungeoneer their age? No more Rowe, just CGI for rooms Treguard beside the fireplace Looks Majida in the face Watchers spurned behind a burning hearth now And so Knightmare can grate Why'd they animate A spellbook? What a state It may make you hate But don't look back in anger At Series 8 Why do teams leave via the woods? Don't know if they should Is it night or day? Treguard does weird stuff with his hands Why's he wrecking his brand? Majida, must you stay? They tried to start an evolution with Reach wand How I wish a team would smash it and abscond Skip your way through blades past Level 2 Stand up: no seats, no not a trace Lord Fear's helmet has a face And we ain't ever gonna turn the clock back And so Maldame waits Amid all the traits That make this year not great It may aggravate But don't look back in anger At Series 8 So Smirkenorff sits He's stuck in a pit As we watch, we deflate You may feel irate But don't look back in anger At Series 8 So much irritates And three decades late I sit here and berate But don't imitate No don't look back in anger, don't look back in anger At Series 8 Or Knightmare's fate
  • Corbiss the Bemuser

    Jester's Corner
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    As the Dungeon returns for a new phase, the Powers that Be have a new leader: The knight who once tamed a wild bovine and founded the realm's finest inn, the Crazed Heifer, in its honour. Because of this deed, people started calling him Sir Bullock Settler, until he persuaded them to modify it to Sir Steer Calmer. Corbiss the Bemuser, as a long-lived mage who appears to draw power from outside, was one of the few denizens in a position to make the Dungeon form again. Having mislaid the arcane wisdom that once gave him true power, he resorts to a simplistic spell. But there are horrendous side-effects to the spellcasting of REFORM. Amid the Dungeon's general resurrection, an excess of magic is channelled to a small group of renegades deplored by the Powers that Be and tolerated by the Opposition. Their leader is... a coarse vagabond named Forage. In an attempt to sound widely influential yet anti-establishment, Forage asks to be known as Nudge-All the Disparager. Yet people keep calling him Forage, and pronouncing it to sound Norman, which infuriates him. Not that he and his brigade (the Reformed) are anything less than furious. They direct this fury at dungeoneers. It's obvious to most that the Knightmare Realm would not be what it is without dungeoneers, but not to The Reformed. So visceral is their hatred that they make Lord Fear look like Rothberry, so to speak. In his smug, insatiable hunger for influence, Forage sets out to incite every dungeoneer hater in the realm. To enchant these unsophisticated folk, he uses an unsophisticated incantation, attempting to conjure up a "Huge Ol' Riot". Instead, because of a concealed silver spoon impeding his speech, he summons Hugo Myatt. A firm, prolonged stare sends Forage scampering for shelter in the expensive property that we're not supposed to know he owns. Have Forage and the Reformed been subdued, or will they continue to be a blight on Treguard, Sir Steer and the realm?
  • Re:Series 7 Episode 8

    Series 7
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    Im sorry, but Treguard is helping them WAY too much in this series. He's even started guiding the dungeoneers 'climb over the back of the seat and leave the firestone' He;s started the annoying habbit of pretending to not know what the items are. 'think its up the back there somewhere' was bad enough but now 'think thats a lamp'. YOU KNOW ITS A LAMP. what happened to the confident Treguard who KNEW the dungeon? Shall we take the book? "Ooh its quite useful" So now, he's telling them what items to take, in LEVEL 2. And they were blatantly told they suddenly had the BOLT spell and Treguard went 'USE IT'. Ooh I give up. WAY TOO MANY. But they still died, so they were particularly hopeless. The new team by contrast have a much tougher quest. I'm glad I'm not the only one to have found Series 7-8's Uncle/Grandpa Treguard distracting at best. Team 5 were assigned the quest for the (poisoned)chalice. They had a lively start, running straight into Romahna, with goblin horns approaching, just as time-out arrived. A recent tweet suggests that Series 7 Team 5 went to the same school in Salisbury as Series 6 Team 5. I hope the school put it in their prospectus.
  • Knightmare Quote in Challenge Idents

    Knightmare on Challenge?
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    HStormH
    Watching Catchphrase today and it did the "Armchair Adventurers" quote at the start of the ads again.
  • Knightmare survey

    General Discussion
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    Year you first saw Knightmare?: 1989 How old were you at the time?: 8 Favourite series?: 6 Least favourite series?: 8 Preferred version of the title sequence / theme music?: Series 1-3 Outdoor locations - like or dislike?: Like Pickle or Majida (or hated both assistants)?: Pickle Mogdred or Lord Fear?: Lord Fear Skarkill or Lissard?: Skarkill Favourite character(s): Mötley, Skarkill, Lord Fear, Sylvester Hands, Hordriss, Sidress Least favourite character(s): Majida, Grimaldine Things that scared you the most as a kid (if applicable)?: The music kicking in when a dungeoneer is about to perish in Series 6, the music of the dwarf tunnels Favourite locations...: the ruins of Dungarth ...or challenges?: Corridor of Blades, Play Your Cards right Favourite team(s)?: Barry from series 7 Least favourite team(s)?: Michael from series 8 Favourite death(s)?: Simon from series 4 - sidestep to your left! Favourite series finale?: 7 Have you ever "played" Knightmare with friends or relatives?: Yes Have you ever named a pet or toy after a Knightmare character?: No Did you ever apply to be a contestant?: No Were you a member of the Knightmare Adventurers Club?: No Did you subscribe to The Eye Shield fanzine in the 1990s?: No Have you ever created anything based on Knightmare (e.g. fanfic, fanart, songs, spoofs)?: No Have you read the books?: Yes all of them Have you played the board game?: Yes and still own it! Have you played any KM computer games (official or fan-made)?: Yes and could not escape the 2nd room! Do you own any other Knightmare merchandise?: No Have you watched the French and/or Spanish versions?: No
  • New Knightmare video computer game

    General Discussion
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    This looks good! https://www.indieretronews.com/2024/07/knightmare-1980s-hit-tv-show-is-coming.html?m=1
  • Unintended Knightmare references in music

    Reminds me of Knightmare
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    Things Can Only Get Better by D:Ream has a Mark Knight remix.