They would never say...
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I apologise profusely, even more so if it was on page 22 of this topic, indicating it's recently been done and I'm too lazy to look back one page.
Still, great minds on the side of the Opposition think nastier!
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Team are in a quest scouting through Level 2 when they come across Smirkenorff!
Treguard: Pickle have a Softmint...
Pickle: Thankyou Sir!
Smirkenorff: I don't suppose you'd have any dragon mints, would you?
Dungeoneer: Unfortunately not...
Smirkenorff: I thought I heard the dungeon master offering mints out there?
Dungeoneer: Yes... But... err... those are Softmints not Dragon Mints...
Smirkenorff: ...no excuse...
Dungeoneer: ...they're too small...
Smirkenorff: ...no excuse...
Dungeoneer: ...they're not as good as...
Smirkenorff: ...no excuse...
Dungeoneer: Oh for christ sake!
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My reworked version that doesn't bring back dreadful memories....
Treguard: Oh dear, what a pity that simon got incinerated there. No matter. Would you like a jelly baby before you're off on your way home?
(Advisors accept)
Pickle: You don't think you've become TOO nice, master, do you?
Treguard: Not at all my dungeon friend, my pal Pickle.
Lord Fear: Treguard! What is the meaning of sending me these tulips? you know I prefer dandelions!
Treguard: There weren't any at the florists, I'm sorry.
Knicemare.
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The Dungeoneer enters the ante-chamber ready to start his quest but the chamber is completely empty.
Curious he goes to the window and looks outside. Treguard is sat on a deckchair with his trouser legs rolled up, a string vest on and a hanky on his head.
Pickle is cavorting around holding a long piece of string with a large red diamond flying at the other end of it.
Just another day on CITV classic Kitemare
GroanGroan*
Right, I'm off to kick elderberries.
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Curious to find out what Treguard does before the next phase is completed, a nominated dungeoneer and his advisors go to Knightmare Castle to investigate. With Treguard and Pickle nowhere to be seen they check the outer grounds, and there is Treguard sat on a deck chair with Pickle still flying his Kite. Treguard is wearing sandles, a cap, a pair of shorts and a shirt on, he looks up to see his challengers...
One of the advisors looks at him reproachfully and says, "What on earth are you doing Treguard?"
"Nothing kid, just... enjoying the sunshine and having a lager or two..."
Hehehehehe!
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[Brother Mace walks up to Sylvester Hands.]
My good man, you smell. Rather severely. But a solution presents itself.
[He hands Hands a can of deodorant. Hands isn't sure how it works.]
It's intended to freshen you up somewhat. Spray awhile.[Sniffs and grimaces.] Spray forever.
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I feel partially responsible for gelling the two...
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"What on earth are you doing Treguard?"
"Nothing kid, just... enjoying the sunshine and having a lager or two..."
Hehehehehe!
So what do we all think the various characters preferred tipple is?
Treguard : Tetley's Cask Bitter
Pickle : Something soft. Orange Juice probably
Majida : White wine for the lady
Lord Fear : Only the finest port
Skarkill : Jack Daniels (Double)
Lissard : Vodka and coke
Hordriss : Water
Mogdred : Guiness
Motley : Stella Artois
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Nah, the beard suggests he'd be at home in a pub with an open fire, a pipe, and a nice pint of Bitter.
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[Several KM characters, including Brother Mace, Aesandre, Hands, Pickle and Gretel, sit in a semi-circle in Brangwen She's Clueroom, facing the wall monster. Brother Mace stands up.]
Mace: Greetings, my name is Brother Mace. And... and...
Brangwen: Answer, name it now!
Mace: ...I'm an alcoholic.
[The others in the semi-circle applaud.]
Brangwen: Well done. The first step, is acceptance. Acceeeeeptaaaannnce...
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