Knightmare logo
  • Characters
    Powers that Be Opposition Unaligned
  • Dungeon
    Handpainted CGI Locations
  • Backstage
    Experiences Interviews History How Knightmare was made Convention
  • Fanzone
    Online Coverage Articles Magazines Fan projects
  • Series
    Series 2 Series 3 Series 4 Series 5 Series 6 Series 7 Series 8 Geek Week International Knightmare VR Series 1
  • Events
    Pre-2021 2021 2022 2023 2024 2025 2026
Skip to content
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
Collapse
  1. Home
  2. Jester's Corner
  3. They would never say...

They would never say...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Jester's Corner
431 Posts 58 Posters 0 Views
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • D
    D
    darkDescender
    wrote on last edited by
    #321

    One from series eight...

    *The gate is open and a young dungeoneer is about to enter. However, as he does, he trips and falls down the stone steps, landing heavily at the bottom.

    Dungeoneer: Ow...

    Treguard: Are you allright down there?

    😧 No...I can't feel my legs.

    T: Oh, dear...this looks bad.

    😧 I'm scared. my back hurts.

    T: Erm...just hang on. We'll do something.

    😧 sobbing I want to go home...

    T: To Tim Child Can we get sued for this?

    Tim: Yes.

    T: Right...right...

    A few minutes later...

    Dungeoneer sits with leg bandaged. Treguard is talking to him gently.

    T: Now here you go, here's a nice Frightknight trophy for you. And a big pile of money. Have this X-Box too, even though it hasn't been invented yet. Now, we give you all this and in return, you tell your family and friends that you fell when you were getting out of the taxi, Okay?

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • PookaP
      PookaP
      Pooka
      wrote on last edited by
      #322

      Hordriss: "I'm Hordriss."

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • D
        D
        darkDescender
        wrote on last edited by
        #323

        Treguard: Try to get your combat multiplier even higher...

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • F
          F
          Fidjit
          wrote on last edited by
          #324

          Dungeoneer lobs a grenade at Bumptious' mine!

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • F
            F
            Fidjit
            wrote on last edited by
            #325

            Wall monster: The blood red stone will bring bloodshed

            Dungeoneer: Catch this!

            Dungeoneer: Now we see blood red stone!

            ##########################################

            Wall monster: The After Eight Mints must be used accordingly...

            Advisor: What happened, these were for the troll...

            Treguard: It wasn't After Eight was it team

            ##########################################

            Dungeoneer: Why are you upset Sylvester... Oh yes! It's November, it's nearly time for you're bath!

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • D
              D
              darkDescender
              wrote on last edited by
              #326

              Team reaches level 3, but instead of Marblehead...

              Treguard: Extreme danger, team! This is Lord Fear's latest innovation, he calls it The Technodrome!

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • D
                D
                darkDescender
                wrote on last edited by
                #327

                Lissard: Lissard calling Lordnesss! Come in, Lordness!

                Fear: Ah, Lissard. And what have you learned today?

                L: I've learned that love is a tricksy path, Lordness.

                F: No, what have you learned about the current quest?

                L: Oh! Er...the dungeoneer's male, Lordness?

                Treguard: (watching through spyglass) Ah, lovely! A parody of Mork and Mindy.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • D
                  D
                  Drassil
                  Senior staff
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #328

                  Treguard: 'Ooh nasty, what a pity, never mind.'


                  [Treguard gets his first glimpse of a causeway in operation.]

                  Treguard: 'A causeway! Ground breaking.'

                  Pickle: 'Boom boom.'

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • F
                    F
                    Fidjit
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #329

                    Sylvester Hands approaches a dungeoneer with a magic rope...

                    Dungeoneer: (Dave Lister style) Wha's that pal, you startin' trouble!

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • M
                      M
                      MoanaLiza
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #330

                      Sly to Lissard: "You stink"

                      Lissard: "I'm an atlantean, I come from the sssssea. Now what'ssss your excusssssse?"

                      Lissard and Sly: "We ssssmell!"

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • T
                        T
                        Thanatos
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #331

                        The Dreadnought: "Hello, sir. I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations."

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • D
                          D
                          darkDescender
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #332

                          Treguard: "Join us again for Knightmare. Until next time, good pie!"

                          Or...

                          "Join us again for Knightmare. Until next time, Good guy!"

                          Or...

                          "Join us again for Knightmare. Until next time, Good fry!"

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • HarveyTowersH
                            HarveyTowersH
                            HarveyTowers
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #333

                            Mogdred: "Your only hope to reach level three now is to pledge yourself to me, and come as my servant. Well, will you pledge yourself to me? We need a twelth man out here! Come on, let's be having you!"

                            The Delia Smith School of Public Speaking - Now Taking Resitrations

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • T
                              T
                              TheBrollachan
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #334

                              Brollachan: "I hunger, why don't you feed me with some rock cakes"

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • D
                                D
                                darkDescender
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #335

                                As the mine cart crashes in level Three, Mogdred appears

                                Mogdred: (anguished) 40 Years! I've had my no claims bonus insurance for 40 years! 40 Years! 40 Years!

                                Mogdred proceeds to follow the dungeoneer throughout the remainder of the quest, wailing "40 years!" over and over

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • 1
                                  1
                                  123Pooka
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #336

                                  Bhal Shebah:

                                  "Now the only question is: chilled or frozen?"

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • T
                                    T
                                    TuragaNuju
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #337

                                    Wall Puzzle -

                                    "What is the Quadratic Equation Of celsius Pie?"

                                    Guard: Halt - None Shall Pass Without Gold

                                    Dungeoneer: I have gold for you

                                    Gives Gold To Guard

                                    Dungeoneer Tries To Pass

                                    Guard: NONE SHALL PASS WITHOUT GOLD

                                    Dungeoneer: But I Just Gave You The Gold

                                    Guard: No, You Need To HAVE The Gold To Pass.

                                    Gives Gold Back

                                    Guard: Shall We Try This Again?

                                    Treguard: Err... Cauppacinno with some of those cheesy biscuits..

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • F
                                      F
                                      Fidjit
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #338

                                      Or "Nice Tea!"

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • F
                                        F
                                        Fidjit
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #339

                                        http://knightmare.com/series/3/170.jpg

                                        "I can't believe its not butter!" I like that one!

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • D
                                          D
                                          Drassil
                                          Senior staff
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #340

                                          Lissard to Lord Fear: 'Sssssso long, and thanksssss for all the fish.'

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0

                                          Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.

                                          Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.

                                          With your input, this post could be even better 💗

                                          Register Login
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.

                                          The Team

                                          Join
                                          Submissions
                                          Contact
                                          KM Chat
                                          Privacy Policy

                                          The Site

                                          About
                                          Search
                                          Site Map
                                          Terms & Conditions
                                          Q&A

                                          Keep up-to-date with Knightmare news:
                                          Visit KnightmareTV on X Visit KnightmareTV on Facebook Visit KnightmareTV on YouTube Receive Browser Notifications See our RSS Feed
                                          © Copyright Knightmare.com 1999-2026. All Rights Reserved. Moral rights are asserted.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups