Musical Parody

that's a good one Drassil....... love it.... lovely.

As a watcher who hates the repetitive nature of Series 4 (and considers Lord Fear to be the best thing that ever happened to the show), I found this parody rather delightful!

Hordriss modestly reviews his accomplishments since first meeting a dungeoneer in Series 3. Based on Abracadabra by the Steve Miller Band. Original lyrics, official audio You can't pass, for one's around "You'll have to go back Or ... go down" So began one's long career: Greeting scores of dungeoneers When they use one's calling name One turns up and one spreads one's fame Spreads one's fame, when straits are dire Next to Treguard, there is nobody higher A-adsum revelanti One's magic will come in handy One's here to up the ante With Revelanti One gives them SPLASH, one gives them SPEED HERO or FREEZE, as they may need FIRE, BUT or OPPOSITE TRANSFORMATION (which didn't fit) A-adsum revelanti One stands against technomancy One's here to up the ante With Revelanti One uses magic when one is cross One has curses to show them who's boss Minstrels, jesters, Wittless and Mace Revelanti with a mage's grace One is Harris: fancy that One is a tortoise, a witch, a cat Just when you think you'll have a wretched day You hear the word that one always says A-adsum revelanti So many spells in one's pantry One's here to up the ante With Revelanti When they use one's calling name One turns up and one spreads one's fame Spreads one's fame, when straits are dire Next to Treguard, there is nobody higher One turns up, in one's red gown One's reputation is safe and sound One turns up, in one's red gown One's reputation is safe and sound One turns up, in one's red gown One's reputation is safe and sound

Imagining the point of view of a fan who preferred Series 3 to Series 4, with its always beatable first level. Based on The Lebanon by The Human League.Official video, lyrics He dreams of 1989 Before the Eyeshield came Before the challenges declined Within the Greater Game When Level One stopped four whole teams And Level Two put paid to five And Level Three held distant dreams A thrill when teams got there alive And nobody won And a quest could be done Up on Level One On Level One For Gavin into quickstand dropped And James fell down below And Kelly transformed but was bopped While Douglas took a bomb room blow And then we get to Series Four And Level One waves through all quests And now he finds it is a bore "It's not the hardest, not the best" And it was more fun When the questing was done Up on Level One On Level One On Level One Up on Level One They let eight teams in They all got through Though it's less easy On Level Two And it was more fun When the questing was done Up on Level One On Level One On Level One Up on Level One

Three dungeoneers from Series 2 - Tony, Karen and Jamie - and their experiences with one character. Based on Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm by Crash Test Dummies (1993). The music video is on their official YouTube channel but there's audio interference so I won't link to it; original lyrics here; official audio here. Once there was this kid who Lay down on a wooden bridge and caught a piece of crown But when he finally got up In came "Mindless Mechanical Warrior" He's destined for a playpen The quests can be so hard Automatum, Automatum Once there was this girl who Made it all the way with the girls to the wellway She met the Automatum They soon spellcast RUST over its body It couldn't quite escape that It toppled and lay there Automatum, Automatum Automatum, Automatum But both boy and girl were glad 'Cause one kid had it worse than that 'Cause once there was this boy who Couldn't collect a medal 'cause the Automatum chased him And when his team freed Gretel They - shock - were addled by Ariadne They couldn't quite escape her And so they lost Knightmare Automatum, Automatum Automatum, Automatum Oo-oo-ooh nasty, oo-oo-ooh nasty Oo-oo-ooh nasty, oo-oo-ooh nasty

Wow haha how do you manage to come up with these? So cool!

Another dungeoneer has ended up in the monster's stomach from Series 1-3. Luckily he has a way of escaping this irritable beast and he knows that his predecessors did too. Based on Sacrifice by Elton John (1989). Video, lyrics It's a human bind When things go south And you're sent into innards Through the serpent's mouth Into the belly And out of safe hands Sad defeat comes calling Where there are no gastric bands Bold, bold start Undone by you I won't be digested, baby Just passing through And it's no sack of rice It's a bag of salt If you are livid Then it isn't my fault But it's no sack of rice No sack of rice It's no sack of rice at all Contemplating the navel Will kill my hope Sensitivity of your lining Would respond to soap We lose direction 'Til Tone goes DOWN Or 'til Ross eggs you And risks getting brown Bold, bold start Undone by you I won't be digested, baby Just passing through And it's no sack of rice It's a bag of salt If you are livid Then it isn't my fault But it's no sack of rice No sack of rice It's no sack of rice at all...

Normally I let songs mature for a decade or three before rewriting them. But not this time. Here is a parody of Jamiroquai's week-old single Automaton. Video, lyrics Am I near? Every heart is stirring You're all fear Can't you hear me whirring? Take my hand Cold like Aesandre I'm an mindless man I'm a mindless Why am I coming for you? And this man called Edmund Dehn Has given away to my threat of doom I put my faith in a chromakey world Where they've given me Blue without a room I'll keep the teams from silver spurs Remind myself I am someone My soul is numb and while I whirr I'm Automatum I'm so tough Can't you see me walking See I can touch Can you feel me stalking? I see the kids Who try for squiredom These metal eyes, they can't disguise The fact that I I've instructions to be lethal That's why I'm coming for you I'm standing by: levels one and two I've taken up a deadly flail Treguard will be dismissing you If I make your quest fail And it won't help, with your helmet on To tilt your head back when I come With friends who see, you must avoid The Automatum Automatum... Hey, I'm mostly down underground Sometimes out on that chasm bridge You barely have time to take that crown Automatum While you're a mess of flesh, I am only clockwork Got efficient moves (they're mainly shock jerks) Pretty cool android, but can not twerk An-an-an-achronism Automatum It's a fantasy world... Then came the day I fell to Earth And though I cannot feel disgust I rue the day when a castle room that's windowless Saw the casting of a spell called RUST Maybe this dream will stay alive A technomancer may still come Or a new threat, mechanical New Automatum... You know I need someone That I can bludgeon In the dungeon It was all I knew I'm Automatum I have orders To be quite kindless I'm mindless I am cogs and screws I'm Automatum

brilliant......

Based on Club Tropicana by Wham!. A tribute to George Michael. Video, Lyrics Let me take you to the place Where energy's a floating face No relaxation spas Where Treguard puts you in a helm And dragons fly across the realm In exchange for silver bars Club Knightmare Castle calls to thee It's a dungeon, very tough and rarely won You can win on Level Three But do hurry, you have goblins Catacombs beneath your feet There's fish and fruit and bread to eat Watchers of illusion see Oh dungeons deep (a bluescreen void) Caverns dark (and some devoid) A whole week's chromakey Club Knightmare Castle calls to thee It's a dungeon, very tough and rarely won You can win on Level Three But do hurry, you have goblins [x2] Knapsack on And be a knight Don't waste life force Gotta cast your spell Better sidestep right [x2] Ghou-ouls, ghou-ouls...

Winning teams comment on losing teams. A parody of Merry Christmas Everyone by Shakin' Stevens. Video, lyrics Simons falling All around us Treguard saying That's you done This is Knightmare There are few soft landings Many dismissed, yet we won Time up, Martins From detonations And Morghanna With her zaps Farewell, Helens: Floating swords and wrong turns Goodbye, Tonys: drops and traps We're gonna have a victory today We're gonna find that maid Sword, shield, crown or talisman DISMISS won't come our way Doom is waiting Dreadnort's slaying Ariadne Loves to kill Not for us though Treguard won't dismiss us We'll beat Malice We'll beat Lord Fear We're gonna have a triumph today We'll spellcast FIRE or FREE DARK or SPLASH or OPPOSITE Or ARKEN (starts with A) Alex falling Ever downwards Chrisses failing Dans undone Every series So few teams left standing Many dismissed, yet we won Many dismissed, yet we won So many dismissed, yet we won Darkness falling Over David Steven, Nic'la And they're done Bye to these n' Lots of other travellers Many dismissed, yet we won Simons falling Except the first one Richard's handcuffed Or overdone Quicksand's lethal If your name is Gavin Many dismissed, yet we won Oh, Mark is winning Dunstan's trouncing Dickon, Ben too More than one Julie, Julian Not forgetting Barry Many dismissed, yet we won Many dismissed, yet we won So many dismissed, yet we won Oo-oo-oo-oo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooh (...Nasty)

Thanks

Hahaha, this fitted the lyrics so well!

Excellent work!

...Except it isn't. It's a parody of Brandy by Scott English (1971), famously covered by Barry Manilow (1974). Sung from the perspective of a latter-day Hugo Myatt a.k.a. Treguard. Official audio of Mandy; official karaoke (you know you want to) with original lyrics Don't remember every quest I forget some, I confess The cycle of the years Each phase of adventure Greeting dungeoneers Wond'ring: "Who sent ya?" Knowing if they choose the cup Pretty soon their number's up Mondays at the start Then it was Fridays But always in my heart The post-mortem catchphrase Ooh nasty Well you came and you gave into danger And I sent you away Ooh nasty I dismissed you then said, "Enter, stranger" There's a new game to play Ooh nasty And at the end of Series 8 Said farewell to something great Though the details fade Of spells and portals The comments that I made Continue immortal Ooh nasty Well you came and you gave into danger And I sent you away Ooh nasty I dismissed you then said, "Enter, stranger" There's a new game to play Ooh nasty Memories may be vague Yet I am right there When I recall the phrase I spoke on Knightmare Ooh nasty Well you came and you gave into danger And I sent you away Ooh nasty I dismissed you then said, "Enter, stranger" There's a new game to play Ooh nasty...

Ha, this is clever! Surprised no-one has thought of doing this before, it seems so obvious in hindsight.

In Norwich to film a Knightmare quest, a dungeoneer sings to his advisors. Based on Somewhere In My Heart by Aztec Camera (not to be confused with the audiovisual equipment in one of the Crystal Maze zones). Lyrics, video Summer in the city in East Anglia A dungeon being filmed that's no Shangri-La Well, who knows what lies in store? We walk down long corridors No vision ahead, with a sense of dread At magick arts and powers But somewhere in my helm There is an earpiece tied to you We'll reach Level Two If you guide me through And somewhere on my arm There is the shield to let you see All but chromakey (It's blue) A chance to beat a city full of Norfolk skill As long as I'm not torn in an ogre kill Our quest becomes a show: To TV from a studio No vision ahead, with a sense of dread At magick arts and powers But somewhere in my helm There is an earpiece tied to you We'll reach Level Two If you guide me through And somewhere on my arm There is the shield to let you see All but chromakey (It's blue) It's so real, the Levels Three, Two, One And our hope's always been That on Knightmare we'll win Although few have done From "onward" to Dunkley Wood The three things that are understood Are that you must find food, and you should read a scroll And you never sidestep left into a gaping hole But somewhere in my helm There is an earpiece tied to you We'll reach Level Two If you guide me through And somewhere on my arm There is the shield to let you see All but chromakey (It's blue)...

A song about an ogre, parodying W.O.L.D., Harry Chapin's song about a radio DJ. Original lyrics here; official audio (live) here. Since I first had this idea several years ago, a man nicknamed "Grimmy" has become one of the country's most famous radio DJs. Hello there, Mrs. G. What did you think when you saw me back in the crystal ball? What did the kid say when he knew It was his father walking tall? Remember how we thought about a dungeon life And you said, "That's the place to be" And how I got the job as a violent slob The day you married me? We ate two kids and I was into chewing rock But I just had to stomp around It's been one year since I made it here Let me tell you 'bout what's gone down I am the dungeon ogre: Grim-W-O-L-D Chasing all the dungeoneers in Knightmare Series 3 I might not use my voice to tell you you're my queen Wonder what became of you in Episode 16 The stalkin' I did of that Simon kid I did it far too slow He got to an elf who called me fat What a bitter blow Oh before that I went for Cliff, but Mellisandre She stopped me from getting too close Then I found my way to him again, in our own wellway room But down the well he goes I am the dungeon ogre: Grim-W-O-L-D Chasing all the dungeoneers in Knightmare Series 3 I might not use my voice to tell you you're my queen Wonder what became of you in Episode 16 I'm making extra money doing demolition 'Cause I walk through doors, you see I get thank you letters from a lot of people For causing Casper's redundancy I got a spot on the top of my head Just begging for a new toupée There's an aching my gut from when I bit your mutt So his other two heads can stay One day there was a crayon scheme And a well that had to be drawn But I thundered in and raised my arms And Kelly was forlorn Thinkin' that I should stop ogring And run a market stall Otherwise I'll bang my head Up against a talking wall Okay, missus, I see You like Festus more than me But, old girl, it must be said You're less safe around him, 'cause he's a thoroughbred I am the dungeon ogre: Grim-W-O-L-D Chasing all the dungeoneers in Knightmare Series 3 I might not use my voice to tell you you're my queen Wonder what became of you in Episode 16

One of my favourite Billy Joel songs. Loved this parody, especially the hilarious twist at the end!

In tribute to the late Colin Vearncombe a.k.a. Black, a parody of Wonderful Life (video, lyrics). Lillith sings about her encounter with Akash. Here I sit on my seat again I feel the worse for wear Is this hangover fair? There's Treguard's face Oh what a disgrace To see that floating square There's magic in my lair Look, a boy standing Here in my zone again They wait for the punchline You leave me unimpressed At your blunder filled, blunder filled quest Are you ashamed and stressed At your blunder filled, blunder filled quest You're helped by your spies A helmet's on your head Must be the healer Because you're there And I need some ice, oh I need some ice To make me better I feel like some old crone How dare you bring no ice pack to my domain You don't know it's crunch time Akash, you weren't the best In your blunder filled, blunder filled quest You fall at my behest From your blunder filled, blunder filled quest You needed ice, oh you needed ice To make me happy And cross the zone Your quest stops here But will live on again From ledge end to legend The watchers' favourite jest Is your blunder filled, blunder filled quest And more than all the rest It's a blunder filled, blunder filled quest The watchers will attest To your blunder filled, blunder filled quest And I was but a guest In your blunder filled, blunder filled quest Blunder filled quest It's a blunder filled quest