Things you would never SEE in the dungeons...
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You would never see fast food in the dungeon.
Funny you should say that... The first Knightmare gamebook (Can You Beat The Challenge?) quite pointedly features a hamburger as a food source during one of the quests, with the quotation, 'Yes, there's even junk food in the dungeon!' or similar. ::)
But how about this?
Advisor: OK, just to your left is a plate of salmon en croute with new potatoes, can you see it?
Dungeoneer: Yeah, but it isn't coated in puff pastry. Yuck. I'm not touching it.
Advisor: You don't actually eat it, you just, like, put it in the bag.
Dungeoneer: La la la, I'm sidestepping right and walking forward...
Technically that is something you wouldn't hear rather than wouldn't see, but hopefully it paints a picture...
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All these are things you'd hope not to see. If you did, you'd have to sidestep to your right onto the psychiatrist's couch pretty darn quickly.
Hordriss in a hula-skirt.
Smirkanorff in suspenders. (Okay, it takes some imagination, I know.)
Grimadine in a garter.
Pickle in panties. ("although I don't know...")
Bumptious in a bra.
Nemanor in knickers. (Were there ever "Knightmare Knickers" when the marketers when mad, I wonder...)
Treguard in a tutu. ("Oh God, my eyes, my lovely eyes, please take the image away...")
Oh, I do like being alliterative today.
Hmm, other things you'd rather not see...
Elita? Not in any particularly unfetching costume, just Elita really.
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Hmm, other things you'd rather not see...
Elita? Not in any particularly unfetching costume, just Elita really.
Elita is offensive! Elita is DEEPLY offensive! (sorry, too much Series 2 lately)
ETA: You are also a faceache and a slagrat, so there!
Moving on. You wouldn't see a hot-pink Haunting, Sidriss getting magic right or Goblins having an intelligent conversation about symbolism in Shakespeare.
Or Brother Mace at Alcoholics Anonymous.
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lagrat
ETA: You are also a faceache and a slagrat, so there!
Dearie, that's so rude. Festus, some little elvish ***** is insulting Mummy again. Fetch!
Or Brother Mace at Alcoholics Anonymous.
Or Brother Strange at a book signing, since no publisher in their right mind would buy the rights to his boring old book of proverbs. Muhahaha.
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A close-up of Mrs. G.
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Simon Le Bon........but Nick Rhodes on the other hand
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This is something that I would have liked to see: Julie finding THE sword and challenging Lord Fear to a duel.
And seeing what EXACTLY Greystagg did to Lord Fear....
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Sylvester Hands performing as Fagin from the musical Oliver: 'It's like I always says, Dungeoneer... you gotta pick a pocket or twooo-ooh!'
You'd never see Smirkenorff cleaning himself, either by bathing in a lake, or by some other more canine/feline means!
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