Series 4 - Alistair was unlucky getting the CoB like that, they were really on the ball for the whole of their quest (they didn't get a single riddle wrong). The backwards riddles that Vicky (or was it Nicky?) faced were confusing, that was very unfair, and Jeremy was a little hard done by too. Giles - absolutely was treated unfairly. Those long-winded spyglass sequences were the killer. They should have done what they did in series 1 and edit things a bit.

Just noticed I made an error there - for spyglass, read eye-shield, as I'm sure you'd already figured out anyway.

Hi all.

Been a while I know. But I've finally set up a myspace page for my songs:

www.myspace.com/liamabcallaghan

Only three recorded so far, but there will be more in due course. (They may take a while though as I do play all the parts myself.)

Flash-Tan Businessman is the only one I haven't mentioned on here before, BUT Throwaway World has had some tweaks made to it, including a new lead vocal which for a change I'm actually happy with - something I have never said about my vocal performances before!

This is one of those discussions that I guess people keep coming back to. Here's my thoughts:

Series 1 - tough to say, since most of the teams made "series 1 mistakes", that is to say mistakes that occurred through natural unfamiliarity with the format. Of course, James' fatal sidestep in series 3 comes under this category but by that point in the show was just sheer stupidity!

Series 2 - yes, Jamie was treated unfairly, no question. Especially compared to the hints that Neil got (does anyone else think that some of that team were dyslexic, and that's why they got the hints?).

Series 3 - Leo's riddle was a stinker, and Simon's amulet didn't have a "tracker facility" - even a little shadow on the floor would have helped. Scott's jump was indeed a good one, and it always threw me that they suddenly died. Cliff, there's arguments for and against there. Ross was unlucky too, that cliff path was tough to judge.

Series 4 - Alistair was unlucky getting the CoB like that, they were really on the ball for the whole of their quest (they didn't get a single riddle wrong). The backwards riddles that Vicky (or was it Nicky?) faced were confusing, that was very unfair, and Jeremy was a little hard done by too. Giles - absolutely was treated unfairly. Those long-winded spyglass sequences were the killer. They should have done what they did in series 1 and edit things a bit.

Series 5 - Sarah was hard done by, they were a very capable team, and they did eventually give Elita that gem. Alex's "slowness" on the causeway was a debatable issue, which I guess is why they put a visible clock there next season. Christopher needed three objects from one clue room to successfully complete level 2, so he was very unfairly treated indeed.

Series 6 - Matt's causeway death has always rankled with me, because it doesn't actually look like he put a foot wrong on it. And yes, Sofia didn't even get a chance to fail on the Great Causeway. Btw - Ben on that same causeway, the advisors used logic to work out the sequence.

Series 7 - Ben and the scattered spell was very unfair, considering the ease of the clues by this point in the series, the need to use that darkness powder or whatever it was, was not at all obvious. Usually, even in the first series, it's obvious what needs to be done, the question is do they have the means?

Series 8 - Daniel's CoB experience was indeed unfair. Also, Michael is another one that can be argued both ways.

All right, "Throwaway World" mark III, is now up:

http://www.youtube.com/​watch?v=i6uuGfQ-pHY

The vocal intro makes the difference. More attention-grabbing, methinks. I'd thought of doing a single guitar chord along the lines of The Beatles' "Helter Skelter", but I wasn't quite sure how to translate that to my keyboard, so I went with the vocal start instead. Still works. And, as I've said before, this is a song I'm proud to have written. If you don't like the disposable standards of modern like, then this song is for you!

OK, ignore the link above, the revised version is at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltqhUIbcKLs

The only difference is I've added a few extra manual drumbeats which I meant to put on in the first place but forgot!

OK, I've just uploaded "Throwaway World" onto youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=affJIrr_yHU

I originally wrote this song in 2002-3, as a commentary on how disposable modern standards have become. I finally got round to recording it this last week. As with my first song, I played all the instrumental parts myself, all on my keyboard. I'm not a fan of my vocal performance, but I think the written article holds up.

I'm not really convinced that a "Champion Of Champions" contest would work in Knightmare, because the teams weren't competing against each other. But if we're going to make it a contest, then let's make it 16 teams, which would allow a one-on-one knockout format.

OBVIOUSLY the eight winning teams, but aside from those:

Yes, Leo & Martin from series 3, and Richard from series 1, as already mentioned, alongside:

Alistair and Giles from series 4

Sofia and Chris from series 6

And any one of the following:

Simon or Alex from series 7

Daniel from series 8

Helen from series 4

I listen to a lot of comedy on the radio, and one that I've got into recently is "Elvenquest". And it's recently occurred to me, the villain, Lord Darkness, is a little bit like Lord Fear - at least Alistair MacGowan's portrayal of him certainly is.

In response to another death:

TREGUARD - Ooh, lovely!

OR

TREGUARD - Spellcasting - L-O-S-E-R-S

ANY WALL MONSTER: Falsehood . . . Falsehood . . . Falsehood . . . oh come on, get one right you stupid team, they don't have a visual for me feeding on you!

Aesandre: Lord Fear, your courtship grows tiresome. I have snowmen in Winteria more appealing than you.

Lord Fear: How dare you? I... I don't know what to say.

Aesandre: Try expressing yourself through 1980s popular music lyrics.

Lord Fear: I must say, Queen Aesandre, that [gets up and sings, with backing music kicking in] 'You're as cold as ice, you're willing to sacrifice our love...'

Strictly speaking, that's 1977 - but hey, it's by one of my favourite bands, and Lou Gramm is such an amazing singer . . .

The second one . . .

Completely Abysmal Sixth Team

Contestants Are So Terrible

Clumsy Akash, Stupid Team (or Advisors instead of Akash if you prefer).

But is the real answer "Cast A Spell, TRUTH"?

Fear's eyes are red.

Is it too late to come up with a funny one for this?

"Frightened, Everybody? All Right!"

When James steps off the ledge at the start of this episode, I've always regarded that as a "series 1" mistake. The advisors forgot that the dungeoneer couldn't see what the floor was like beneath him, should have said "one more SMALL sidestep" - rather than just "one more"!

To illustrate what I mean, the second ever quest, Maeve leaves the comb behind and pays the price in Lilith's chamber. It's understanadble in series 1, because all the teams were thrown in at the deep end a bit - but by series 3, it's just, well . . .

Hardly a good omen for winning the cup.

Hahaaa!

Without wanting this thread to go off-topic, I wonder if I was the only Knightmare fan shouting "KNAPSACK!" when today's Pointless final involved words beginning & ending with 'K'.

I said it! Unfortunately, at least one of the hundred people they questioned must have said it too.

I've recently picked up a few of these in my local secondhand bookshop, and gotten right back into them. Of course I have all the Knightmare books, whose quest sections operate on largely the same principle, but it was still fun flipping through these. I was just wondering, has anybody else still got any of these?

For those that don't know, I write songs. Last year, I recorded one for the first time. I played all the instrumental parts - guitar, bass, piano and horns - myself, all on my keyboard. My one cheat was the drums, one of the keyboard's preset rhythms, but considering I was doing everything else myself, I can be allowed that one.

The song is called the Two Ronnies Blues, and it's up on youtube.

I also sent it to Mitch Benn (who does the funny songs on The Now Show), and he liked it enough to play it on his comedy song podcast no22 (which you can still find on his website if you go to podcasts, and scroll down - and possibly click on "older podcast stuff").

I don't like my vocal performance on it, but I stand by the written article. Obviously you'll get more out of it if you're more familiar with The Two Ronnies, but it's still fun. And I am very proud of my piano solo.

I'm also currently working on another song, but what with one thing and another it may be a while before I can get it completed.

OK, I know this is a poll question on the main site, but which version of the theme tune do people prefer, and why?

I myself am sort of torn between two.

I love the original theme because it brings back the most memories, it's the one I first think of when I think of Knightmare, so as a nostalgist it wins hands down.

HOWEVER, as a musician, I love the series 4-5 version best, because it has the most "epic" feel to it - the big orchestral arrangement, although no less anachronistic than the 80s synths when compared to the period the books are set in really conjures up images of noble knights going on great adventures.

As for the series 6-8 version - that should never have been allowed to happen. It was symptomatic of the dumbing down of the series.

I must admit, I like the thought of some sort of get-together. I'm not great with crowds normally, but with something like this we've all got the same common ground so it shouldn't matter! If something is organised, I'd love to be part of it if I can.

Hiya,

OK, this is short notice, but is anyone free tonight to go and see Chris Addison at SHEFFIELD CITY HALL? I've got a spare ticket.

The one that springs to mind for me is Nathan in Series 8. You can't really argue with his death - they guided him into a hole - but they were such a brilliant team that so deserved to win, and worse teams have been allowed to survive such missteps, and then Treguard implies they were punished for not securing Maldame's help. It feels massively unfair.

Well, I was only really referring to the circumstances of the death itself - but you're right about some great teams dying very unfairly - like Leo, because they didn't know one very obscure piece of knowledge, or Danny, who has been called the most promising dungeoneer in series 1 but made a stupid mistake.

And if we're on the subject of stupid mistakes - well, that's a different topic altogether! Like James, who made a "series 1 mistake" in series 3, or Richard in series 8, which is even more excusable, one advisor insisting on taking a key because she presumed a key must by its very nature be useful!