Based on the Backstreet Boys song I Want It That Way (1999). Official video

I am a flier

Who can breathe fire

I came to Fridays

'Cause they blocked the wellways

Pre me, were stairways and carts

To reach deeper parts

Now they say

You can't use the wellway

Tell me why Elita calls you faceache

Tell me why Sly Hands is such a pissed flake

Tell me why stone chutes became so passé

They blocked the wellways

I'm no descender

A pre-weekender

In green: goodbye, grey

'Cause there are no wellways

Tell me why Elita calls you faceache

Tell me why Sly Hands is such a pissed flake

Tell me why stone chutes became so passé

They blocked the wellways

Come Series 8 and I'm sat on my arse

Like the way the wyrms used to be

No matter that Treguard treats me like a dog

I'll taxi once more for thee

Across the mire

I'm flying higher

I am, I am, I am, I am

Smirky again today...

Welcome back, Paul - and thanks for a fantastic update!

While only a chosen few got to experience Studio E / EPIC Studios as Knightmare contestants - in 1987-94 and for the YouTube Geek Week episode in 2013 - many more of us got to enjoy it as the venue for the Knightmare Convention in 2014. To know that it's now hosted a GamesMaster nostalgia trip too is great news. I'm glad you were able to be so involved.

Based on Black Magic by Little Mix (2015). Official video and lyrics

All the kids in the land at the dungeon door

Saw the casting of spells and we wanted more

Need a FREEZER for a catacombite?

Want a LANTERN to make a wellway light?

Here's the answer, come and spell it

On a Knightmare quest

As for Treguard: HEROES if you won

Maybe UNITE for the late undone

Mostly DISMISSing for five whole series

And the teams egressed

At the pealing of bells he'd be casting his spells, 'cause

Treguard had his own magic quotient

When teams' luck was too tough

But eventually someone reckoned

DISMISS was not enough

So it changed to "Farewell"

Watchers thought "What the hell

Do you call that magic

Do you call that magic"

[x2]

If you're looking for Mr. Knight

Need that magic so you're not set alight

Beat the mancer, that's what Ben did

During Series 6

Head towards Level 3 for a spelling spree, and

Take a trip on a secret ocean

With Captain Nemanor

Help him out and his WIND will send you

Into the Mines of Gore

Your choice of TRICK or TREAT

And then SPLASH to defeat

And it's called-out magic

And it's called-out magic...

Hi Helga and welcome to the forum. Thanks for sharing your memories and appreciation of Ron Lyon. His frightknight sculptures and trophies were a unique creative contribution to Knightmare. I hope your quest for more of Ron's sculptures is successful!

Do you think Peggatty's laughter is Tom Karol? I always think it sounds a lot like Mrs Grimwold.

This is something I've wondered about too, and asked for Billy's opinion on via Beg Billy on the Interactive Knightmare website many years ago.

I certainly think Peggatty's laughter was done by a man. If it was Tom Karol, I wonder if they'd had it on tape for three years, unused, or if it was newly recorded as an uncredited contribution.

I'm not keen on the idea of Tom Karol being called back in just to record a little bit of audio, then sent on his way (even though we know that Tim Child did keep Tom in mind post-Series 3 and worked with him again on the TimeGate pilot in 2002). I do like the idea of Tim deciding to recycle Mrs. Grimwold's laugh for Peggatty, reminiscing about the Grimwolds and that being why Tim included references to the Grimwolds (including a son) in Series 6.

About the latter part of Series 7 Quest 7. Based on Under the Boardwalk by the Drifters (1964). Official audio

Oh when the boot's put down and there's a Marta who's a spoof

And in a room that was hot, you were kept safe by drinking Fireproof

Lissard's with Hordriss, but he can't see

Mountebanks are just like mages, fools to be

Dungeons and Hordriss, once to be feared

Dungeons and Hordriss, a formidable beard

Dungeons and Hordriss, now he acts like a clot

Dungeons and Hordriss, for the sake of plot

Dungeons and Hordriss, Hordriss

In the pub you hear the tavern maid sounding quite unreal

And so it's time to help the top dog by spelling REVEAL

Lissard's with Hordriss, now he can see

So he shows your team a stairway to Level 3

Dungeons and Lord Fear, he's raising hell

Dungeons and Lord Fear, listen in through a shell

Dungeons and Lord Fear, sends a troll up a shaft

Dungeons and Lord Fear, crushed again it's daft

Dungeons and Lord Fear, Lord Fear...

Hello!

First time poster here but long time Knighmare fan!

Belated welcome to the forum, Hordriss. Thanks for being another source of news about Knight Terror. I hadn't realised it was a multi-parter, so that was great to know. Part 3 was released last Friday.

I like Knight Terror's mix of homage, parody and originality.

Velda sings. Based on Overprotected by Britney Spears (2001). Official video

I'll meet Simon...

James... Scott... Julie... Kelly...

Gavin... Martin...

Series... Three - action!

Say hello to the elf that I am

You're going to have to deal with my directives

If you are on a quest through Banburn, here I am

And when I scream "Elvandis", you're protected

If behemoths come my way

Or there are goblins taking chances

Then they will rue the day

I will shoot, I will jab

Not just casual glances

What's she gonna do with her knife?

You will find out, don't worry

Should I take the left door or the right?

You've just got to do it your way

I can help when danger's real

And my knife will keep the ogre deflected

I'll tell them I don't like bearded men, 'cause I don't

And Dunshelm has to deal with my invective

Giving me a rose, well that will help, making me more well-disposed

Like freeing me

When incarcerated

If behemoths come my way

Or there are goblins taking chances

Then they will rue the day

I will shoot, I will jab

Not just casual glances

What's she gonna do with her knife?

You will find out, don't worry

Should I take the left door or the right?

You just got to do it your way

I can help when danger's real

And my knife will keep the ogre deflected...

Made by Hat Films and released on YouTube yesterday.

I recently watched Star Wars series The Mandalorian. Interestingly, Jedi Master Kelleran Beq - the host character in Jedi Temple Challenge, played by Ahmed Best - appears briefly in The Mandalorian.

I wonder if there are any other examples of a gameshow character appearing in a full-fiction TV series or film. Imagine if Hugo Myatt appeared as Treguard in a drama!

The name of a recently sacked BBC presenter reminds me that Knightmare Series 2 Quest 13 featured a Scot (aka dungeoneer Karen) in the Mills of Doom.

Based on HYPNOTIZE by XG (2026). Official video

Hey, you're questing from what you can't escape

No wellway can get you out of your losing state this day

I watch and criticise

Your bad advice

You could feel more wise

If you'd got it right, no ill advising

Woah, woah, woah, ill advising

Woah, woah, now you've died from your own advice

'Cause every time a team screws up like this

There's a little spell I cast: DISMISS

I say you lost lost lost

Through ill advising

And you give a wave and walk walk walk away

With a scroll you're homeward bound

Four who rolled the dice

But they lost through bad advice

You begin a quest to be a knight

A knapack to feed your life force sprite

For the watchers of illusion

Your commands may cause confusion

If you're not too deft

Then your right is muddled with your left

And then you have a dungeoneer who's wrongly stepped

You were not adept, my goodbye is prepped

I watch and criticise

Your bad advice

You could feel more wise

If you'd got it right, no ill advising

Woah, woah, woah, ill advising

Woah, woah, now you've died from your own advice

'Cause every time a team screws up like this

There's a little spell I cast: DISMISS

I say you lost lost lost

Through ill advising

And you give a wave and walk walk walk away

With a scroll you're homeward bound

Four who rolled the dice

But they lost through bad advice

When you're falling deep, what do you see?

Not Level Three

Curve of your learning's steep

You're back at school

Teams saying "Where am I?" "You're in a room"

Might need more keen minds to stay clear of doom

Now they're playing my game, if they lose then I shame them

Victims of their own bad advice...

I can't see Mark in any of the rehearsal photos on Facebook, but I think there's a glimpse of him in this Instagram video from rehearsals.

Welcome, Gongylus. Great to have a new member in 2026!

Did you know that Michael Cule (Brother Mace et al) co-hosts a podcast about RPGs? It's called Improvised Radio Theatre - With Dice!

And Knightmare Live is coming back to Leeds! It'll be at the Old Woollen on Thursday 2nd April.

The photos of the pink skies over Birmingham reminded me of Knightmare Series 4.

Marking the 40th anniversary this year of the first Knightmare pilot. Based on Manchild by Sabrina Carpenter (2025). Official video

An idea was awoken

By the electronic

Could adventure gaming

On TV be iconic?

You found an illustrator

David Rowe got started

You cast a dungeon master

Treguard, that's what you'll call him

Blue screen

With grids in

So

Make players... sightless

And there's computer life force in, I know

Tim Child

What you made, it is so stunning to me

Luck was rife

With your filming at Anglia TV

Innovation and flair

You turned into Knightmare

Tim Child

What you made, it is so stunning

Elevating children's TV

From the Spaceward great things come

With traps and threats to overcome

And teatime scares at maximum

We knew it was the one

Tim Child

What you made, it is so stunning to me

Luck was rife

With your filming at Anglia TV

Innovation and flair

You turned into Knightmare

Tim Child

What you made, it is so stunning

Elevating children's TV

Oh you made a series we can't forget

Sixty-nine quests, it was magnificent

And your Broadsword was might-ier than your pen

Right there

Knightmare...

I enjoyed the moment where Daniel disguised himself as Lord Fear

In taking on Lord Fear's Series 8 appearance, Daniel went from a skullcap to a skull helmet.

As watchers, this scene gave us a sense of what would have happened if Series 6 Team 4 had used Lord Fear's ring to turn January into Lord Fear in Hands's presence.

Merlin reflects on the emergence of his alter ego Mogdred in Series 2. Based on I'm Going Slightly Mad by Queen (1991). Official lyric video

When the count of episodes rises

And we've double the dungeoneers

A pale and more clean-shaven side of me

Appears on Levels 3 and 2, oh dear

Is he trying to tell you something?

Dismissal's what he wants for you

He says that he likes observing fear

He's my dark side, I wish it wasn't true

I'm going slightly bad

I'm going slightly bad

It finally happened, happened

It finally happened, oh no

It finally happened

I'm slightly bad

Oh dear

Put Treguard under a mute spell

Cast SHROUD, it was chilling

His playpen put Tony in hell

He wakes up dragons for killing

He wants a pledge from believers

Monks he pretends to be

Miss Gretel he dared to kidnap

To Chris he threatened puppetry

Oh dear

He's got a giant hand

He's got a giant hand

He's trying to grab you, grab you

He's trying to grab you, oh yes

One day technomancers

Will steal his act

Lord Fear

He makes sure my every good deed'll

Be balanced by one that's cruel

He's striving to make me shut down a phase

And send kids homeward for Yule...

Giles from Series 4 comes downstairs on Christmas morning 1990, to find the two presents he most wanted, waiting under the tree: a Frightknight trophy with a note saying 'Go on, you earned it!'; and Merlin's head. Gift-wrapped. It plays a tinny version of 'Driving Home For Christmas' by Chris Rea when you pull the beard.

Or perhaps it played a parody...

In memory of Chris Rea. Official lyric video

We're magicked home for Christmas

We're not elated, see our faces

We're magicked for Christmas, yeah

Which on Knightmare's assinine

Got to Level 3

And we were close

To victory

But we got sent away

DISMISS really jars

Magicked home for Christmas

It is the greatest crime seen in Knightmare

Got to the transporter pads

And there's a frightknight hanging round

But soon there'll be a phase shift, yeah

That means no more winners crowned

So a silly sprite

And Merlin did a

Bit, it was trite

They don't consider

Psychological scars

We're magicked home for Christmas

Magicked home for Christmas

With the watchers' sympathies

Just take a look at the adviser next to me

And see his shame

See his shame...

Thanks for organising this, Mark. Anyone who's read or watched Tipping the Velvet will be interested in Whitstable and the Kent theatre scene.